In the beginning I am running in the forest naked as fast as I can, as if I'm escaping from something. I encounter big swarms of aggressive bees recklessly stinging me on the road but it doesn't stop me. Then I get to a branch and realize that all but one of the stings were actually nails. Strangely, those nails are actually reversed, pointing up with the head inside my skin.
Suddenly, an empty cinema room. I'm standing there, examining the only one of those stings that isn't a nail, and vomitting on it in order to neutralize the poison. The nails are expulsed out of my skin, the scars and the vomit disappear, I take a seat, and people start getting inside the room.
The film starts, and I know even before its beginning it's a sequel to a show I really like (Kaamelott). But that film is fucking terrible, and the only scene I remember is some guy running ejecting nails out of his skin.
Suddenly, I'm in a medieval Europe-styled market next to the forest and a railroad. Someone is with me and goes on the railroad. I tell that person what ey's doing is dangerous and ey comes back. I look at an arcade game in the market and decide to play it. The screen shows a cylindric tower slightly to the left in front of a blue sky with a few clouds, and there are ghosts with their tongues out represented exactly by the same sprite as in the Touhou games for PC-98.
And then I wake up.

UH

>>2
grabs dick

Now where have I seen this thread before.

>>3
Suck my cock, dude.

I had a dream where an alligator snapping turtle climbed down a tree and bit something, causing it to split in two.

Then, I had this dream where some guy with a 1980s Chevy Class C RV was trailing my car by 3 feet. We both stopped in the same parking lot and I confronted him. He gave me some bullshit story, and I raged when I saw that he also had a Chevy Cruze. I told him how much corporate welfare pisses me off, and he got someone to tow my car away, because I don't have an American car. I discovered that the tow company didn't tow my car properly, so I got ready to sue them. Then I woke up.

Okay.

I'm in this old, stately house with lots of ornate filigrees and complex moldings. It's well-lit and pretty.

Someone is warning me not to snoop around in here but I keep having to go deeper for one reason or another.

I meet a girl on the second floor. I talk to her for a while about what it's like outside and promise to come see her again.

Later, I notice that I can't touch things. It's like everything I'm seeing is just being projected in front of me.

At that point, someone starts getting upset with me and I know what's happening.

She isn't a person, and never was. She is some kind of monster that usurps reality by substituting its own identical copy. I start being able to grab things again.

I messed up by telling it about the outside world, so now it knows about it. It somehow got stuck in that house and I set it free.

I run back upstairs to try and beg it to stop until I realize that it can't stop, and that I no longer exist. I'm the monster, I've over-written the guy who set me free.

I can't remember specific dreams, but I do have a whole generic fantasy/harem setting in which I battle goblins and dragons and all that jazz. It's pretty lame, but the dreams are semi-lucid and very consistent. I could probably write ten novels' worth of the stories and settings I've encountered.
I only wish my imagination was this active while I was awake...

I don't dream.

Unless I take melatonin and diphenhydramide after a period of sleep deprivation.

Last night, I had a dream which took place on some grassy dunes near the sea. I was aware that, somehow, everybody could now wish for whatever they like, but the wishes couldn't contradict one another or be reversed. So, obviously, I wished to be a little girl. And I was.

I wandered down the hill/dune and found a girl sitting on one of those swing bench things. She was a little tomboyish, and, after talking to her a little, I said that she should totally try wishing to be a man, or at least to have the appropriate genitalia. She said she's consider it.

I had a dream where talking bears lived in a condo complex and kept deer as pets. At times the deer would not behave properly. I gave them advice and it worked. The next time the deer misbehaved, I told them what to do but I was ignored. What the talking bears did was not effective. Each time I told the talking bears what to do, the bears would just say "We are superior to humans."

That sounds too much like the stupidity that happens in my life.

I had a dream in which I posted something on DQN. I don't remember what I was posting, but my captcha was inositol.

I was working in an office. No idea what it was we did, but it was some kind of creative endeavor. Helen Mirrin worked upstairs, and I heard her say "What is this tripe? This is ridiculous." A moment later she starts belting out some 60's rock song about Thundercats in a perfect Grace Slick impersonation.

My immediate thought was "Damn, I've GOT to get her on my project somehow." I woke up just as I got to my corner office. Never did find out what my job was.

So I was in this restaurant in Beijing and sat down to eat a salad. The Chinese dude next to me watched me eat, then after I'd finished told me that it was someone else's meal, and I was in big trouble. I dismissed his worry, and asked him to fix my phone's Kindle app, which had decided to download Korean versions of all my ebooks over the English ones. I woke up just as the Chinese Food Cops were wall-jumping up the street in my direction and yelling at me to stay where I was.

A guy who didn't like me at school pissed in my orange juice so I stabbed him all over but no blood came out.

A guy fucked me in the ass and I woke up with a shame boner.

I met a guy I went to school with and said hello, but he completely ignored me. It turned out it was actually a robot version of him, created in order to act in a historically hyper-accurate play written and directed by one of my flatmates.

I just remember Volts = Watts * Seconds which isn't true since it's Volts = Watts * Amps

>>21
That wasn't a dream, you just existed in 2 time dimension X 2 space dimension space for a short time.

I had a really vivid dream last night, I was playing a GTA game, and I was in the top corner of the map where it was mostly water, I was on a dirtbike, and most of the land was broken boardwalks and walkways, and a big half-sunken ship. I was trying to get back to the land but I kept fucking up and drowning, and it kept respawning me on these boardwalks in the middle of nowhere, until one time where I managed to land on the ship. Pedestrians were spawning on the ship, and I had fun for a while walking into them so they fell through the gaps and off the side of the spiral staircases that went down into the bottom of the ship.

But then the next part of the dream was real life rather than in-game, and it was a mass funeral for all these people I'd killed pushing off the ship and down stairs and stuff. One of the people I pushed was a girl who survived, she somehow lost an eye. She was wearing a figureskating outfit. She was speaking in front of all mourners about how I'd killed her sister, and she was still going to take part in this big figureskating championship, for her sister. Everyone applauded her bravery but the other figureskating girls were also there, and they were mad because they knew that they didn't have a chance because this girl was going to get all the sympathy votes from the judges.

It was so vivid and so odd.

Dreamed I was in some weird X-Files episode where Mulder had gone into hiding and even Scully didn't know where he was, but I was being questioned like I would know something.

I was trying to explain Grignard reagents to my mother and sister, but I kept getting interrupted.

Dreamed my mom found my Fleshlight and had quietly put it with the dishes to be washed. Then later the dog crawled up in the chimney knocking down all sorts of dirt and soot, and I had to pull him out. Then there was more scrabbling in the chimney and I pulled out another puppy that wasn't ours.

I had a dream about making a steampunk fleshlight.

I had a dream where a microwave oven melted away into infinitely deep white space leaving me with a timer knob in my fingers. I guess I shouldn't have turned it.

One minute out of twenty.

I had a long and elaborate dream, but the only thing I really remember was the fact that I tried a face mask thing -- you know, the gel(?) stuff you put on your face, and then it hardens and you pull it off and your face is cleaner afterwards.
I thought it would remove the blackheads on my nose, but to my dismay, it actually left me with big warts, zits, and scars.
When I woke up, I immediately went to the bathroom and checked my face. It was fine. I then washed my face very thoroughly.

Many rooms, large cooridoor
giagantic double doors
small monorails dumping clothes

>>31
was that a haiku

I dreamt that I was a student at a special-ed school. Our teacher was cute and I was slightly infatuated with her. Everybody else was warm and welcoming and I felt a really strong sensation of belonging.
I don't know how to feel about this dream at all. Realizing that I dreamt I was literally retarded doesn't leave a nice after-taste, but the dream itself was so pleasant.
Maybe I should've been born retarded, then I'd be able to justify my mediocrity, sloth and general pusillanimity.

I dreamed that I was browsing the internet - I think it might even have been DQN I was browsing at the time - and noticed an annoying piece of adware I had a while back had shown up again. "Oh no," I thought to myself, "I thought I'd gotten rid of that!" Then I remembered I had gotten rid of that, and successfully deduced that I was dreaming. Instead of proceeding to have a fun lucid dream, living out fantasies I could never achieve in real life, I unfortunately found that I was simply stuck in one position in front of my laptop, chin on hand, unable to move at all. Then I woke up.

It had something to do with a hamster I used to have. I was holding the hamster and it was squirming around like hamsters do, and I was a bit worried it would bite me, but it didn't. Someone was complimenting how soft the hamster's fur was.

(In before Legend of Raggot references)

There were vampires. The cops were questioning a guy who'd recently turned, he was trying to tell them this isn't what it looks like, then he pulled a shotgun on them.

I had this dream where Freddy Kruger and Pedobear were fighting each other. The winner of the fight was to be declared the worst nightmare a child could ever face.

>>37
So who won?

>>38 I woke up before the fight actually started.

I dreamed last night that the fabled moderators returned to these boards and along with making some site renovations, banned me.

I had this dream where I was playing something that looked like a first person shooter. Unfortunately, no matter what button I pushed on the controller, I could only shoot arrows or throw tomahawks.

Today I have dreamt that I'd stroll through a huge shopping mall.

When suddenly a businessman, obviously in a hurry but so determined and steeled by many years of doing business appeared professional, if not even slightly unfriendly. He said he's in dire need of an USB stick and if I had one to give to him.

I said i ahve one, but it's 32GB and filled with data, save 1 GB. I appealed to him not to go through my data, although I know, I said, that he could still do it. I wrote my email address on a piece of paper while saying: I am not from here, so you'll have to mail it to me. Doing you a favour I hope for a kind return. incidentally I am a student and looking for part-time work in entry-level engineering or business, if he could offer him something?

I gave him the stick and my email-paper. He complained that the "i" dot was too far to the right to be readable and quickly walked to some stairs upward, presumably where he'd do business of some kind.

Then I dreamed that I'd accompany a friend to an interview. I'd wait in a room with other people, reading a magazine. I wore a marriage ring, but even though it was a dream I knew that I only wore it to project some maturity, success in life and to shield myself from being chatted up by young people. My friend than entered the waiting room and told me he wants to show me something: it was a new poster with his face on the side and a silly quote he made during the interview. Above it "We congratualte our newest colleague for joining our team!". I found it to be a funny gesture. Then a medical doctor approached us, saying he'd like to discuss the results with my friend. I said I'd wait for him downstairs.

I woke.

I was part of some project to colonize the sea floor and everything looked kind of like that underwater level on Manaan in Knights of the Old Republic, and then something about Koreans and some kind of alarm was going off. I dunno, I woke up halfway through it.

>>43
I think by definition you woke up at the end.

>>44
What if his dream continued without him? All the Koreans standing around in expensive costumes looking nervously for a prompter. "He woke up, what do we do now?" "Can we just reuse the backdrop for the next one?" "Maybe he'll come back, just wait a few more minutes." "Somebody, turn off that alarm!"

I dreamed that a female friend of mine was tickling me. She was wearing a skirt and after she successfully tickled/wrestled me to the floor, I noticed she wasn't wearing any underwear (or very skimpy one, maybe a micro-string) and I think I began to press my face into her vagoo.
I woke up before it escalated.

An attractive blond young woman cuddled with me. I held on her waist, which felt wonderful through the soft and fluffy plastic sweater she was wearing.

I was driving down a four-lane street. Suddenly I found I had to make a left down a side street, but I was in the right lane of my side of the road. Instead of waiting to pass or proceeding down the street and making a u-turn, I cut straight across the left lane and ran into the fronts of two other cars. I ripped the hood off of one somehow.

After considering whether I should just drive off, I stopped and got out, thinking things would go badly for me if I just left. The confrontation with the other drivers went badly. They weren't yelling at me or anything, as you'd expect in real life. In the case ofthe couple driving one of the cars I'd hit, the husband was silent, and his wife (who I judged was the one driving) seemed weirdly delighted that I'd sideswiped her. She started talking about how I'd be paying for her next home improvement and her daughter's college tuition. I started really fuming at her and told her that, if I did have to pay for anything, it sure as hell wouldn't extend beyond the damage to her car.

After that I woke up. I was still almost yelling as I awoke and was throwing my fists and arms in the air. It took me a few seconds to realize I hadn't really gotten into an accident.

>>44
I think it'd be more apt to say I was "woken up".

>>45

> What if his dream continued

The dream collapses in a stupidly overblown way like in Inception and all the korean people drown to death.

I had a really weird dream where I was watching a movie in the cinema and then it stopped and some cute girls that sat nearby performed a musical act from it on stage (???) and then they were wearing cute fursuits (partial: heads, gloves, boots – ?!) and then some other fursuitters joined (full suits?!?!) and then the movie resumed and I complimented those girls as they returned to their seats. Then I was walking down the street in my hometown, drinking a green coloured soda drink in a transparent bottle through a straw. I sat down on some railing. Then I met a German guy who turned out to be Japanese and he had a fursuit packed in a slim (?!) backpack.

I had a dream where I had a HUGE dick. Then I woke up and was severely disappointed.

I had a dream about getting malware. My computer had a weird virus that redirected all my searches to some ad-infested search engine and there were ads in my browser history whenever I would start to type a URL.
I woke up and turned on my computer to find that I didn't actually have any malware.

I dreamed I had moved to Japan, and when I went to the bank to open an account the teller was a really cute and nice girl who spoke perfect English. She taught me how to make Japanese curry (there was a fully equipped kitchen behind her desk for some reason) and wanted to introduce me to her daughter and then some reporters came and started taking pictures and interviewing people about something, and then I woke up without even having gotten to open my bank account.

>>54
The first half of your dream could be a commercial

Many years ago, a schoolteacher of mine was a health fascist. He scared all of us from even questioning his ideas.

15 years later, I researched where he lived, so I could call him a coward for intimidating 8th graders.

I discovered he died prematurely, and I enjoyed discovering that more than I am supposed to enjoy it.

I dreamtI had been setup as a school shooter by CIA agents masquerading as legitimate employees of various institutions. One of those fuckers made me drink my own piss while I laying in bed at the hospital. The creepiest part about the whole ordeal was that I could actually taste the pee. WHAT THE FUCK, right?!?

I dreamed I went to an offline meetup with people I know from IRC, but that their real forms were just floating text with names attached in meatspace as well.

>>58
Last night I dreamed I got banned from here and was considerably more distressed than I would have expected.

I was back in middle school gym class, and we were playing dodgeball. I had been hit and was "out", and was sitting in the bleachers. I had to pee really badly but the teacher wouldn't let me go until I finally told him I was about to pee myself. Then when I was in the bathroom peeing, another kid came up behind me and startled me and made me pee all over myself anyway. I got really angry and started slapping and beating him but he just laughed and the harder I beat him the harder he laughed at me. Then I came out of the bathroom and was talking to a girl about glaciers, and she said something about the "eight great glaciers" and I said that there were only seven great glaciers, and she said that a new one had been discovered in the northern ocean and that it was very mysterious, and might even be on a collision course with our town right now.

