>> Has a pocket protector made of gold
>>802 is a world champion of the Unicycle Jousting Tournament.
>>804 became interested in unicycle jousting and is looking for the best unicycle available on the mass market.
>>807 imports bad (yet highly expensive) Japanese Techno CD's just to complain about them on his blog.
Screams, "THE WHEEL OF FAT IS TURNING" every time he starts something.
>>810 Dropkicked the improv workshop mimeshow gobshite facepaint Left Bank Kenneth Emma R-A-D-A Rainer Werner - Cokeheads cokeheads cokeheads
>>811 bought the most expensive air brush to colour his favourite figurine.
>>812 keeps an entire copy of the Common Lisp HyperSpec in his mind and has dedicated content-addressable neural networks for quick access to it.
"I've always wanted to have all my holes filled with dozens of ochinchins"
->>815>>817 uses a Steel Battalion controller to drive a Roomba around while making Gundam noises.
>>820 Is the world's biggest Brony, that was determined by the value of all his My Little Pony collectibles
>>821 started collecting My Little Pony, Care Bears, Rainbow Brite, Strawberry Shortcake, and Jem merchandise years ago, hedging his bets that one of them would eventually get rebooted and become insanely popular.
>>822 Made an independent film that glorified the '80s My Little Pony, Strawberry Shortcake, and Care Bears and bashed the reboot versions that came decades later in such a snobby way, that the N.Y. Times hired him to be a film critic.
>>822 is working on a roguelike where you're not War but rather Pestilence. Also, they're all ponies.
And when >>825 had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.
And I looked, and beheld a pale pony: and his name that sat on him was Death, and awkward, thread-ending posts followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the Internets, to kill with sarcasm, and with stale copypasta, and with overused memes, and with the lolcats of the earth.
>826 eats ramen every meal not because he likes it or can't afford food, but because he is under the mistaken impression that all ramen is made by a company that trademarked the recipe for ramen, and they advertise in every anime and manga. That's why he has all the packages in his room, they are collectors' items, not trash. He bought the '76 Top Ramen Limited Winter Edition shrimp/chicken gift pack from before they changed the package design off ebay as an investment in order to secure the funds to purchase a genuine '32 Daimyo stainless steel diesel-powered noodle maker of the factory design.
>>827 authors Youtube poops of obscure cartoon shows from his childhood.
>>828 created a moe anthropomorphization of Moe Anthropomorphism itself.
The national guard has been called in, but they're mainly there to aid the evacuation effort.
>>829 changed his name to Moe Anthropomorphization, and is trying to talk his girlfriend into changing her name to Tsundere.
>>830 collects the fart gas from his fat ass for experimental homemade bomb construction.
>>831 is making a life-size replica of that japanese town used for background images in Lucky Star with only bricks made from his shit.
>>833 drinks alcohol-free beer in hopes to become more mature.
>>835 finds it difficult to partake in his favorite alcoholic concoctions without donning steampunk garb.
>>838 has spent many a bored night spamming his group's Ventrilo channel with various such absurd things.
>>839 invented Ventrilo harassment, and still wears a ratty old Duke Nukem t-shirt that says "I've got balls of steel."
>>840 Wears a mask that has a perfect ahegao facial expression on it.
>>842 always begins his phrases with "sudo", because he wants to sound important.
>>844 wears a t-shirt that says "Linux is for people who hate Bill Gates. FreeBSD is for people who love UNIX."
>>845 Every time NASA finds another planet that resembles Earth, he shoots it with his Genesis Device. One time he accidentally pulled the trigger twice, destroying a great civilization.
>>846 misread "Tandy corp." as "Tsundere" and has spent the last thirty-three years trying to melt the ice around his computer's heart.
When >>847 makes chiptunes, he uses a genuine sound chip every time. He built a music machine that has a SID, Paula, YM2612, and 41 other retro sound chips
>>849 corrects people that say "GNU/Linux" by saying "GNU, Linux, X, and many other essential components are part of a modern OS, and Linux as a collective term works well enough."
>>853 promised himself to spend Christmas alone, but went to DQN nonetheless.
>>856 goes to parties cosplaying as Sailor Moon--whether they are costume parties or not.
>>856 goes to parties cosplaying as Sailor Moon, without shaving his Unix beard before.
>>858 Invented a beard that can change its own shape with robotic hair.
>>860 believes that he's "VIP quality" just because he knows where the secret area of VIP quality is.
>>861 relies on his own judgement to decide whenever something is VIP quality or not.
>>864 Played every NES game with the Power Glove to see what doesn't work. After he did that, he got his Famicom to NES adapter to see what would happen with Famicom exclusive games.
>>866 Used an LJN Rollin' Rocker to control a Linux beard, the result was that the Unix beard shaved itself.
>>867 has been declared a hostile foreign power by the CIA after building a working, armed replica of the tank from Master Blaster.
>>868 Has a Gibson Flying V guitar that actually flies, up to mach 2.2 at an altitude of 90,000 feet.
>>869 killed himself, believing he would go to Gensokyo and meet an unnamed book-reading youkai.
>>871 Attached a microchip to his brain so he can control machinery without even pushing a button or giving a voice command.
>>874 is John C. Brandstetter, longing to recapture the good old days of *zark*ing FEKA goons.
>>875 can't really believe in himself. But he'd really love to.
>>876 Loved Top Gun and After Burner games so much, he built a jet that looks like an F-14 Tomcat. However, his look alike is capable of vertical takeoff, stealth, and reaches speeds of Mach 3.5.
>>877 has built a device which predicts coming changes in the Japanese economy by sniffing used schoolgirl panties with a robotic nose.
When an anime company releases something that >>878 doesn't like, he hacks the Nikkei to lower the stock price to 1 yen per share.
>>879 hacked the big wall displays at the New York Stock Exchange to say "AVAST YE SWABS, BANK OF AMERICA IS GOING UNDER," causing the 2007 sub-prime mortgage crisis and subsequent economic dislocations.
>>880 contents himself with hacking airport information systems so that all flights with non-prime numbers will show on all screens as being cancelled.
>>881 is a cartography nerd, and currently accepting corrections for his 1:1024 scale map of the United States.
>>884 Makes fan games that feature NES characters, however, the levels they are in are insanely difficult.
>>887 complains to every web-sight that didn't black out today.
>>888 can remember the first 400 digits of pi, but not the location of the g-spot.
>>889 Built a copy of the GoldenEye laser. When it fires, another one of his inventions causes every TV station to say "IMMA FIRIN MAH LAHZOR!"
>>890 is so afraid of social contact that he avoids playing online games.
>>891 Is a Real Drive otaku that has dinner with his darling waifu, and it is an enormous McDonald's burger.
>>894 Calls Lina Inverse his waifu.
He does this: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/events/dinner-with-waifu-otaku-dates
And he brings 30 kilograms of food to the table.
>>895 contributes financially to the Modern Cheezburger Society of Internet Culture.
>>896 Hates a certain youtube game reviewer, so he created "Locomotive Breath Gamer Reviews" to make fun of him.