>> Has a pocket protector made of gold
>>600 visits English-language discussion boards to post "HELLO YANKEE! I AM HAPPY JAPANESE! ^________^" and he does it so much that he forgot to seize the 600GET.
When >>601 heard that Osama bin Laden was killed, his first reaction was to post on internet forums about how shameful it was that people in the US were celebrating and dancing in the streets at the grisly death of a human being.
>>602 took photos of himself for the "choking" and "cut-throat" gestures on this page http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_gestures
>>603 Invented a device to make his middle finger look like E.T.'s finger, making the gesture that much more effective.
>>605 knows which episodes of Futurama mention a finglonger device.
>>606 correctly referred to "episodes", as the Finglonger appears in more than one episode.
>>609's sex doll has more than one button on it, all custom mods.
>>610 knows everything there is to know about sex dolls, even when they belong to other people. ESPECIALLY when they belong to other people.
>>611 Built a machine that demolishes one old growth forest every time a crappy movie is released that is made boring by environmentalism. He demolished 2 old growth forests because he hated Avatar so much.
>>612 Was angry that his parents sent to him to a Christian private school. In order to get kicked out, he replaced every Bible passage that said "By the power of God" and stuff like that with "By the power of Castle Greyskull."
>>613 Took pictures of himself ejaculating on a He-man action figure.
>>614 provided the context for each de-geso in http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm13270872
It took him all day, but it needed to be done.
>>616 secretly writes compilers for every other language in Brainfuck, treating his strange hobby as the ultimate techno-fetish.
>>618 obsessively three-starred all of Angry Birds just to "prove" that casual games are easy and they suck
>>619 wrote a C program for the perfect Ninja Gaiden speedrun. He only needs to slightly alter five lines of code in order for it to fit any other video game in existence.
>>622 obsessively researches and creates new combinations and permutations of Japanese chat-style emoticons, such as o(∩_∩)o
>>624 can turn any text into a tripcode and vice versa with a single thought, even secure ones.
>>625 is so nerdy he made a (∩ヮ∩) face as he was typing that.
>>626 has a keyboard that is wired to play the MLP theme song on hitting the Enter key.
>>627 has over 100 different types of doors in his house, from all over the world. and changes them every month.
>>628 recorded a video for Life in a Day about the dullness of his life.
...which was then overlooked by editors.
>>631 sells and provides tech support for left-buttock tracking technology. His DRM makes very sure the device will self-destruct exactly 128 hours after being implanted anywhere but a left buttock, inadvertently making it popular with assassins.
>>632 has an ever-growing collection of left-buttocks, sawn off expensive anime figurines.
>>634 flew to Japan in order to attend a Nanoha doujin convention, taking a taxi from the airport to the exhibition centre and back again. He bought three doujins, so the trip was totally worth it.
>>637 initially fucked up the cosplay, but got it right after a 48 hour marathon.
>>638 Was able to do that by using that fat hiding technique in Tenjo Tenje
>>639 is responsible for capturing and submitting most every quote on bash.org.
>>645 wrote a 12000 words essay that is referenced in the "criticism" section of Wikipedia's entry on Spivak pronouns
>>647 has memorized Morohashi's Kanji dictionary. If you give him a Unicode CJK codepoint, he can instantly tell you which page of which volume holds the character's entry, and will recite said entry from memory no matter what you might try to shut him up with.
>>648 is that guy who knows how to find exactly the right AA for any post but has vehemently insisted that he will take his secret to the grave.
>>652 writes furry slash fanfiction about Reverend Moon as an anthro rabbit and Ban Ki Moon as a sheep. Fanart for his story sold for over $25,000 at the last convention auction.
>>654 took pictures of the event from a Russian spy satellite and sold them to satellite porn sites.
>>655 spontaneously orgasmed at the thought of satellite porn sites. With their wide-open solar sails, those sluts are just asking for it ...
>>656 knows exact age of Bender (including all his time travels and such).
>>657 programmed an UTAUloid with the voice inflections of an awkward gaijin.
>>658 felt that a Utah accent would be appropriate for a UTAHloid.
>>659 has a massive database containing phonetic details of every English language accent he has ever heard.
>>660 has a vocaloid library containing his own dialect of English.
>>665 organized a protest against anti-loli regulation, but sadly only he showed up.
>>666 is so nerdy that he failed to seize the Number-of-the-Beast-GET.
>>667 pretends to not be nerdy enough to appreciate that the whole Number-of-the-Beast thing isn't nerdy at all, as opposed to powers of two. Also, 1010011011.
>>669 thinks eroge are more than just weeaboo CYOAs with sexy time. And failed to seize the 69get.
>>672 had a hentai ROM cartridge for his Sega.
>>676 uses a strap to hold his glasses in place because the lens weigh almost as much as him.
>>677 Made an eroge that was even more shitty than Night Shift urses.
>>679 can play a full Starfleet Battles game by himself, without ever referencing a rulebook.
>>680 saw "Night Shift Ursas" and immediately concluded it was a furry eroge involving bear-people, because that's an obsession of his.
>>681 dreams of one day publishing his bear-people eroge at Comiket, where his application has been rejected for the past fifteen years.
>>682 reviews obscure video games in an AVGN-wannabe style, but due to his utter lack of social and acting skills, every scatological joke is given in a muttered, deadpan monotone.
>>683 Bought loads of real buffalo diarrhea to make his AVGN impersonation that much better.
>>686 has devoted his life to becoming the perfect Chester A. Bum impersonator.
OH MY GAWD, >>687 is the nerdiest poster I've ever seen in my life!
>>688 Understands the "nerd irony" of shows like Azumanga Dioah.
>>689 tries to educate people through his funny but practical youtube videos. It was quite a disappointment that only other nerds was watching them for entertainment.
>>690 creates and fills in TVtropes pages for manga titles that haven't been translated at all.
>>691 creates and fills in TVtropes pages for manga titles that don't actually exist, making him not only a nerd but also a troll.
>>692 deletes valuable information from TVtropes pages for existing and translated manga titles while inserting meaningless banter, using hundreds of sock puppets on several dozen proxies. He started trying to do the same on Wikipedia, but accidentally got himself elected to admin for it.
>>694 is writing a Dr. Who/New My Little Pony crossover fanfiction.
>>695's MENSA application was rejected because he attached an essay detailing everything that was wrong with their IQ tests.