>>57
How did you know that the taste was piss-taste?

I want to become a cyborg loli and have lesbian lolisex in space.

Oh shit I did not read the thread before posting please ignore >>62 thank you.

I had gone back to my old middle school (which was demolished several years ago) to apply for a job as the principal. Me and the other applicants were writting essays on why we'd be best for the job as part of the application process, when the person overseeing the test told us "no Hanzi!" and I was confused because I had been writing my essay in English and don't know any Chinese anyway, so I stopped to ask the instructor what she meant but while I was talking to her about it everyone got ahead of me and I never finished my essay. Also, one of the people taking the interview with me was a girl I haven't seen since elementary school whose dad was also the prinicpal at the school we both went to. I haven't seen or even thought about her in probably fifteen years but I was able to perfectly remember her name and face in my dream.

I was sitting with Hideo Kojima on a rocky outcropping overlooking the sea, and we were drinking vodka mixed with yellow highlighter fluid so our drinks glowed in the dark. There were fireworks but they were spelling out words in pixel letters.

Then I went inside a nice house and everyone inside was drinking glowing vodka too but it didn't glow as brightly because the lights were on. Someone came back from the store with a plastic bag and proceeded to unload way more bottles of alcohol than could have conceivably fit in said bag.

I put one of the bottles on the floor and then woke up.

I dreamed that Bashar al Assad had moved into my apartment complex and was very physically scary, he would eavesdrop on people using listening equipment and threaten them with things he had heard and had a couple big mean dogs and when he talked he used that kind of perfectly enunciated autistic serial killer English that made you think that you would be in a garbage bag at the bottom of a lake soon.

I was inside my car on the parking lot of my high school when suddenly there was an earthquake. First it was trepidatory, but then it became oscillatory and then the earth under me was tilting, so my car was sliding around the parking lot and crashing against all the other parked cars, and I was unable to control it.
After a minute, it stopped. I stepped out of my car to see the damages. Then a curious schoolgirl approached me to see how much damage my car had suffered and after studying it for a bit, she recommended me a body shop to fix my car.

I knew keeping a dream jounal would help me shitpost one day

I am in my highschool's indoor fieldhouse, It's surrounded by a hallway on three sides, and the hallway has no entrances or exits, except those leading into the fieldhouse. There is some sort of dance going on, and everyone is dressed nice. I'm with a friend but quickly lose him. There is an announcement for a "pink dance" and everyone is in a conga line and suddenly in tight, pink 80's clothes. I'm walking the opposite direction that the congaline is going, look around, and notice that we're surrounded by ocean. I look over the edge at the platform we're on and see lots of thick cords and wires, the more I look the telephone and computer stuff I see. I start walking around, and one time I pass a pissed off janitor pulls a bundle of wire out of the ocean and says [piece of equipement] my ass!

>>68
anybody else keep a dream journal

>>69
I used to, but I stopped. I should start again.

I was the Japanese team leader of a Rising Storm match and all the riflemen kept running around suicide-nading everything while micspamming "ALLAHU ACKBAR!".

( ﾟ -ﾟ) it wasn't very different from a normal, non-dream round.

I often dream about being naked in public. Sometimes I'm embarrassed and try to hide, sometimes I'm not sure whether I should be embarrassed, people's reactions vary and I kind of half-heartedly try to hide, and sometimes I don't give a fuck and neither does anyone else. There's never anything sexual about it and I don't have any particular desire to get naked in public irl. I think it has something to do with being comfortable with my own identity.

I went with my father to the top of a very tall hotel building. I had heard rumours of cultish activity, which would explain the cheap room rates, but I had never taken it seriously.

We received some kind of weird electrical device that seemed like a Lenovo tablet, but seemingly with custom firmware. We ended up at some kind of cult meeting and my dad looked suddenly brainwashed. I thought there must be something in the air, or some kind of electric signal from the device.

Fortunately I was immune, so I hurried back to my room to try to hack the device, but I found there was an alarm system on it and I was worried the alarm would go off and the cult would find and kill me. I was about to go online and post asking for help on 4-ch but suddenly my dad was there along with a sinister young man repeatedly sticking a needle into my forehead and saying, "Tranquilizer. Tranquilizer. Tranquilizer." Every time he said it I got sleepier and sleepier...at first I struggled, but then thinking quick, I pretended to be totally knocked out, letting my body go completely limp, and he stopped stabbing me.

I lost consciousness for a bit, but soon regained consciousness earlier than they had probably intended. I was in a room with a mirror in front of me. I could see in the mirror that nobody was immediately behind me, but I could hear a man talking in the next room. I looked around for weapons and decided on a large heavy flower pot. There was another man like me in the room helping me for some reason at this point, so he took the pot and went into the next room to smash our captor over the head, giving me a chance to escape.

Things didn't go as planned. The man came into the room, and instead of smashing him over the head, my partner in crime just tackled him to the ground, seeming too scared to actually kill him. So I grabbed a pair of scissors and slit the captor's throat. He continued to talk about cult stuff in disgusting gurgles even as blood, bile and his stomach contents squirted out of his neck hole.

"Oh god, now I've done it," I thought, then I woke up.

I dreamed that I was in Australia and I was trying to establish a city. I wanted to name the city Salzburg just so I could get people to confuse Austria and Australia.

I dreamed that I worked for one of the television news channels. I was investigating to see if cram schools and private schools led to premature death or becoming a mental hospital patient.

I'm late to work because I was having this fucking awesome flying dream at a seaside resort on another planet and kept dropping back into sleep to enjoy it.

Some scientists, one of whom sounded like Liam Neeson, took over my top floor studio apartment to test some high tech ant killing gear. I found out about the experiment when walking up there with a chicken Caesar's salad. They rudely grabbed my salad and spread it all over the floor as bait, and, as if on cue, ants poured out of cracks and holes in the wall and rapidly flooded the place. As I booked out of there, they were flying little toy RC drones around with tiny freezing gas guns blasting away at the rivers of ants on the walls and floors.

I dreamed that I was playing F-Zero for the SNES, but it was next to impossible.

I was then told that the guys who created Kaizo Mario ROM hacks decided to start hacking other SNES/SFC games.

I was with a friend and my boss and we were driving to my friend's two story house. In the house, my boss went to a small back room where the flooring was gone and there was just concrete and various industrial trash. My boss then began telling us how him and some people from his past had put 30 grams of marijuana into a single brownie. My friend asked if my boss could get him some brownies. My boss looked offended and said no. I gave my friend a nudge to indicate I could hook him up. And my boss winked at me to show he knew what i was up to. We left and my boss became a robot girl at some point. She was taking commands while my friend was driving. I told her to imagine Barack Obama fingering his anus. She sat there in silence supposedly imagining it, so I told her to express how horny it made her. Then she began to moan very loudly, so I told her tone it down and begin describing what she was thinking.

I was getting prepared for an elaborate and time-consuming Coming of Age ceremony that had an oddly 50's Americana quality to it. There was choral singing, match making and a formal dance involved. While two fairly mousy girls were suiting me up in a garishly colored tuxedo and tacky jewelry, I flipped out, ran out of the building and jumped on a flying motorcycle and blew the fuck out of there, but not before grabbing a bulky, overly elaborate wind instrument that looked like several different-sized saxophones welded together. Flying police motorcycles were chasing me and then I woke up.

A lot of stuff happened, but all I can remember is that me and my mother were sitting at one of those small café patio tables drinking wine and I was explaining the significance of the number four in Chinese culture to her.

I remember encountering Alex Jones. I told him that people who build mind control machines have heard of tinfoil hats for many years. Their solution was to build a machine that uses tinfoil hats as an amplifier, much lite a satellite dish.

I also remember jokes about making hats out of copper because tin and aluminum have already become too common.

I was recording a short video at the beach with two other friends of mine. One was holding a piece of plywood with a picture of Noriaki Kakyoin drawn onto it by a five year old. The other one was humming part of the soundtrack for Stardust Crusaders. I dunked my left forearm in paint and started to record myself punching a hole through the plywood plank while screaming KORE GA ZA WARUDO DA

Then I woke up.

I wanna make that video now.

I went out to dinner at a pizzeria with MC Ride as the head chef. People kept asking about their meals and he would poke his head out and rap a response.

In the dream, I was trying to remember the details of another dream where I had to clone myself and apparently harvest the clone for spare parts so I could go on living, but I had to hide the clone from everyone since cloning was illegal, so I'm wandering around with my clone in a duffel bag and in the dream I kept flipping between that never happened and when did I do that and I asked somebody in the bus station if anybody had won the powerball yet and woke up.

I was reading an illustrated picture book version of Lolita. I happened to open the book at a part where the protagonist convinces Dolores to ride a bicycle in the nude.

I dreamed that humans went through metamorphosis, and the first stage was a tiny red buglike thing. A relative came to visit me with her newborn bug baby. While she was in another room I dropped it and couldn't find it.

My coffee filter had shrunk.

I was in the passenger seat of a car and my mother was driving, she was on her cell phone arguing with my grandmother because her and my grandfather (who is dead but I guess he was alive in my dream) wanted to move to Guatemala and become tomato farmers. My mother kept telling my grandmother (who is 75) that since she was pregnant she had to think of the baby. I was trying to tune them out and look out the window, but every time I looked up I saw Ron Paul waiting to cross the street, wearing a military dress uniform and holding an American flag folded into a triangle (like they give to the families of dead military veterans) and looking really despondent.

I was eating my (non-narcotic) medications like candy, on accident. I'd forget whether I'd taken one for the day when I went to the bathroom. Then because they taste slightly nice (true irl) and I don't have any candy in the house (also true irl) I'd just take another one and chew it up and eat it (ordinarily one would swallow without chewing).

I don't wanna spend money on candy still though.

A Latvian woman was telling me a joke:
A grandma is hanging out with her kids and counting: "97, 98, 99, 1, 2, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3..."
One of the kids goes: "Grandma, why did you stop counting up?"
And grandma goes, "Well, I'm not playing a fucking gig!!"
It was funny in my dream.

>>91 Brilliant, I hope you don't mind if I tell that joke at parties!

Brenden Fraser was a slave of Robin Williams who controlled Brendan with a knife that has red energy coming from it. Brendan had had enough and got his own non magical knife and attacked Robin. They were around a large tree that Robin Williams was hiding behind. Brendan stabbed Robin's knife from around the tree which drained all the magic powers. Brendan used his newly gained powers to cause Robin Williams to be wrapped up in film (like from a reel) from head to toe in a Hellraiser fashion and slowly squeezed until crushed to death

Someone had come up with the idea of using dead bodies to generate electrical power to replace fossil fuels. In practice this involved shoving leads up the anuses of human remains.

Myself and a couple friends were going through a series of dungeon-like rooms with deadly challenges. We came to the Sun Room and entered cautiously, guns at the ready. To our surprise, it was just a bare room with a carpet lit by sunlight through curtained windows. I had a sense of great danger.

Suddenly, the carpet started moving, and trying to knock us off our feet!
"Get off the carpet!" I shouted, and we struggled to escape as the carpet continually knocked us down. Eventually I made it to the edge, off the carpet, and thought, "Given it's the sun room, I bet we have to let the sun in to burn this carpet."

I struggled to open the curtains as my team managed to make the carpet fold back on itself over and over. Eventually the carpet had folded over until it was about the length of a person, so one of my teammates laid down on it to flatten it completely. Meanwhile, I was finally able to untie the curtain knots and pull open the blinds, and let the sun come streaming in. But it had no effect.

"We need to flatten it more!" shouted my friend, who was struggling to stay on the bucking carpet. I rushed over to help, and noticed some writing on my friend's body. It was a secret message from a man who had told us not to enter these dangerous chambers. I tried to read and decrypt it, it said we would be forced to face our greatest fears, and then said something cryptic about St. Matthew's Cathedral. I couldn't understand the clues. That's when my great-aunt showed up with a Christmas ornament of a cathedral.

"No, no, no, this isn't helping at all!" I said. Then I looked up and realized: my great-aunt had come through the door on the other side of the room. It had been unlocked the whole time.

This whole room was just a distraction. There was a bomb in the next room, about to go off. I could hear the beeping getting faster and faster. I started to rush over, but I knew it was too late. I turned back around and tackled my friend, shouting "I love you!!!" Then we all exploded.

A strange incident of forgotten particulars, possibly demonic in nature, occurred in a workplace. After the incident, all the workers misspelled every word when they wrote or typed.

Shinku, from Rozen Maiden, possessed a laptop which then started moving around the table trying to kill people.

I dreamed that I was about to have sex with a beautiful woman, but I couldn't get an erection. I then asked numerous men if they could sell me one Viagra pill. Nobody had any Viagra or some similar drug.

I gathered I was on training to go into space, so I updated my Internet Profile job title to say "NASA Space man" and, after receiving a glare, reluctantly added "in training".
Then I made a life-size bronze statue of Bender sitting in a bean bag with an almost-depleted cigar, and someone asked me "Did Moe Szyslak marry the pig, or just buy it?" over Quora. To refresh my memory, I walked down the street and looked down an alley to see Moe with his pig. I don't think I ended up answering the question.

>>100
hey

I was driving in what looked like NYC even though I live across the country. I saw a black girl on a motor cycle so I smiled at her and she smiled back. I put down my windows and told her I want to see her again and she felt the same way. Despite not exchanging any information she showed up at my apartment and then we had some dinner and chill. We had to cut the chill portion short and get dressed because there was someone at the door. It was my friend and under a large blanket a 6 or 7 year old kid that was apparently the little brother of this guy I knew a long time ago. They arrived at the door independently from each other but happened to arrive at the same time. The kid was some kind of retard not really talking and sitting on my coffee table under his blanket. I had to maneuver the girl out of the house without my friend seeing her so he wouldn't tell my girlfriend which led to a Benny Hill meets Scooby-Doo scenario. He also got me some kind of plate set.

I was presented with a small maze-like arena, and had to defeat a rush of thousands of enemies of the same type (I could choose before they came out, and kept changing it from the default of goblins to spiders). I tried to make it easier for myself by balancing on the walls so they couldn't reach, but it was actually harder because I'd keep falling out, which reset the challenge without despawning all of the current enemies, and subsequently falling in, which meant I was overwhelmed with more enemies than there were supposed to be and could only get back on the walls by losing.

Anyway, at some point I decided to play it straight and it wasn't so hard. Then the boss with three health bars came out. It was a giant blue blob about five times larger than me. It was the basic pattern of boss runs at you, you jump out of the way at the last moment, boss bashes its head on the wall, stun, hit, repeat. After the first health bar, it hardened and became incredibly difficult to harm, until I realised I had more weapons than just the second red gun from Jak 3. I don't think I defeated it though, and woke up with the same feeling as after a nightmare, except it wasn't particularly nightmarish.

I am releasing this dream to the public domain if anyone wants to make an incredibly generic adventure game.

My niece was pupating in a big white, filmy chrysalis. She came out as just a slightly larger version of herself.

>>96 those kinds of girls aren't worth it. Trust me.

I lost my cat in the house again. Just turned up nonchalantly as if she hadn't gone missing for the past several timespans. Cats.

I was talking to my friend who is chinese and something made me really angry and I said a chinese swearword real damn loud and I didn't know what it meant but she did

Mr. Rogers was still alive, and he was chasing me with a shotgun through a big scary house with independently rotating floors out in the middle of a huge wheat field. No idea why he was mad at me.

I was riding my bike around town doing errands when I got lost and somehow ended up on the highway. I pulled over to the shoulder to look at the GPS app on my phone but it turned out not to be my normal smartphone but an old flip phone. So I tried to call my dad and ask him for directions but he wouldn't pick up. I sent him an SMS instead but he would only answer me with something about how the current price of green peppers was at an all time high and now was the time to invest. Then an army dressed in vaguely Soviet-esque uniforms overran the highway and made me and all the people in cars their prisoners.

I only remember the very end of it, but here's a dream I had the other day.

It appeared very much like a movie, with the "camera" angles being like that and everything. A middle-aged woman was escorting a couple of young people around, hiding them from something. It too place during a Trump presidency. The part that I remember, near the end before I woke up, had the woman and the young people hiding in a movie theater, blending in with the crowd. Everyone else in the theater was wearing a Trump MAGA hat, except they were all medium-light blue instead of red. At some point, the woman got a phone call, and during the course of this call it was revealed that the young people she was escorting were tax evaders. All the other people in the theater heard this, and immediately restrained the woman+guests and called in the authorities to execute them. I woke up right before the actual execution took place, but it was going to be a beheading and was being held right there in the theater, only a few minutes after the authorities arrived.

My younger brother had a 2" tall baboon in a cage. It was hopelessly aggressive, and I told my dad it was probably a bad idea to have a wild ape in the house, no matter how small it is. He agreed, but went back to reading the paper instead of doing anything about it.

Some youngish (13-15 or so) kids and I were having a gunfight in what appeared to be a hardware store. Apparently it was for a school project, the teams were divided up by sex and there was someone who looked like a teacher at the door. I got there late so when it came time to issue me a weapon they only had an old revolver for me. I ducked behind a display and started shooting at the girls, when one of the girls outmaneuvered me and put her gun to my head demanding I become her prisoner. Instead I quickly spun around and pistol-whipped her across the face and shot her while she reeled. The boys seemed to think it was a great move but the girls erupted in protest about how it was unfair. That was the point where I woke up.

I met a group of beautiful people in a moonlit park.

i was walking down a dark street when two people walking ahead were discussing a topic of interest to me (i forget what)
i interjected only for it to turn out that one of them was a friend who randomly stopped talking to me a few months ago, who immediately acted like we were friends again
for many minutes i had to stop myself replying with anything that indicated i was upset they stopped talking to me in the first place and unsure if i wanted to speak again because i hate conflict.
the second person evidentially disappeared and i can't remember what happened next.

they still don't talk to me.

Donald Trump decided he wanted to have sex with my grandmother. I taped up a pillow so he wouldn't hit his head while they were banging so hard, and in exchange he gave me a $73 check. I tried telling a friend of mine about it later but she was distracted because she was being stalked by ghosts.

Recently I have had nightmares about tax collectors. I have paid my taxes on time, but I still have dreams about tax collectors chasing me or doing horrible things to me.

I had a dream about Ben Garrison.
It was a very, very bad dream.

My dream had no plot, it was a lot of harsh noises and flashing colors. A lot of voices from people that stress me out, and I felt my regrets and shortcomings fall upon me. I woke up in a bad mood with a headache, which wasn't nice because I live on my mom's couch and she's been getting ready for work very loudly because she's upset with me. I had dreams like this often, does anyone have any input on why I might be having these dreams?

Some grill from an engineering department wanted me to explain to her what a reproducing kernel Hilbert space was and I was like nah

>>118 it might be because you live on your mom's couch.

I mean, I don't know your situation, but that's not usually a thing to be proud of.

>>120
I'm definitely not proud of it, but I got out of a very bad personal situation and lost my full-time job, house, friends, and all. My mom is only letting me stay here for a short amount of time until I get all my pieces together. Regardless, these dreams have been happening for a few years now, in cycles.

>>121 Been there... what to do is bring a prostitute home and fuck really loudly on the sofa, your mom will find a new respect for you, and get ready for work more quietly

I was on a walk with my father through a freshly ploughed field, when a butterfly landed on his head. I said "Wow, it's a Camberwell Beauty!" to which he replied "Don't be stupid, it's obviously a Black-veined White." I thought that's ridiculous; they look nothing like one another and my father knows nothing about butterflies anyway, but when I looked back at it he was right and I felt very stupid.

I was trying to kill a door-to-door salesman named Carlos with my shotgun that I have in trunk of my car, but I was trying to avoid having him find out that I was about to kill him. While he was doing his sales pitch in my room, I was thinking of ways of getting to the car without raising suspicion. I finally told him that I'd buy some of his merchandise if we went out to get my wallet from the trunk of my car. When I moved some stuff around and got out the firearm, he took a shotgun of his out out from his trunk (luggage). The tension kept rising until Carlos' homies started rushing the parking lot which prompted me to grab the rifle and ear plugs out of my trunk (vehicle) and try to take them out. Now the reason I hadn't already shot Carlos before his homies poured into the area was because I was not wearing any hearing protection and feared I'd damage my hearing. I took out his hombres leaving Carlos. I can't remember the rest, but I hope I got that bastard good.

I dreamt that I was constantly losing things and that everyone could see I was losing things to the point where people would follow me around to pick up the things I was losing and then I woke up at 6 AM and couldn't fall back to sleep.

There were other parts I couldn't remember, but I was in my living room (it wasn't my actual living room but the living room of the house I lived in in the dream I guess) very late at night, talking to a desolate-seeming German guy. The reason he was so upset was because it was New Years day of 2014(in my dream, but I just had the dream like an hour ago), and 2013 had come and gone completely without any kind of earth-shattering event happening. He said that, and I said something like "well that's true every day, the only reason I'm alive today is cause no one killed me yesterday. Right?" That seemed to comfort him but after that every time I would try to say something else to him my mom would answer from the other room, thinking I was talking to her and not to the strange German in the living room. I yelled at her that I was talking to our guest and not her and she came into the living room and we started arguing and when I looked over the German fellow was gone and I woke up.

I dreamed I joined the high school wrestling club and then Billy Herrington came to our club and made me suck his dick. He came in my mouth and it kind of tasted like beef broth.

I had this dream where I made an agreement with a competitive eater. I agreed to pay her $1000 to film her for 24 hours a day for one whole week after the event. I also negotiated a deal to sell the film, but I was only able to get $100 for it.

I was watching a show about someone in high school. He was trying to join the soccer team so that he could get close to the female goal keeper during during team pictures. Then I was him. I asked the photographer about whether the goalie would even be taking pictures at the same time, but she was more interested in getting me to pick between two flavors of green Gatorade. I sampled both bottles for a while, then they turned into bowls of vegetables, then rice. I made a decision and the photographer was kind enough to let me keep both samples. I left to go home.

I was being badgered by a fellow I didn't trust the look of while walking home. He was asking a lot -- my name, where I lived, other things you wouldn't tell a stranger -- but I answered everything truthfully, as you would in a dream. I didn't let him know of my home when we got to it (we walked along while talking, like the strangest of friends) and I carried on with him, planning to peel off later and circle back around.

A friend of his joined us. Light-haired and a little skittish. He seemed nice. He stopped and gestured as we passed an alley, appparently recognising the three dark-clothed lads there. It got violent, but my first acquaintance was unusually strong. He threw one of them on top of the nearby bins with a single punch to the jaw. The other two met a similar fate, and we checked their wallets. Within one were several photos of me, some from my childhood, all unsettling. I somehow knew these three were hired to deal with me, but didn't know why. I took the photos and hid the wallet under the guy taking a nap on the bins. Time to go home.

My apartment was three floors up in a five-storey building with no elevator. Panicked, I took the stairs two at a time, not counting the floors, and ended up with nothing more to climb. What? I should have recognised my door by now. I went back down. Pinned to my door was an eviction notice, but dated several months old. How long had I been out? More worryingly, it was messily covered in white-out and marker. Reason for eviction redacted. Issuing office redacted. Even the signature. Time to leave.

My escape was reversed when I heard a pair of smart shoes walking up the stairs, and the light-haired friend convincing them that going straight to the fifth floor was a better idea than checking any of the doors on the third floor. Thanks, but no thanks, because my apartment was locked, this guy coming after me already knew that, and the landing didn't exactly leave anywhere to hide. As quietly as possible, I strode back up the stairs, but the sound of footsteps only intensified.
I caught glimpses of the smartly-dressed official through the banister. He had a gun. I had a plan, sort of. I waited halfway up the final staircase as he ignored the third floor. If I could somehow get behind him, I could be on my way out before he knew what was going on! He was halfway to the fourth floor, so I readied my plan by, uh, climbing over the handrail. Landing on stairs from a one-and-a-half floor drop shouldn't be too hard, right? Fourth floor. Now or never. I took a breath, let go of the handrail, and woke up.

I was working at the top floor of a tall office building that had windows on the roof. Suddenly, I heard a loud tapping on the roof. A giant fucking red ant (like maybe twenty feet long and apportioned otherwise like a normal ant) was tapping its legs on the glass. Everyone else in the room I was working in lost their shit and started screaming, and people started to escape down the stairs to the bottom floor while I debated whether to stay in the building out of a fear that there would be more giant ants outside.

Next thing I knew I was watching the news in a house that I recognized as home, even though it looks nothing like my own home. As it happened, animals all over the world had grown to massive sizes somehow and many were attacking and killing humans. I got in my car and started to drive to find my family in a nearby city and sped past a giant bear and a series of massive insects. As I drove by the coastline, I noticed that huge waves were hitting the shore and that the ocean seemed to be rising.

Finally, I someone ended up with a group of strangers (who I assume were also fleeing the chaos) in what they described as a "safe place" - a beautiful piece of country, rolling hills and everything, the sun setting in the distance. There were no giant animals around. Just before waking up, I wondered how long we'd survive in this place before dying of starvation or being killed by invading animals or waves.

>>128
That's a pretty roundabout scat fetish onii-chan.

I had a dream about a baby. I don't remember the details, but there was definitely a baby.

>>132 I'm guilty as charged.

I was visiting the queen. I gave her a tangerine, but it had a tear in the skin so she haughtily threw it in the bin. Then my father and I discussed the political situation on Mars.

>>135
what a fucking queen.

So after I skimmed through the post about lucid dreams in the post your thoughts thread, I went back to sleep. First my dream was about meeting up with some friends to go to the movie. I got to the theatre, but for some reason, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't park within the lines. I realized I still had some time left before my friends would arrive (it was ?:10 and my friends were arriving at ?:30), so I gave up and went to a nearby gas station to get some snacks.

While looking for a parking spot, I realized I had accidentally entered the store with my car. It was really embarassing until I realized that would be impossible and that I was actually just on feet. I looked for some dr. Pepper, but I couldn't decide if it was normal to buy a 2 liter or a 20oz for individual consumption. I realized that was a stupid question and I only needed a 20oz. So I got it and a small bag of garditos.

By the time I went to check out, the line had gotten too long. So I left without buying, and went to get a hotel. Once I was in my hotel room, I kind of understood that I was in a dream. I heard some faint barking, and I wondered if my dog irl was barking at someone out the window. That's when I decided I wanted to fuck someone in this dream. I left the hotel room, which was now located in some neighborhood. There was a nice house across the street. I walked towards it, and I looked at everything and thought about how real it all looked. I hoped I wouldn't wake up, and I hoped that I wasn't wrong that it was a dream and that I'm not about to invade someone's actual home (although I was pretty sure it was a dream).

I entered the house hoping that there would be some women. Of course the first thing I see is an asian father and son. In my dream, I thought to myself that my brain always does this kind of shit. Then I see by the son a mother. She was a bit older, but I'm into asian milfs, so I approach her. She was still smiling while I did this which just confirmed for me that I was in a dream. I pull down her shirt to see her somewhat small boobs and I begin sucking. Then after doing that for a while, I woke up.

A bully from my childhood had a mental breakdown in front of me while waiting for a massage in an airport waiting lounge.

I was at work. I was very tired and couldn't focus on anything. My boss started talking about something on the inside of my mouth, and then she reached in with some sort of tool and started scraping it away. I noticed that she was suddenly very ugly. I left work and started driving away from my house. It was dark and my eyes wouldn't stay open. I turned on the headlights, and that helped a little. I came to the first stop sign, pulled out to the middle of the road, and noticed another car coming, but I didn't have the energy to back up.

I was at some kind of political rally. It turned out to be a bunch of people supporting Vegeta from DBZ for president. They later found out that he was ineligible to be president since he is a space alien and not born in the US.

I remember I sold a book called "Hangul For Men With Yellow Fever" and I was on tour signing autographs. Guys were sharing all kinds of stories of success with Korean women.

I saw some big bullshit

I was moving into a new house. It was a large, old, two story farmhouse in a forested area, overgrown with ivy. I was late and all the good rooms had already been taken because I found a tiger at the front gate and stopped to give it a tummy rub.

Remember the "Guess that Pokemon" segment on the TV show?

Somebody created a similar segment called "Guess that Touhou"

When the image was filled in by about 50%, I said Reimu and I was right.

>>141 Write that book and I'll buy it.

I remember flying, and the closer to the ground I was, the faster I could go. I was rocketing along these grassy hills, and then got on a highway and brought myself down to half a centimeter off the road and almost broke the sound barrier when I had to suddenly climb to avoid traffic. I ended up about 20 stories up and barely able to go forward. It was frustrating.

I dreamt I was in a simulation which was oxymoronic

I was working on paving a driveway when someone in the house yelled "hey (*ﾟーﾟ) who's that behind you?" and for some reason I answered in Japanese: "知るか？働かなきゃ！”(who cares? I have to get back to work!). But then my middle school crush who turned out to be a lesbian appeared behind me and was gushing over how it had been so long and we should exchange phone numbers, so we did, and then she gave me a hug that would have been uncomfortably long if it had been from anyone else even though I didn't have a shirt on and I was all sweaty from working on the driveway. Later she kept texting me faster than I could respond about some crap I didn't really care about.

I was playing some strange SNES political simulator game.
first, i was winning with Bill Clinton. i can't actually remember any of the mechanics except it showing their portrait and areas won as results came in. i was playing as bill for a while getting more and more obscene wins, and i think bill's sprite did some strange things like getting really drunk. i blacked out in-dream anyway.

Then when my memory started working again it turned out i had won an election either in 1981 or 1983 as Donald Trump. I can't remember how stylized he was, I think he was thinner but not younger than in our 2016. I won it so well that he even took Cuba as a district or whatever, which is apparently a US state in this alternate universe.

I was in some sort of college library trying to find a bad guy. I took an elevator that was actually a couch four stories up, but when I tried to tilt it to let me down I ended up lowering it again.

I guess I was living in the Scooby Doo universe, as a lot of it was run down and severely depopulated, and it was always dusk. I moved around from empty apartment to apartment as I worked for some agency doing something I can't remember. What I do remember clearly is I had the latest Samsung note phone and every time I picked it up, I'd accidentally bend it and the screen would crack all over, and it pissed me off that Samsung would build such a fragile product and sell it for $700.

Also, when it cracked, a thick crystal-clear gel-like fluid would seep out of the cracks.

>>150
Hey, I dream about accidentally breaking phones too. Weird.

take various chicken parts
add to pan with vegetables
add spices
bake
transfer contents of pan to large pot with rice and water
boil
eat

whups i thought this was the current thoughts thread

vc: hebe

>>151
I hate those dreams. Oddly, I've never actually cracked a phone screen yet.

I jumped off a cliff wearing nothing but a dressing gown, and glided around as though it was a wingsuit.

I was being chased by a man who was trying to slit my throat with scissors, although I also had a pair of scissors that I could block his with. I realized that I was inside a video game, specifically a vn set in high school created by 4chan. Also, the school had a team of an alternative sport (name written in unrememberable dream writing but it started with the letter B) which apparently was a meme on /asp/ when the game was made. Playing that game was one of the paths you could take in the game. (I don't think it was the path that I had taken though). But no matter which path you took, you would always end up with the scissors guy chasing you. Eventually, I reasoned that since this was a video game, getting my throat slit wouldn't hurt. At that point I was being chased by a fat teenager who was scissors guy's minion, and he had a wire coming out of his scissors. So, having realized that it wouldn't hurt, I stopped resisting and let scissor minion fat kid prick my throat with his scissor-wire. Then I woke up, but not really. I ran around my house a little while, thinking of it as also fake and a video game. Then I woke up for real.

What do you think it means? It seems rather Gnostic to me...

There was a music festival coming up, and as a promotion Subway was selling special sandwiches based on the songs of one of the bands - each day they had a different sandwich. My friend and were really excited, so we went every day and got every sandwich, but when the festival actually came it sucked. There was only one band, and they only had one show, and they didn't even play any of the songs the sandwiches were based on.

>>150
>>151
>>154
I just cracked my screen. What a bummer.

I had this bad dream where the CP spammer of image boards took over the entire internet.

I had to get to an airport in Cloud City and the only way there was a terrifying curvy road high up in the air. I drove there and decided that next time I would choose a different airport.

There was a movie based on a true story about a large American Christian family that created a worldwide scandal by turning nudist. It was presented as both a comedy and a drama, kind of like Boogie Nights. In an iconic turning-point scene, the whole family had now adopted a daily ritual of climbing up and down a flight of stairs in a circle, intimately embracing each family member as they passed, sometimes kissing them, and asking them some hippy question about how they were doing. It wasn't intended to be sexual but looked pretty bad from the outside.

During this scene, an instrumental hip-hop remix of Final Fantasy "prelude" music played. It was really good and I could swear I had heard it before, but after I woke up I searched all over the internet for something like it and couldn't find anything good.

Anyway, during the staircase scene, a child that was part of the family's booming daycare business stumbled into the unlocked house early. She cried out, "Mommy, what are they doing?" Mommy came in and saw everything, and was appalled. As mommy announced she was going to tell the world and began to storm off, the mother of the Christian nudist family shouted after her, "Sure, go ahead and tell everybody! And forget all about what our family did for the Jewish community during the war!"

I was in a library. In the next room over, Nanahira was signing autographs and I really wanted to go get one and to talk to her, but I was too nervous.

I had a dream I had enough money to buy a case for my phone.

I was in the neighbourhood I grew up in. First, I was at the shop. I can't remember what I was doing there. I walked down the street into a grassy area down the side of the neighbourhood. I was wearing metal roller skates or had a bike or something. [I don't think the dream kept it consistent, it was something "special" though, so don't exist. My memory is fuzzy but I may have stolen them with my father within an earlier part of the dream.]

A kid who lived near me as a kid appeared behind a fence and being a sadistic little child, pointed a cruise missile at me. I ran away until I had reached a wall to a different area of houses which kids used to climb on when he fired the missile. I managed to take one metal thing off, threw it aside and ran again. The missile crashed short of the metal thing in the grass, then flipped onto it's nose. I think I ran into some trees when the engine came back on, but speeding through the grass it lost control and went away.

Then I talked to my father. I can't remember what about, but it was in the front garden of our old house. I walked along the road a bit past some parked cars, and then went up past the houses to a [much expanded from real life] grassy area. Actually, everything was expanded, roads were longer and wider, etc, but everything was in proportion. [so no giant houses.]

I had a dream where I was the star of a movie. This movie was similar to Smokey and the Bandit and Dukes of Hazzard. I drove a 1997 Camaro and a 1987 Mazda RX-7.

I was at some kind of supernatural lake area. There was a giant squid and an unidentified sea monster, but both were frozen in the lake. I drove a semi truck with faulty brakes backwards through the woods for a while before ending up at a girl's house and talking to her through the window. She told me not to offer to take her to the lake, so I didn't, and she looked disappointed. Then she told me not to ask to use her shower. I caught on and asked her. The dream ended with me in the shower.

I had just gotten a new job working directly with the millionaire owner of some nebulous business along with a bunch of suckups. This millionaire dude had a flair for the dramatic, and on hearing that two of his other employees were getting married, put all us newbs to work to make that wedding the most romantic thing possible.

Everyone else put out, hiring the horse & buggy, finding the perfect band, and all that shit. He was elated with all of them, and then asked me what I did. I said, "My job." and pointed to a wall of screens showing off a new, fully automated web security system fending off a huge cyberattack from somewhere in China.

Fucker fired me for not being a romantic like him. I woke up as I was on my way out to burn his mansion down.

I had a dream I was at an arcade, and at the back of the arcade there was a hockey themed slot machine. After using the machine multiple times I won a magical hockey stick. It was a glowing radioactive green, and was incredibly heavy. The next thing I knew I was in a hockey arena, and was playing hockey with the stick. I scored a lot, and all my goals involved me doing some sort of trick. After the game I ate some bad cheese and crackers, and got food poisoning.

I had this dream where I was making fun of Two-Face from Batman comics. I created a Joker with half of Ceaser Romero's face and half of Heath Ledger's face.

I was attacked by a flock of undead geese. They were the Dwarf Fortress variety, that is to say, they were just white "g" characters. They must have been from before the zombie nerf update because they killed me almost immediately.

My dog was sentenced to life in prison for premeditated murder.

I dreamed that I had listened to a song from Batman vs Superman on some streaming site a while ago, and this gave a telemarketer access to my cell number. The caller ID gave him away, but he would say things like, "Hello, is Mr. Anon there? This is his boss. It's urgent." And then when I told him it was me, he said, "Seen Batman vs Superman yet?" and I made fun of him for advertising a failure of a movie. I tried to google it to see if this was happening to anybody else, but my keyboard had pictures of arms instead of letters and I couldn't get the whole thing typed out before waking up. My boss is a woman, too.

My home was converted into a debtor's prison, where I was held for failing to pay a debt that I didn't remember incurring. All the other prisoners were my age or younger. I joined a group of them trying to get through a crowd to put a specifically colored box in a specific place, then the wardens made us sleep outside in the rain.

I was wandering around an office or high school or similar building and met Carlos Santana's daughter, who had one arm and still managed to rock out on electric violin and we talked about some charity she was fronting. While she did that, I wrote out a little jazzy melody that worked with the secret Carlos Santana Chord Changes for her. She loved it. Later in the dream I heard her playing it on Sirius XM and found out she'd make millions off my song and sent me nothing.

I wish I could remember the melody now that I'm awake.

There were so many butterflies in my room that they started forming little piles on the floor.

I lived in a city where instead of bike lanes there were kayak lanes, people would kayak to work and try to catch fish on the way to eat for breakfast.

There was a new AAA Bionicle game released to the public, which I managed to get my hands on. It played a whole lot like Armored Core 4.

I was back in college and was feeling extremely tired and thought about how I still had years ahead of me before finishing, but then I felt the sensation that it was going to be so worth it once I finished, since I would receive my master degree, and also I was actually enjoying studying once again. And despite the long, sleepless night that was ahead of me, I smiled at the setting horizon thinking that what I was doing was good and fulfilling.

Then I woke up and realized that I had a long day ahead doing shit I hate and felt just as tired as I was in my dream but a lot less motivated.

I dreamt I was helping my ex shop for new furniture, and we were looking at TVs, and there was this mad Sega TV for sale; it was pretty big and black, and the back was all chunky ridges a bit like the Japanese Mega Drive cartridges, and it was backlit with dazzling blue light. It had a big Sega logo on the front, as well as big sort of handrails/pipes. I woke myself up saying out loud "so what kind of TV are you looking for" but she wasn't there.

Dad came by and told me he loves me.

Woke up feeling pretty good after that.

There was a baby elephant in the back garden and my dog and it were chasing one another around gleefully.

I was receiving vigorous anal sex while dressed as a girl.

Woke up with an erection.

I dreamed that I was in Manhattan NY. I was in a taxi cab. I was naked and looking for any clothes I could find in the taxi cab. The cab stopped and I woke up at that moment.

I keep dreaming about my ex ( ._.)

I dreamt I was walking through a corridor in a church parish hall. I passed by a room where children musicians were practicing. There was a violinist, a bassist, and a pianist. They weren't virtuosic, but it was very easy to believe they would attain virtuosity in their adult lives. I began to wish, in the way you can only wish against reality in a dream, that I would go back in time and start over with the knowledge that if I only practiced as a child every day, I could have been a good violinist.

I woke up in the middle of my nap to a buzzing sound. When I rolled over, there was a small RC helicopter in the shape of a cube on my bed. I grabbed it and realized that it had been recording me for a while. It tried to get away, so I pressed a button that turned the rotors off, then pressed the button again and let it go. My roommate walked in a few minutes later and I asked him, "Did you fly a drone into my room to watch me sleep?" He said, "Yeah." I asked why. He laughed and said, "Just think of what we can learn!" I wanted to interrogate him further, but he glitched out of the room.

I had a dream my bed was trying to hit on me and had a female text to speech voice and said it was gonna wear lingerie and stuff. And there was like a sexy nightgown thing on laying on the bed.

A game that I backed on Kickstarter in 2012, which drained all of its budget away with poor management and staffing, leaving it funded out of pocket and still not released got a release date announcement trailer.

My apartment building installed some metal grate which could only be opened from the inside and nearly left me locked out.

Then I met the Counter Strike dev team.

I was swimming in the ocean with my family, when I was attacked by a great white shark. It came up from underneath, swallowed me legs-first, and bit in deep around my midriff. Then it dragged me under the surface. I struggled but the teeth were sunk in deep and my movements were somehow sluggish and weak. I realised that I was going to die. Without the slightest hesitation, I just accepted my fate and stopped struggling.

A bunch of pale, lifeless, naked bodies, some covered in blood and most were dismembered, they were lining a house. I was there, and people were taking pictures. I think it was an art exhibit.

I was going to post on DQN but my alarm woke me up before I could make a post. I wonder what I was going to write?

>>193

prolly ''deez nuts lmfao''

I had a dream I hugged a cucumber and then fell down a flight of stairs. Odd.

A dream where I was being choked, then I was humping someone against the locker I had in middle school. Dreams where I'm having conversations that I plan on having in a few days.

I was breakdancing at work, I did the worm.

I had a nice satisfying dream about feeding my dog and doing the dishwasher.

I was at a christmas party at my grandma's house. I was trying to fall asleep on the couch but some loud niggers were there so I went outside to try to sleep on the porch swing but the niggers followed me there. Then I was playing League of Legends and it was being narrated by the loud niggers. In my dream they kept saying that it was LoL but it looked suspiciously like Warsong Gulch from a really old version of World of Warcraft. I'm not sure if the "LoL" match was a dream within a dream when I finally fell asleep in my dream or if it was taking place within the same layer of dream and was just a random venue change.

I've been dreaming a lot about going blind.

I had a dream I was reading a sort of autobiography written by an ex before she killed herself. (She is probably still alive IRL.) It read more like an inventory, and the last thing I remember reading was the first two lines from a section titled "Sexual activity."

I had a dream where I witnessed the creators of My Little Pony ask the staff of DC Comics to give them all epic origin stories.

I wondered how they could do it, given how many origin stories are based on huge tragedies.

A sadistic old cat slipped into my home and would act friendly and then try to bite my fingers off. Meanwhile, a small horde of rapidly mutating bugs were devouring everything in the kitchen and getting bigger by the second.

I woke up while I was out looking for a can of gasoline so I could burn my house down and kill those gross-ass fucks.

ｇａｙ  ｓｅｘ  ｐｌｓ！

I was some kind of Cory Doctrow billionaire character who had nothing to do and just rented things to entertain me but never really held on to anything. I went to New York to see the unveiling of President Trump's first cloned T-Rex.

I remember making a documentary about Chinese women. It was a discussion about fresh off the boat vs westernized women.

A strong breeze picked me up and blew me away like a leaf.

I had a dream where I was at some comic book convention. Someone was selling genuine Usagi Tsukino style school uniforms. I wanted to buy one, but it was $345, and I couldn't afford it.

I made myself a Christmas card full of pictures of my face and posted a short video of it on Facebook:

>"Who could have gotten me this thoughtful card?"
>open card, revealing note from myself

I got a job as a gun runner, but instead of something cool like delivering guns to rebels in Africa or some PMC I would deliver guns and ammo to old people who were too sick to leave their house. They would call me and tell me what they wanted and I would go to wal-mart and buy it and deliver it to them.

I was back in school and had forgotten to study for a computer science test. The test was in latin and I had to conjugate some verbs for some reason but I didn't know how to conjugate them. I knew I was going to get a 29% on the test.

I was playing scrabble with a Japanese girl. She misspelled "Antarctica" as "Anticarpenter".

I remember meeting a group of people trapped in a building. Someone of them said to me "We have to use magic." My response was "Do I look like Harry Potter? I don't know magic."

This enchantress type broad had a guy tied to a big wooden pole on a beach. She was squatting down in front of him, drawing an elaborated pattern in the sand and placing small weird shaped metal objects on the pattern. I suggested to the guy that he not look at the pattern and he said he wouldn't, but all three of us knew he would, so I palmed one of the metal thingies and hid it.

She got all mad about it and chased me around yelling until I woke up.

I was trying to make some kind of light up disc invention. I couldn't get the pieces to adhere together and the lighting implements were too dim and unreliable.

I remember seeing a news video about a revolver with a square cylinder which held 4 cube-shaped bullets. My only thought was "How is that supposed to work?"

dreams about burgs all the time and im vegetarian, or dreams about lolis

While trying to befriend some kittens I happened to meet a childhood friend I haven't seen in years. His imouto hugged me and kissed me on the forehead, and then he and I took a bath together in the hull of a canoe that was at the side of the room while he talked about how hard it is to get a bathtub installed.

>>218

> Dreams about lolis

I'm jealous.

My research group and I were making fresh spaghetti.

I remember being in the passenger seat of a 1996 Corvette. I couldn't see the driver, but I could see that we were going 180 MPH.

I had a dream that I was living with a German family through some exchange program, and that they had a bunch of completely bizarre unspoken rules that they were very strict about enforcing, and that weren't written down anywhere. I'm not talking about the usual stuff you hear from Germany, I mean arbitrary shit like "don't use a computer at specific times of the day", which, come on, nobody is going to be disturbed if I use my laptop in the middle of the day. I can't really remember any specific examples other than that one, but the basic premise in itself stuck with me.

I dreamed that I was sucking my own dick, I sucked really hard and my bladder collapsed. I woke up having to pee urgently.

Mark Zuckerberg was giving a speech somewhere about how awesome globalism is for everybody but white people. He was wearing a pink bunny suit and had grown a fairly obvious hitler 'stache. Someone in the audience, might have been me, yelled "But you're white!" and he got mad and said "NO I'M JEWISH AND RICH YOU IDIOT GET HIM OUT OF HERE" and then continued his speech.

Then I was alone in the back seat of an old station wagon careening dangerously down an empty expressway and thinking I should probably get up front and drive this thing.

My mother told me about a recent piece of research claiming that you should aim to have at least three hugs per day.

I was a high ranking Nazi officer/Hitler's personal pilot. At some point, Hitler wanted to throw a cat out the back door of the plane, and I wrestled with him until he changed his mind. Later we were sitting in a two-seater variant of the Su-47 (with a tiny forward window instead of a proper canopy) and flying to a farm, where he wanted me to meet my future wife. We landed outside the farmhouse but as I approached it, it caught fire, and we helped evacuate the residents.

>>223
I've had dreams like that, except my bladder didn't collapse and I woke up wet and sticky.The worst part was realizing I couldn't actually suck my own dick.

I had a dream where somebody left several snakes outside my front door. They were blue and looked like they had sapphires for scales. I turned around to get away from the snakes, but I found that there were more sapphire snakes behind me. I didn't know where I could go to avoid the snakes and I was afraid of getting a deadly snake bite when I would try to escape.

I was inside a building that needed to be demolished. I didn't have any explosives or heavy machinery, so I had to do something different. I collected several microphones, amps, and big speakers. I pointed the microphones at the speakers, ran from the building, and remotely turned the amp to 11. I didn't see or hear if the building was demolished.

I was reading some french texts that blended into each other, and someone told me: "you are allowed to overcome things"

>>227
You're not missing much except for having a dick in your mouth, and it's not somebody else's. It feels bigger than it looks.

If you want to try, do it at the end of the day rather than just after waking up, and start by letting gravity do the work: lie on your back, then throw your legs over your head, resting mostly on your shoulders with your elbows only propping you up (hands on hips, helping keep your ass in the air if needed), and try to keep your legs close to the floor without touching it. After a few minutes you'll have adjusted to the stretching and will be able to get your dick closer to your face, because for some reason that's what you want. Uncurl yourself slowly. Do this several days in a row for more effect. Don't fart because it might not just be gas with this level of thoracic compression.

In real life last night I saw a pic my ex posted being lovey-dovey with her new boyfriend. Then I had a dream that I met her at a shopping mall. She introduced a nerdy Asian guy and said, "Meet my boyfriend, Wee Ping." I thought "haha, that sounds like small penis!" I woke up within the dream and told her about the dream on Facebook. In response she sent me a picture with a list of the "Top 10 OK things" about our last month together as a couple, alongside a picture of a 2D girl comforting a guy between her boobs. But they weren't just OK things, they were all really sweet and she clearly still had feelings for me. I felt like crying. She demanded I tell her 10 OK things in return. I wanted to do it right then, but my wife was around and I couldn't risk getting caught so said I'd have to reply later.

Then I woke up for real, left with the reality that my ex's new boyfriend is actually super hot, and I'm sure she is not thinking about me nearly as much as I'm thinking about her, even though I'm the married one.

I dreamed that I really needed to pee, but Yui Igarashi was sitting on my legs and said "Not until I give you permission." She said "Igive you permissions now" and she left me alone. I immediately woke up and peed.

>>235
You have dreams about specific JAV actresses? I'm slightly jealous.

I was at a Japanese high school and I was playing basketball with some of the kids out in the yard. For some reason no one found it odd that a white guy in his mid 20s was there, but they all thought I didn't understand Japanese. Later we went inside to watch a video for class and had to sit cross-legged on the floor, I accidentally bumped shoulders with one of the male students and without thinking I said "ah, suman" and suddenly they all started crowding around me like "UWAA SUGOI GAIJIN-SAN HONTOU NI NIHONGO SHABERERU?".

I had a dream where I was in a video game arcade and I was playing the coin pushing machine. Someone left the arcade and forgot to take their tokens from another coin pushing machine. I used those tokens and got a $750 USD prize.

Most dreams I've remembered for the past seven years or so follow the same formula. I dream that I am in some place from when I was much younger, (high school, my dormitory at university, the house I grew up in, etc.). I have to interact with someone somehow - speak to a classmate, send an email to an acquaintance, whatever.

But I left all these things behind because I couldn't stand them. The people I must speak to are always the annoying ones, the emails I must write are always to people I hate.

I think“Haven't I already done this? I already left this behind. I don't want to do this any more.” I wonder if I'm dreaming, but I can't be sure. So I decide to play it safe and do whatever thing I'm supposed to do. After all, if it's real, I must satisfy my societal obligations.

And then I wake up, and I go to my job, and I have to sit next to the fat vegan who laughs too much in a high-pitched voice, and I have to talk to the guy who goes to the gym and thinks he's informed about politics, and I smile politely when everyone won't shut up about the Palestinian conflict. I wonder if this, too, is a dream.

Met up with a bunch of imageboard nerds and it turned out they were all 16-ish instead of twenty-something. They all kept spouting some House related meme.

>>239
I also have had recurring dreams for several years. However, the situation is always me being naked in a crowded city and trying to find clothes before getting arrested for public nudity. I would often use optical illusions used in Austin Powers movies to hide my penis from the public so I wouldn't get arrested.
>>237
I would sometimes dream that I just got off the plane in one of the airports in Tokyo, and some men would ask "Nikushoku Danshi? Soshoku Danshi?" I would always be unsure about how to answer that.

Does any man really care if some tourist is a herbivore man or not? I'm sure there are women who might like to know, but I am not sure if men care if tourists are herbivore men or not.

I had a dream where I was with BBC's Top Gear crew in an Australian desert. We were beating the hell out of cars that we hated. One of the cars that I hated had a robot voice chip in it, and when I crashed the car, the robot voice stopped. It felt really satisfying.

I was in a futuristic dystopia city. My mom and some other people were trying to protest by graffitiing a museum exhibit several times, but eventually they got caught and arrested. I felt like something was suspicious beforehand and bailed, so I didn't get arrested. Doppelgangers of several people were showing up, and my dad's invited me to take a walk and smoke a joint as we tried to figure things out. As we were walking my friend commented on a gangster's murder saw thing. He overheard and threatened me with it. I think there was a rich mermaid.

I was walking up a steep street in my home town. I passed a shop which had printed on the window, in small letters, "NATIONBLOB NATIONS NATIONY".

Everyone in my house was arming up and in a quietly paranoid state, certain that the Enemy (whoever that was) was just outside and about to break in. I snuck out of the house and looked around. Not only was there nobody else around, but there was just a vast empty plain in the unnatural blue moonlight, with the occasional couch or table scattered about. The grass was giant sheets of green crafting felt.

I had a dream where I was having sex with a cosplayer who had huge boobs. She was cosplaying as Sailor Jupiter and she didn't take off all of her costume to have sex, and that just made it even more exciting for me.

I had a dream that every cute girl who ever smiled at me came back and confessed her love. One was my friend's wife and I thought it was pretty fucked up considering my friend was standing right there.

I had a dream I could interpret dreams and I should stop reading introductory guides to Lacan already.

I was an advisor to a king or some kind of nobleman, the land he was ruling over was recently conquered and there was still a lot of unrest and an active insurgency going on. The setting kind of resembled Caesar in Gaul, the king and his men were very "Romanesque" and the conquered people were some kind of tribal forest-dwellers. I was also a member of the conquered tribe and held some secret sympathies for the insurgency but I also felt that the rule of the new king would be for the best. There were some kind of magic users from the tribe that could control animals, and one of them possessed the king's dog and made it do a funny dance and then run off into the forest. I laughed at it when I saw it and the king got offended and almost had me executed for laughing but changed his mind when I reassured him that if they had meant actual harm they could have just made the dog attack him.

Norm MacDonald was racing for Toyota

>>251 That's nothing, I once fucked seven dwarves at once!

I had a dream where I was transformed into a magic girl. My arm magically changed shape and a glove then appeared over it. I was terrified and was glad I was able to wake up.

I received an email to say that I was one of two candidates accepted for interview to an internship. They said that both of us were probably better suited to a career in politics, but they were willing to give each of us a chance. They also wrote that they thought it was very unprofessional of me to have written "I have a big penis" in my application.

>>253
I'd watch it

Had a little fadeout at my desk which involved some knockout black actress sidling up to me, caressing the side of my face and whispering "kick my ass" into my ear as she curled into my lap. Coming to and seeing my computer sitting there waiting for me to get back to work was... disappointing.

I went to some sort of space station that was actually an amusement park. The premise was you went into the sewers to hunt Tyranids. They lowered you in through a manhole cover with two guardsmen and two Space Marines along with weapons and supplies. I wandered around a lot but didn't see any Tyranids but I noticed one of the Space Marines was lost. I was going to look for him but one of the attendants told me all the guardsmen and Space Marines weren't real. So I left the sewers and then I was in the casino part or something like that. I got bored and woke up.

DQN-kun waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were tyranids in the sewers. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warning to (*ﾟーﾟ) were not listenend to, and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.

I was walking past a church and trying to work out some mathematical problem in my head. It had something to do with factorials, maybe about how factorial numbers are distributed? I feel like I was on the verge of discovering some deep mathematical truth when I was rudely woken up.

I dreamed that I replaced everything with a Boston Red Sox or Chicago White Sox emblem with a Shimoneta SOX emblem. Soon afterwards, baseball stadiums were crowded with people wearing the Shimoneta SOX emblem.

>>261
Ir^2

>>261 Freaky, I was thinking about that as you posted it, about feeling close to a great discovery but what is the feeling that you feel when you think you're close to something? I get something like that from huffing nitrous, everything splits and splits and splits and splits to almost infinity, but never quite getting there. Like the distance between fingertips in The Creation Of Adam, or being 0.999999999... and it not really feeling quite like 1. I read a book recently, The Humans by Matt Haig, which is about a professor who cracks the Riemann Hypothesis but is then killed and replaced by aliens, because humans couldn't handle the power that would come from his discovery. Maybe this happens often

Got nuked

I was running late for work and dashed out of the house to find the world in a state of perpetual twilight. I got on a different bus than usual. I didn't recognize the number, but I was in a hurry and pretty sure it was going the right general direction. As I was trying to figure out where the bus was going, a young beautiful Chinese girl grabbed me by the arm and said, "we need to get off here."

I let her pull me off the bus and then saw why she had done so. The walls were about to go up. In the distance, a line of majestic steel walls began to shoot up toward the heavens, accompanied by fireworks. The walls stretched farther than the eye could see, and were tall enough to reach space.

So, this was the new great wall of China. This was a historical moment that I would never forget. I knew these were not walls built to keep out Mongolian invaders, but to protect us from the sun which was increasing to deadly temperatures.

I dreamed that the sickle in the hammer and sickle is actually the tentacle of the Red God that communists worship.

God I fucking wish.

A guy joined an initiatory order devoted to some form of Eastern mysticism. Eventually, he realized that pretending to be a hedgehog was not his final goal, but only the beginning of his journey.

Verif: gobeable

>>270
Gotta go fast?

Tokiko was a guest at my house, but he was very ungrateful. He wouldn't drink any of the beers I had, opting instead to complain about the beverage choices while feeding his Venus flytraps in the corner of the living room.

>>272 I had the same dream! I woke up and my bedsheets were all wet and sticky!

I was hanging out with an old friend, and we ended up in some kind of really laid back military training situation. As the newbie, I was told to go to the end of the line, but everyone was just spread out around this big room, lounging on all sorts of chairs, couches and benches. On a TV, two guys in King Kong and the Lost in Space robot mascot costumes were beating up on each other WWF style.

Blind guy with youtube loading spinners for eyes

I found an apple that had gummi worms in it.

>>271
Yeah my subconscious was likely making a Sonic reference.

I was watching a focus group pre-screening of some new movie. An attractive, blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl was running through an African jungle with a flamethrower. Natives were trying to stop her but she'd just burn them down with the flamethrower, along with any trees and foliage that were in the way. Later on she was back home in some highrise apartment and her friends came to visit, one of them was Jason Alexander. When they asked me what I thought of the movie I said that some people might find the opening scene in the jungle kind of racist and uncomfortable but that what had offended me personally the most was George Costanza out of nowhere.

I was crawling up a grassy hillside with vibrators strewn everywhere, while explaining to someone why I didn't want to emigrate to the US.

I was flying through the air, or more sort of gliding really, jumping from one rooftop to another across a small town on a lakeshore, while wearing the cute frilly dress I bought a few weeks ago. The sun was shining and I felt so light and free. It was genuinely the happiest I've felt in quite a while.

When I woke up, I suddenly realised that everyone below me would've been able to see up my skirt and was quite embarrassed, before remembering that they don't actually exist.

I was a mercenary adventurer travelling with a vampire loli in a fantasy world. She hired me to help her kill her father who was king of the vampires or some shit. She recruited me by saying that things would be better under her, since even though she planned to continue in all the cruelty and sadism of the previous vampire king, it'd be a cute ageless loli doing it and not some old man.

I was bummed out for like 3 hours when I woke up from that dream and discovered that it wasn't reality.

I ran a bath and forgot about it, when I thought "why is the cat running a bath?" I ran upstairs and discovered I'd left all my towels in the bath so they were soaking wet. It was a very exciting dream.

Had a dream I was travelling to china for some reason. When I woke up, I was really relieved that I wasn't going to china, but I'm not sure why.

>>281
This neeeds to be a manga.

I was in some sort of acting crew and for some reason I had been tasked with re-performing Gwyneth Paltrow receiving the oscar for her performance in Shakespeare in Love. I spent a good while trying to get into character and practicing a surprise gasp and tearing up (for which I recieved some strange looks from a couple of passerby).

When it was finally my turn, I put on an extremely poignant performance which left everyone in awe, but when I thanked Harvey Weinstein, I was interrupted. "Did she really thank Weinstein?" I was asked, with an accusatory tone, as if I was taking the issue really lightly, to which I responded "Yeah, I watched the whole thing on Youtube."

some sort of salad with a spicy dressing, can't remember what the ingredients are

DEENK DEENK DEENK

http://4-ch.net/general/kareha.pl/1514910087

Buncha old black dudes with white hair and beards standing around. When I got closer to them, I saw that it wasn't hair, but bubble bath foam.

I was getting people to place a bet on who would win this fight:
Usagi Tsukino
Usagi Jojimbo

I was with at the all-you-can-eat diner with my friend, when he pointed out a stranger with exposed erection, pointing out he had one too. He coaxed the stranger over to our table and the stranger to give him a handjob under the table. He then promptly left giving the stanger a grab on the ass as he left, only to return quickly to give his name to the stranger. I then found myself at dj gig, where the djs were a bunch of black kids. I went to buy some snacks off some guy. Who offered me a piece of paper as well for some reason.

I woke up to find myself paralysed (not through sleep paralysis but through fear of a dark shadow in my room I believe.)

I was a crow, standing in a grassy field. There was a small bundle at my feet, which I unwrapped with my beak to find a battered and slightly dented tin teacup. I picked it up in my beak and then flew downhill towards a river, with the intention of filling it with water. I landed on a narrow concrete walkway on the riverbank, just below a weir, but then saw that the water was an unpleasant greenish colour and had odd little yellow patches of scum floating in it, and decided not to fill my teacup with it after all.

It was a hot, sunny, late August afternoon, the first day of school after the end of summer break. The school was my childhood middle school, but in my dream it was a high school. I get my class schedule for the year and walk around the school for a bit. After that the school day is over and I'm walking home. The road home runs through the more closely packed houses and apartments of the suburbs and all the way to the end of town where the outlying farmlands begin, and where my school is, and despite being fairly busy there's no sidewalk in some places. It was kind of a mix between the street I live on right now and the similar street that led to my childhood school.
I'm walking home and come across a black frog. I almost step on it because it was so well hidden but it hops indignantly out of the way with a loud croak at the last second. Then a skinny, shaggy black dog appears in front of me, standing between a few trees. I notice she looks kind of wild and doesn't have a collar on. I approach cautiously and try to walk past her without alarming her, but she runs over to me, jumps up on its back legs and gently, playfully nips me on my left wrist, then sits down and cocks her head at me. I'm still trying to ignore her and walk home but she starts following me. I start yelling at her, banging on fences and trees, slapping her a bit on the butt and snout, trying to get her to stop following, but she thinks I'm playing and starts running along with me, running back and forth, bending her front legs, snapping playfully at my ankles. She ends up following me like that all the way home, which looks exactly like my mother's current apartment but with the backyard from my childhood house.
The dog comes inside with me. I give her a bowl of water and decide that I'll ask my parents if I can keep her when they get home. I decide to start trying to train her a bit. She tries to nip me again but I say "ah, manners!" and give her a gentle flick on the snout, she gets the idea immediately and quiets down and sits down at my feet. I pat her head and call her a good girl. At this point my older brother walks in, irl I'm an only child but I recognize him as my older brother in the dream. He's in his late teens and just graduated school that year. He sees the dog, says something like "haha, mom and dad are gonna be pissed" then starts playing with it. The two of us lean on the sill of the window that overlooks the front yard of the apartment building, where someone is working on their car in the grass. We watch him for a bit and chat about what I planned to do after highschool . I say I'm thinking of joining the army, he says it's a good idea and I should talk to the school counselor about it. We take the dog out back and play with her on the lawn for a bit. A car pulls into the parking lot, it's my (our?) parents. We show them the dog, I show them that I've already trained her a bit, and they say that we can keep her. I wake up.

it was a really vivid dream that went on for basically the entire night

I had the same dream! A truly vivid shade of black, like I had lost consciousness for at least 7 hours. The ending was a mess though.

An attractive woman began massaging my big toe. She massaged from the cuticle up, slowly pushing out all the grime underneath my toenail, and also pushing out my ingrown toenail so it was cured. It felt good.

Then she took the grime that she had pushed out and ate it. I found this both disgusting and arousing. She repeated the process with my other toes. I woke up feeling slightly horny and disappointed that I still had ingrown toenails.

I flew across the ocean, ostensibly to see my old friend, but really because I knew my ex was going to be there. Sure enough, she appeared with her new boyfriend and when she saw me she squealed and immediately pounce-hugged me. We fell underneath the table, and hidden by the tablecloth she kissed me. Then we got up and had to act like it didn't happen.

Later that evening her boyfriend was sleeping and she was awake and looking at me with longing eyes. Hidden beneath the covers she kissed me again and started crying. I wanted to tell her I had always been thinking of her but I didn't want to speak for fear of being overheard.

When I woke up I felt pretty depressed once I realized it was just a dream. I will probably never see my ex again because she lives in a different country with a boyfriend, plus I'm married now. I don't regret leaving my ex for my current wife but I also miss her terribly. Why isn't good ever good enough? Why can't we just be content with what we have?

I took a higher dose of my sleeping pill than normal but one of the side effects is vivid dreams. It actually made me wake up more instead of helping me sleep. I woke up 6-7 times last night instead of my usual 1-2. Most times, I had a separate dream or nightmare.

Instead of going into the details of all of them, I wonder: do you have multiple dreams/nightmares per night, or just one? Almost every time I woke up, I remembered a different dream.

>>300
I sometimes have several, yeah.

>>300 Apparently you have lots of dreams every night, but your brain doesn't remember most of them.

It's your nipples that do the remembering, usually.

Nikita Sergeyevich Khrushchev was giving a press conference regarding the fall of the Soviet Union on Fox News, wearing a white t-shirt with merely the word "Gorbachev" written across the chest in black Arial font. I got up, went into the bathroom, and angrily shaved my beard in protest.

This morning when I looked in the mirror I realized I hadn't shaved my beard and that Khrushchev has been dead for 46 years.

I was studying abroad in Australia. But instead of it being a solid land mass (like the continent actually is), it was a bunch of tiny islands next to each other. My “dorm room” was a tiny islands and I had to drive a boat to get anywhere. The island was only as big as the dorm room itself.

I capsized my boat because of turning too quickly. I tried to flip it over, which caused it to sink. It was close enough to my island that I was able to swim back to it. But when people I knew heard about it, they got upset and wanted to dive into the ocean to retrieve the boat. So we put on diver gear and went underwater, which was very scary for me.

There was a huge school of fish that looked like a combination of fish and octopi. The boat was somewhere nearby but I was too freaked out by being in the ocean with lots of fish and also not knowing what was in the rest of the water that I couldn’t see. Then a big shark came by. I don’t remember if it attacked anyone or not but I wanted to get a harpoon for safety. I did indeed get a harpoon but then the shark bit and bent the harpoon, making it useless. It was about this time that I started to regret living in an area without solid land.

I am not going to be studying abroad in Australia, but I will be going to another country soon. Maybe this is a reflection of my subconscious dread about the trip. It will be fun but it will also be intensely different from my current country and it might be stressful to get used to it.

Post in a thread. Knowing how it works enables winning. Losing means the board gets slightly worse. That's how to play the textboard game.

>>305
You are going to die on that trip,

>>307
god I hope so

kill me now, it hurts to live

I had a dream where the world was mostly water and it rained all the time. Thunder and lightning was really hardcore, to the point that it could destroy buildings, so this dream world had different construction design, centered around rain and protection from lightning bolts. Lots of reinforced metal, gutters, flood relief zones, almost no windows, and big lightning rods to attract lightning away from smaller buildings. Instead of having separate shelters, buildings themselves were the disaster shelters. And you couldn’t go outside during the really bad weather.

In the dream, I decided to be edgy and go out during one of the hardcore storms. I don’t really remember what happened because then I woke up.

69ing a hot scoffing dominant manga girl

>>309
Thats some pretty elaborate world building for a dream.

>>311
I take a sleeping pill that makes dreams more vivid. It can be good or bad. Dreams are better but nightmares are worse.

I had a dream where lots of shit happened that I forget, but what I did remember was that an alien creature was attacking me and I had to pour milk on it to get it to leave me alone. The milk hurt it somehow. However, I only had a gallon of milk, so eventually I ran out. It knew I had a finite supply of milk. Then I woke up.

I don't remember too much of it, but my family was operating some sort of inn/hotel with a very quaint interior layout where I had some minor position. For some reason I had three different handguns in a drawer in my room, which was a dangerous situation because they were highly illegal.

>>314
Guns should be legal. Gun control is all about disarming law-abiding citizens and dies nothing to stop criminals. The government wants passive citizens who can’t put up a fight if the government decides to become an authoritarian regime. Only soldiers and police will have guns, but they are acting in the best interests of the state. Sure, criminals will still have guns, but there aren’t very many of them. Governments see maintaining their power as a higher priority than allowing civilians to protect themselves from criminals or totalitarianism.

>>315
no one asked you

>>316
Are you upset because this goes against the indoctrination you’ve received in liberal academia?

People don’t like to think critically about their beliefs. But sometimes, you really should.

>>317
No, I am completely indifferent to your political opinion, which is worthless in a dream thread and even in context is still worthless. Why I am even responding to low hanging fruit from a sociopath like yourself is what I should really be thinking critically about.

>>318
If you disagree with someone, call them names. That'll show 'em. People will listen to you when you insult them. Cool.

/dqn/ is a SAFE SPACE. NO DISCUSSIONS ABOUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN SAFE TOPICS ALLOWED. SJIS ART AND FORCED MEMES ARE THE ONLY THINGS ALLOWED HERE. NO CRITICAL THINKING.

god fuck off already

just kill yourself already

>>320-321
There is no need to be upset.

So people here used racial slurs towards me and told me to kill myself. But I'M the problem.

Do any of you have any self-awareness at all?

There's no racial slurs here, so you're just dragging drama over from somewhere else. You're not a victim, you just like attention on an Anonymous site. Just join Reddit or something already, this site isn't meant for you.
vc: fefe

And in an ideal world no-one would have responded, so there was nothing for you to grab onto and it would appear it was just one person in an echo chamber, but oh well. No doubt you would have just sockpuppeted until someone latched on.

>>319 It's not about "safe spaces" or "critical thinking", I just don't need any more trite edgy opinions recycled from the dregs of other sites. It's embarrassing.

This morning I remembered that I had drawn a somewhat substantial comic a couple years ago, except as I got to a more lucid phase I slowly realized I didn't remember hardly any plot or art details, a single line of dialogue, nor where I had squirreled away a single sheet of it.

mfw somewhere in the back of my head I believed a previous dream or series of dreams in which I'd drawn it, but only when I was asleep.

>>327
I've had similar experiences, such as waking up and calling out to the qt I was sexxing, only to realise there was never a qt at all

>>328
It's actually the most frequent kind of dream I notice, where some sort of epic mythos has accumulated over the space of months of dreams aaaand here is where you forget it all, lel

This one just hurt particularly bad because it wasn't even memories of something exciting I was losing, but of a laborious process that had I actually done it I might be pretty good at it now.

I dreamt that a big scandal had broke about the new god of war game being a 1 for 1 ripoff of minecraft.

I once went to get the ice cold coke I was sure I had stored in the fridge only to realize it was a dream and my fridge is actually empty.

I was the only guy in a college music class full of attractive college girls. For some reason the next exercise required everybody to be naked. So everybody stripped and it was extremely hard to keep my eyes on my notes as I was surrounded by hot naked women writhing around. The teacher, who was more my age, came over and stuck her boobs in my face and seductively asked me what I thought. I thought, man, is this gonna lead to what I hope it leads to?

But unfortunately the dream changed then.

Once, as a child, I had a dream in which my grandpa brought all his donkeys through the living room, one by one, so I could feed each of them a carrot. There were dozens. The dream ended when one of them bit my dick instead.

I drove down to the mall to meet my younger brother who was hanging out there with his friends, and he have me what looked like a small mushroom cap but was apparently weed. Which was a dangerous situation because it was highly illegal.

I haven't had a dream, but I'm gonna have one soon!

I had another dream about getting choked. I woke up out of breath. I think I have sleep apnea.
>>334
Weed isn't dangerous.

>>336
Weed isn't dangerous, but the law is.

>>337
You're not gonna get caught. Lots of people smoke.

please at least wait a hundred post or so

>>339
no

Married a shark

Dreamed that my great aunt and great uncle died. I was super broken up about it, sobbing and crying and stuff. They're kind of assholes though, I don't think I'd be that upset irl if they actually died.

>>342
Everyone dies eventually. For some of my really old family members who passed away, they were kind of relieved when they were on their deathbed. Being old can mean having chronic pain, needing assistance to go to the bathroom, not remembering basic things, worrying about being a financial burden on younger generations, etc.

When you're healthy, happy, and successful, death seems bad. When you're old and miserable, death seems more welcome.

I was at some kind of talent school. I have absolutely no talent in anything, so I had been removed, but nobody knew and I stuck around for a bit, so they probably assumed that I was still signed up.

Schoolniversity dream.

Wake up in a lecture hall where school chemistry teacher promises all of us doom on an upcoming "optional" state-wide test on September 22, telling us to read the following, she then names elements and some authors whose books we are supposed to read - too quick, I don't catch it, one name repeats for a few of those. I try to look at the notes which an old classmate next to me has been taking, but she missed it either. There are only some details about the test and the doom that awaits us written neatly. I prepare to leave as the teacher interrogates/berates/checks exam or test of some unlucky guy. I pick up some empty wine glasses and go wash them, then put them on a desk and tell some girl waiting her turn that those belong to that guy.

I put my coat on as I go down the stairs avoiding flocks of primary school pupils, but decide to go to a canteen instead turning right (as I would in my school). The canteen is much bigger than it was (NB: I rarely went there at all) with much larger counter, restaurant-like tables and a very nice menu. It's largely empty, a few tables are occupied, another classmate is sitting there drinking his sorrows away (vodka?). There is no line, and I go to order some salad (cooking lady informs me that vegetable ones are gone and offers fruits instead, chopping some grapefruit and kiwi quickly). Some confusion ensues over buckwheat - there is a giant blob of it, a whole mountain - but in the end I get my cutlet, soup and a cup of tea and settle down at an empty table.

(Interrupted by alarm clock)

Still in the canteen, standing with two people. One guy is telling a story, making gestures excitedly, the other one is laughing. I leave their group thinking to myself, "Funny guy. But his badge is missing 'n'." I turn back to take a look. The story guy is wearing a red shirt with a red name tag on it saying, "Ed Times".

tl;dr

>>347
Should have watched, lol!

I had a dream where I was restoring an early 1970s Chevelle. It turned into a nightmare when I discovered that the car needed more repairs than I thought it would, and I was watching the bill get higher and higher. I then faced the question that many people face when restoring cars. That question is "Do I keep spending money on this car until it is restored, or do I just sell the car and accept that I wasted a lot of money on it?"

That kind of question was asked when my parents were having several problems with their cars a few years ago, although they weren't cars that attract car enthusiasts. Both my parents spent about $2000 on repairs before they discovered that they would need to spend much more.

After falling back asleep, I then had a nightmare that I was restoring an RV and being stuck in the same situation.

I dreamed I went to go see a baseball game and they had one of those events before the game where you can go up and meet the players and get autographs and stuff. When I got up there the only one there was a certain player who's known among the local media for being especially open and friendly. I tried to make some smalltalk about baseball with him but he just gave me the most dead eyed thousand-yard stare you've ever seen and wordlessly slid a signed paper napkin at me across the table. Then later I was playing baseball in a fancy hotel room with expensive pottery and dishes all over the walls. I was standing on a mattress with shards of broken ceramic everywhere, holding a bat. The pitcher, who wasn't one of <team>'s actual real life players like the guy above, just a random dream person who was throwing me the ball, comes over and is giving me pointers on which pitches to swing at and where he as the pitcher wants to put the ball vs where I as the hitter should wait for the ball to end up. I said back to him, "Oh that's cool, I never knew a lot of this stuff. I just play by instinct. Don't think, feel."

Licked basically all the dirty walls. All of them, in one streak. Don't even ask me how that works.

I had a dream where sinks were on the floor. I was in a massive maze-like skyscraper that interconnected with other skyscrapers in weird directions, kind of like a 3D maze.

I was going to the city by train. But the train station was very high-tech and efficient.

Rather than boarding the train car when it arrives, you'd board a car (not on a train) BEFORE the train came. Then, as soon as the train arrived, it would merely shift the passenger car onto the train. It would also move a car off which contained people who wanted to get off at that particular stop. Then it would leave immediately. No more waiting to cram into a car. No more wasted time.

It did seem like a lot of work just to save like 20 seconds, but in the end it did make things faster, even at the cost of extra complexity and more energy usage.

>>353
Interestingly that's not dissimilar to a concept of high-speed rail-based "personal" public transport by some futurist.
Cars fitting a couple of people would sit on a rail at your stop, like a taxi rank, and you'd get in the front-most one. Then it would get up to speed to join the main rail, merging with other cars going the same route at high speed. At your destination, it would simply switch off to the secondary rail again and halt behind the other cars waiting for passengers, and you'd get off.

I could fly very easily. It was as exhausting as running though, so you couldn't do it for really long periods of time unless you were really fit.

There were two kinds of techniques for flying. One where you'd move your arms and legs, kind of like swimming, in such a way that you'd stay at the same altitude. Also, the higher up you flew, the harder it got.

But the second way you could do fly was to put effort into swim-flying (best way to describe it) upwards until you were like maybe 50 feet above the attitude you wanted to be, then you'd glide forwards and downwards for a while, just keeping your arms and legs out and coasting downwards, so you could rest for a few seconds while that happened. So you'd go from low to high and back.

There was also a place where you could do laundry on the top of the roof of a couple of skyscrapers. You had to take all your laundry up in the elevators though. For some reason, flying was excluded from this portion of my dream. If you wanted to go to the washer and dryer machines, you had to take the elevators up from one building, then take a walkway from one building to the other. But it was at the top of the building, and it was open, so I got vertigo because you could potentially fall off when crossing rom one building to another.

Oh, and flying while tired was dangerous. Just because you could fly doesn't mean you could survive falling from a great height. At one point in the dream, I felt tired, and it was difficult to maintain altitude, and I didn't want to fall to my death, so I just stopped.

I was traveling. I eventually went to some lodge in the middle of nowhere. Saw some old high school friends, like a reunion or something. They were more successful than me and it made me feel bad. Then some people were leaving, but for some reason I didn't want to leave. I think there was a problem with my car, or something else that prevented me from going. Then, when most (or all?) people were gone, a creepy-looking tiny skeleton sprang up and was watching me through the glass door. I kind of danced and it imitated me. Then I played pattycake with it (through the door). I wanted it to leave so that I could get to my car to leave the building. I was concerned about it hurting me if I went outside. Then it started growing taller and bigger and started to grow flesh too, eventually turning into a person. It turned into Freddy Krueger. Then I knew I was fucked because they would be able to break the glass. I don't remember what happened after that.

First dream: I was doing a made-up sport called "free running" where you'd either run, or sit on a plank and push with your hands on either side -- in order to go down a hill. The hill/course for the free running had a lot of cool stuff. Ponds, rocks, trees, and overall, it was very pretty, like a garden. I think it was on a mountain.

Then I woke up, then went back to sleep again.

Second dream: I was in what looked to be an airport, or some other place where a lot of people were waiting in chairs. There was a snake charmer trying to get a snake out from somewhere. I dropped my glasses near an elevator, but when I was about to get them from the ground, security told me to go back, so I had to wait with no glasses for a while until they realized that I actually dropped them.

Dreams don't make sense.

I had a dream where I had to take a big trash bag full of spaghetti and pasta sauce up to the top floor of a building. Don't ask why. I really don't know. I was with some other people who were helping me.

The staircase wasn't like a normal building's one. Even though it was all in a building, it was more like this:
https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/long-stairs-to-reach-buddhist-temple-earth-heaven-steps-sky-86955078.jpg

And someone fell down when we were going up. I'm not sure what happened to them, because it seemed like the stairs went on forever. Also, at the top, the air was very thin due to the high altitude, and I couldn't breathe very easily. Then I woke up feeling out of breath.

I just closed my eyes at work, and suddenly had an intense 5-second dream where a wise old man grabbed me and shouted, "You were not always you!" I think I haven't been getting enough sleep lately.

I had a dream where I returned to my apartment, and I found it was even more of a shitty mess than it usually was, but I didn't really give a shit. I took a bath and noticed the walls around my shower were covered with greetings signed by at least 50 different people painted with lots of different colors. I thought they were messages from previous tenants that I just didn't notice before, so I didn't pay that much attention.

I finished showering, dressed myself, and then I found there was a girl detective(?) which told me a huge band of teenagers had broken into my apartment and started partying, and that was the reason the apartment was in such disarray. I figured that since the apartment wasn't really that much dirtier than usual, besides a broken laptop that some turd decided to smash against my desktop and the weird painted greetings in the shower, I might as well roll with it and blame the teenagers for my crappy house upkeep and told the detective that she ought to call the landlord to explain everything to her and to get someone to clean everything up.

I dreamt of being inside an infinitely large tower again. This time, it was some kind of shooting game. I found a weapon hidden inside the wall behind a large T.V..

I was washing all of my dildos. IRL I only have three, but I had more in the dream, including some more exotically shaped/textured ones. One was covered in this weird yellow goop and, even though it was washing off without much trouble, I was kind of apprehensive about putting it inside of myself again.

>>363

>I only have three

only? that's still 3 more than I have

>>364
Sounds like you need more dildos in your life, friend.

I had a kind of scifi-ish dream. But it was dystopian scifi. I was on some sort of scifi space port thing in the middle of nowhere. Like, it was a man-made building/ship thing, not a planet, just floating in space, far away from anything else. And it was like a slum. Very poor, high crime, etc. It was like a scifi version of a dangerous area in South America. Someone wanted to rob me so they had us to go to an ATM (they wanted me to withdraw money), but I was able to change into a tiny body to escape. Your soul or whatever was like a sim card, and you could easily swap it out into other bodies (like putting a sim card in a phone). I guess they were robotic. Or maybe you could just shrink down to avoid being seen? I don't know. It was weird. But I shrank down to the size of a fly to be unseen. I hid in air vents for a while.

There was no good ending or anything. I just spent the rest of the dream trying to avoid being robbed. Also, gravity was kind of weird. You could sort of float, and it was easy to jump effortless over things, because you were on some space thingamajig instead of a planet. But at one point I was close to the edge of the port and I was worried about falling off. There was nothing for a very long distance in all directions. I got the feeling that some people were stranded here, with no space ships, which was like the scifi equivalent to being homeless. There were a lot of restaurants and bars here too, though it sort of felt like one of those semi-abandoned malls in some places. I guess some people would stop here to refuel or something, but I think some of those people would be attacked/mugged.

ELAINE and KRAMER appear on an abandoned ship. The ship is slightly
tilted. Through a port window, we can see the ship is partially
surrounded by ice. ELAINE is carrying two phone books.

ELAINE: That's the last of them. Can we go now?

KRAMER: Yeah. Yeah, sure. But you did pick up my phone book, right?

ELAINE: No, these are mine. Kramer! Did you lose your phone book
again?

KRAMER: [Sputters] Maybe. Yeah. Definitely.

ELAINE: Oh, fine. Show me where you put it down.

KRAMER leads ELAINE down a corridor and pauses at the doorway to a
room. The room is wider than can be seen, and there is light from
what must be an open window on the left. A clutter of shelves fills
the right of the room (the tilt of the ship has caused them to
collect). A tattered phone book can be seen on the shelves.

KRAMER: [Pointing, distraught] It's over there.

ELAINE: And you want me to go get it?

KRAMER: [Sputters] Yeah.

ELAINE: Why can't you go get it? What's in the room?

KRAMER: [Pointing to the shelves in turn, clearly avoiding the left
of the room] There's the sink, and there's the phone book, and
there's a bed.

ELAINE: Enough. What's on the left side of the room?

KRAMER reluctantly steps back, revealing that just inside the room,
to the left of the doorway, is a short, humanoid-shaped figure
covered in black cloth.

KRAMER: This is Ms. [rapid Japanese]. She's Mr. S[unintelligible]'s
niece. He killed her, you know.

ELAINE: You're afraid of a dead woman.

KRAMER: Y-y-y-yeah.

ELAINE: All right. What killed it? [referring to the phone book]

KRAMER: Ms. [rapid Japanese]. She's Mr. S[unintelligible]'s niece.
He killed her, you know.

ELAINE: Yeah, I've got that. So you just want me to walk in, take
the phone book, turn around, and walk back out?

KRAMER: Y-y-y-yeah.

ELAINE: Uh-uh. I'm going in through the window.

ELAINE and KRAMER are now outside, on the deck of the ship. Much
of it is covered in snow and ice. The window to the room is on their
right. On the left is the edge of the ship. Beyond is a snow/ice
wall, with a small patch of water between.

ELAINE: I'm going to check out the fish.

ELAINE casts Polymorph Self. She becomes an octopus-like creature
and dives into the water. After a few minutes, she remerges.

ELAINE: Kramer! [Shoves him] Those fish are big! I was one of Mr.
S[unintelligible]'s tomato plants, and I was five feet in diameter,
and I got this! [She shows him a bite mark.]

KRAMER: Well. Huh. Do you want me to cast Cure Light Wounds?

ELAINE: It wasn't Ms. Nishi-whatever who killed it [the phone book].
She's been dead for centuries! It was a fish!

KRAMER: [Nervously] Well. What do you know about that.

ELAINE: And you knew!

KRAMER: [Sputters] Maybe.

ELAINE: Start talking. If you want me to get that phone book for
you, I need to know everything. Including why those fish have five
hit dice, and why you tried to blame it on Ms. Nishi-whatever.

KRAMER: Uhh...

[Dream ends]

I wrote this down as quickly as I could, but by the end, some parts were fading.

>>367
This is amazing. I would love to read an extended fan-fiction like this. Especially the first part is the perfect mix between creepy and comedic.

vc: vag

I was exploring a building which looked like a level from Quake 1. When I finally went outside, a teenage girl dressed in black came up to me, said "don't live in a dream world" in my language, then kissed me ten times.

I was in a Twilight Zone-esque horror movie called "You can't forget me" (I spent a lot of the dream trying to figure out how the title related to the plot). I played a travelling salesman who arrived at an isolated town, mostly surrounded by a forest. Everyone was warned not to go outside the town limits after nightfall. On the first night, a few people vanished, but nobody wanted to talk about it.

On the second night, I overheard a group of children arguing about whether they should go outside or not. For some reason, I was supposed to keep the worrying child safe, but she said she had to follow her reckless friends and try to protect them. We followed, then watched as larger, more adult versions of the children silently walked out of the woods. The children panicked and ran, but one by one they were caught and eaten (perhaps "inhaled" is a better term). We weren't able to do anything to save them. When we saw the adult version of the child I was supposed to protect coming for us, we bolted, with the replacements casually following us.

Inside the town, everyone had gathered together in the town square, with torches. They seemed to know about the threat, but had no real defence strategy. Older versions of everyone (not just the children) started appearing. At this point, I realized a few things were wrong with the movie, so I stopped paying attention for a while while the townspeople were assaulted by their doppelgangers, and instead I pondered what was "supposed" to happen. I'll get to that later.

Anyway, a bunch of people got eaten and we ended up preparing to climb on top of the tallest building and wait out the night. But as I was trying to find people to escape with, I kept finding the older duplicates instead. At this point, everyone was sort of milling around the town, either running from their older self, trying to hide from the doppelgangers in general, or trying to find each other. I think I ended up finding two or three non-replaced people. As we were pulling up the ladder, a background townsperson ran up, screaming "You can't forget me!". But he had attracted the mob, and we watched in horror as he was devoured by a hunched, gray-haired version of himself with a cane.

Anyway, the things that I recognized as being wrong with this movie:

1) The casting choices were extremely odd. Specifically, all the children were played by 2hus. So young, EoSD Marisa was eaten/replaced by sexy, busty fanart Marisa, and we had to spend the rest of the movie running from her.

2) I, clearly, wasn't supposed to be the star. This was obviously supposed to be about a child's fear of growing up, and of finally becoming old and feeble. My character felt shoehorned in.

3) The dopplegangers didn't know what they were supposed to be doing. As children's nightmares, they were perfect. They ate their targets and moved on to interact with the adults. But as an adult, I saw the second half of that. They sort of just walked into town and stood around. Sometimes they tried to act menacingly, sometimes they just looked smugly at people (but that might have been because some of them were played by 2hus), sometimes they tried to blend in and fully replace their target. At one point, I grabbed one and broke its neck. Nobody, not even the townspeople, knew how to react; they all just stared at each other, waiting for a cue.

4)I'm pretty sure "Don't forget me" was supposed to mean that a child's replacement had forgotten that child's friends. At the end of the movie, only one child would be left, completely alone, and they might decide that it's finally time to grow up. But all the children died halfway through, so that couldn't happen. It's as if the director threw up his hands and said "Fine, just have somebody say the title or something".

I was in some kind of office building trying to find my old heavily customized Atari 800 system, and everybody had these cheap looking remote control dinosaur toys. They had that ugly hacky airbrushed by chinese slave girls paint jobs over injection molded plastic, with old style pill-shaped red LEDs in their eye sockets, big obvious screws holding joints together and such, but they could run faster than dogs and cats and moved with disturbingly organic liveliness.

Someone threw a teddy bear into the hall and they all shredded it like a pack of hungry wolves.

I came home to my giant, long bed to find several people laying on it and watching TV. I laid down next to a girl who ground on my dick for a while and then left. Another girl started sniffing around suspiciously, which made me realize that I had cum in my pants. I was quiet until she pointed me out in front of everyone and I said, "Yeah, I came, I'm gross." I didn't mention the first girl because I knew she had a boyfriend. The only part that seemed weird was a white person on TV saying the n-word.

Weed isn't dangerous. it just does so cool. I often drink tea http://www.cannahacker.com/weed-tea/ This is a very cool thing, respect your bro

It's like 7 years later and I still often have dreams about being back in school. In this one, I dreamed I was in the class of my 12th grade English teacher who I severely disliked. I had forgotten my book, she told me to go get it. I said "no, I won't". She told me to go and get it before the end of class or "there will be consequences". I said "wanna bet"? and she said "sure, $20". I sat there until the end of class without going to get my book, then grabbed $20 off her desk while I was walking out and left without saying a word to her.

Later on I had found a mysterious scrap of paper with a locker number and a combination on it. I was supposed to find the locker and open it and there'd be a legendary item inside, but I don't know how I knew that.

I was dressed in girls' clothes waiting on a bus with some strangers. I was wearing a frilly tank top and a skirt, but my top was on backwards so I pulled my arms in to turn it around and accidentally exposed my nipples for a brief second. I was feeling pretty cute and confident and was hoping someone would come on to me like in an ero manga. When the bus pulled in across the street and we were all running across the street to get to it. We finished crossing the street and ended up in a neighborhood I recognized, but that shouldn't have been there. Then I was dragged to one of the people's house instead. I say house but it was more like a shed or a shack, with a bare wooden ceiling and bare wooden walls with cobwebs everywhere and only two dirty rooms, the sparse sunlight filtering into the building seemed itself to become grungy and dirty by contact with the place and made it look permanently like the sun was setting outside.

One of the people held me down and undressed me and stuck his dick in my ass but then pulled it out and turned on the TV. Everyone suddenly became transfixed by the TV, it was some show about a creepy puppet that seemed to go on for several actual in-dream days while I just laid there naked on the floor. Then one of the people pulled down a big piece of clear plastic that had been covering the ceiling, revealing that it was covered in literally millions of spiders and centipedes and beetles and such. When he did that, all the bugs started falling off the ceiling and landing on me and crawling all over my naked wet body. The one who pulled the plastic down started ranting at me that the bugs had always been there but that they were his friends only they didn't know any better than to crawl all over your body and that's why he put the plastic up, his mother was up there too watching over us, and when I looked up at the ceiling again there was a dirty skeleton in a tattered and rotten dress hanging from the ceiling, staring back down at us with its eye sockets full of spiders.

>>370 That dream sounds positively amazing. Especially the bit about how it's basically all done in one take, and the scripts are vague and nobody really knows what they're meant to be doing.

A man or it could have been a woman was lying face down on the floor. He was naked and had a gun in his hand. He shot himself a few times in the butt cheeks and then shot himself in the asshole. Then he turned over a little on his side and shot himself in the head. Throughout he was making what sounded like moans filtered through a voice changer. It sounded like the moans from the Max Headroom hijacking video. It was kind of creepy and I'm glad I woke up.

Max von Sydow and I were reminiscing about our lives of high tech crime in a run down cyberpunk neighborhood. We laughed and drank a lot, and showed off various scars to a girl who'd been listening to us. Every now and then, we'd project POV holograms of our victims and laugh even more.

I was so damn disappointed when I woke up...

I had a dream where I had a combination jet pack (with wings)/laptop. As in, you could use it as a laptop, but then it could also change into a jet pack thing if you unfolded it.

I was being chased by Pewdiepie and he was trying to kill me, but he was trying to be playful about it. I don't know why he would be in my dream. I only saw one of his screaming videos on Youtube many years ago.

I was flying from city to city in order to escape Pewdiepie. I had to refuel my jet pack laptop thing at gas stations every now and then.

At one point, I was trying to impress a girl with my jet pack, but she thought it was dorky and tacky.

Later, I was getting tired of flying, so I found a river and there was a car-boat thing that looked like a 50 GMC combined with a boat (see: https://www.google.com/search?q=50+gmc&tbm=isch) and I just hopped in because the door was unlocked and I asked the guy if it was okay if I hitched a ride because Pewdiepie was following me and trying to kill me. The guy in the carboat thing was cool with it, but I noticed that he wasn't steering it or using the pedals, and he said it was a self-driving carboat.

At some point I managed to go to Chicago and I think a police officer was mad at me for flying around the buildings because of some FAA regulations or whatever, but he didn't arrest me and I just ignored him. I don't think I was qualified or authorized to be flying there, or pretty much anywhere, now that I think about it. At this point, I think I lost Pewdiepie, but the skyline was really beautiful so I was trying to take a photo from a certain angle. But the building I was holding onto stretched and fell over, so I couldn't get the angle I wanted for the photo.

The sleeping pills I take give me really vivid dreams for some reason.

I had a dream where I took a massive shit. I'm talking like a dozen times longer than a normal one, to the point that I had to break it off by clenching my butt and then flushed it multiple times before I was done. I woke up having to poo, and then I did.

I was in prison being chased by a massive woman, and I stepped barefoot in chocolate and licked it off my foot.

I was eating at my favorite sushi restaurant and my card got declined so I had to get my boss to cover me, then I woke up in a cold sweat.

I was taking a class on a bluff. I was nervous sitting toward the edge, so I moved closer to the center. Near the end of the class a boat flew by and knocked one of my classmates off. The professor called 911 and got in an argument with the dispatcher then hung up without telling them where we were.

I dreamt that I was really high. I went to bed in the middle of the afternoon. My girlfriend was talking to me but I couldn't hear her. Then I realized I couldn't hear anything. Everything was muffled except for a ringing like a fire alarm. I think she said there was someone at the door but I could barely understand her. She walked to get it and I walked to the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror and pulled a small paintbrush out of a pore in my nose.

I dreamed we were all in a farm house. We had been there before and every other time we died. Aliens were coming. There were donuts on the coffee table and I wanted to share a glazed one with sprinkles with my girlfriend. We had to run into the attic. A book or something laughed at us. You'll all die, it said. Someone went down and opened it. What do you mean? They asked it. Haven't you realized it? Every time an odd number of you has gone up there to hide, you've all died. One of you has to stay. We all climbed up anyway. It sounded like bullshit but the closer the aliens got, the less I wanted to risk it. I counted the number of people. 8. We were safe. Then I realized I miscounted, what I thought was a person was a pair of my old slippers. There were only 7 people. Someone had to go but I couldn't bring myself to make someone else do it. I said I would go down. Suddenly, Fox Mulder said he would be the one to go down. It's okay, I've always wanted to see what the aliens looked like. Now I will. He grabbed a camcorder and walked down the steps. We started pulling them up behind him. I was grateful but didn't want to risk him changing his mind. Now we would be safe. Another man, a film director, saw the camcorder and realized he wanted to film the aliens before all this was over. He grabbed his camera and ran out onto the roof. Dammit, no! I shouted after him. He slid a bit on the snow. He looked happy as he filmed the aliens coming across the wheat fields to our house. He tried to run back inside but it was too late. The aliens were already in. We were all dead. The aliens looked like hunchbacked scorpions with irridiscent beetle wings. They crawled on the walls with millipedes and chewed on whatever they could find. They turned towards the director as he climbed in through the window. The only person who survived that time was Mulder, downstairs with his camera and watching it all unfold with an expression of fear and awe on his face.

In another dream, I saw the donuts again on a coffee table in a department store. I really wanted to eat the glazed one. It was like 3 donuts stacked on top of each other. I knew I had to share it with my girlfriend though. A man behind the counter reminded me to share it with her. I found her in an aisle and told her about the donut I wanted to share. She stopped looking at things in the aisle and came over to me and hugged me, putting her head on my chest. She was soft and warm. Let's go split that donut, I said.

I was part of an archaeological expedition on an unexplored planet. We were searching for evidence that would lead us to Earth, which had been lost long ago. At first we were hopeful, but as time wore on we started seeing contradictions. There were fossilized ancient creatures inside buildings using materials that shouldn't have co-existed. We found corpses of people like ourselves among them. And no matter how far we dug, we never stopped finding artifacts.

We sadly realized that we were unearthing a series of ancient archaeological expeditions that had all died while searching for the same thing we were. I wondered if we were going to die as well, but I just woke up instead.

I was a girl on my way home from work, and upon entering my apartment bedroom I found some older guy sitting on my couch/bed, taking photos of me. He pretended that everything was normal and so did I, while going into the kitchen to fetch a knife. Luckily he hadn't been following me, and so before he could react I walked up to him and drove the knife into his heart. This did nothing, and we ended up fighting but I eventually managed to pin him against the fridge while chipping away at his skull until he succumbed. I had somehow called the cops while fighting him, but I don't remember if they arrived before the dream ended.

Which was a dangerous situation because it was highly illegal.

There was a rather large green-and-black-scaled snake on my head. Like, not constrictor size, around the right size to be multiple layers on my head, but too thick to get my hand around, which I wasn't fool enough to try. I was pretty concerned about this situation since I have recently picked up an ophidian Internet handle and was wondering if there was some symbolism here, but also I just didn't know whether this was safe.

Despite its size, it went in and out of my mouth once, while someone relayed to me that nah it's not venomous, which frustrated me because I'm pretty sure it did that on purpose to establish dominance and really I was more worried about whether it would bite. Oddly enough, despite being my anxious persnickety self in all this, I wasn't disgusted by how clean this wasn't, and more worried about how the hell was I gonna get this snake off me even though I bore it no ill will and acknowledging it might represent a facet of myself, since I could see it without it being in my eyes' lines of sight.

After all, snakes are traditionally symbolic of the unclean or the untrustworthy and many people revile them instinctually, but once you understand them they can actually be kind of cute. But not so much when they're invading an orifice you didn't even think was open. And I'm pretty sure I haven't lied any time lately. Anyway I forget how we parted ways, but I was already musing about the significance of the snake as I awoke.

I had a dream where I encountered a fake D.VA
She was called D.V8

A friend and I were messing around with this elaborate drone building educational toy, like Drone K'nex or something. We kept building huge elaborate drones with up to 30 rotors pointing in all directions trying to see if we could overload the control module, but each one flew perfectly. My favorite was a little one that looked like an Elite Cobra MkIII

My mother was reading a Vulgate bible aloud to herself. She got frustrated and gave it to me to read instead because she doesn't understand Latin(I don't either). Then her and my dad went to an outdoor concert and left me to watch the house. While I was alone a cataclysmic earthquake came and destroyed the entire town. The survivors were going to meet up at the local church, I was looking for my dress shoes because I didn't want to go to church in sandals. This was about the point when my FUCKING RETARD FAGGOT CAT came flying into my bedroom and jumped on my head and clawed the shit out of my face and woke me up.

There was a book I was half-convinced I head read once, not super thick and not really above 8th grade reading level (it had pictures okay) that had some really solid knowledge in it, but I couldn't find my copy, then I found pirate versions of the first chapters and printed them out, and had to ask my brother if I was going crazy because otherwise I could find no trace with not enough detail to go on and a fading memory, and maybe I'd been fooled by a dream, and clearly I'm awake now and I got to read this or I'll forget it.

The book doesn't really exist. If it did exist, it would be kind of lame; a McGuffin, let's say. I was, in fact, dreaming.

>>391
Be more thankful. That cat just saved you and you don't even know it!

>>360
Some do say that persistence of consciousness is a myth

>>394
Those are probably just NPCs.

I dreamed that a bunch of wild west movie fans argued whether John Wayne or Chuck Norris had the best movies.

All I remember (apart from something about it being set in a video game world made by Danes, inspired by Europe but with very weird place names) was that I got a girl pregnant and very shortly thereafter she gave birth to my son. While I was boasting about him on the internet, he died and upon noticing this I switched straight over to humorously passing it off as an "unfortunate mishap". It turned out that my cohabitants, all of them middle-aged but retired workers, had commissioned a Chinese CIA wizard to kill him by making him stand up in bed, t-posing and falling off (because they were jealous of me?). I spent the final part of the dream flying a helicopter over some tropical sea dotted with islands, occasionally throwing one of the cohabitants out of it.
vc: pain

I dreamed that, too embarassed by his son's impending wizardness, my father hired me a prostitute.

When >>396[i]-[/i]san wakes up, what will happen to us?

I dreamt I named my baby >>396[i]-[/i]san

I was trying to park a car. I put the brakes on and it rolled toward traffic, so then I used the handbrake. The ground shifted and I started sliding backwards into the forest. I saw someone who looked like the girl from The Ring. Someone else was there and he was afraid, but I realized it was just a prank. I asked her, "what do you want?" She said, "I'm selling insurance." "Against what, dying in the woods?" And then I slipped back further.

I dreamed that they had finally put clickbait viruses in people. My friend was telling me about some get-rich-quick scheme where you do something for 8 weeks, then get a dollar every week for the next 1001 weeks (ok, maybe not that quick). I was making fun of it, but when I finally agreed to check it out, he snapped out of hypnosis and didn't know what we were talking about.

According to my map, Dresden was the second-largest city of Switzerland and there was a small town in Germany called "Dresdn".

I was in an empty parking lot at a superstore in the middle of the night, behind the wheel of a car. Bright floodlights mounted high overhead on tall steel poles shone down cones of illumination that cut through the inky darkness that otherwise consumed the field of white lines and concrete. The silence was deafening. I drove slowly despite mashing the accelerator down and watching the tachometer's needle spin, feeling as though the vehicle were caught in slow motion while I continued to move at full speed. An unfamiliar, unclothed person abruptly phased into reality, standing a few yards away from the from the front of the car with an indistinguishable expression that only vaguely represented that of a human's face, appearing smeared and swirled like a smudged oil painting. I blinked, and as I opened my eyes, everything seemed to accelerate. Gravity tossed me back into my seat as the wheels spun soundlessly, the strange figure staring from the opposite side of the glass remaining motionless as the distance between him and I closed. The bumper of the sedan connected with the creature, his form folding and contorting across the hood with a sickening crunching sound before rolling over and slamming against the windshield, crimson blood splattered as spiderweb cracks exploded across the surface in every direction. Bouncing, the broken body twisted through the air, clearing the roof before collapsing to the ground in a crumpled heap. I locked the brakes and held the steering wheel with a white knuckle grip, inhaling sharply and screwing my eyelids shut as the car skidded across the tarmac. It felt like I'd slid to a stop, but when I opened up my eyes again I found myself holding onto the handlebars of a motorbike, jetting down a familiar highway at a ludicrous pace. Strip malls, gas stations, and eateries sped by in a blistering blur as I weaved through traffic and blew past stoplights, the warm glow of the setting sun casting a tint of orange light over top of my surroundings and painting the world with long, dark shadows. I glanced down at the speedometer, but the digital display was just a garbled mess that I couldn't make any sense of. Though I felt I was crossing an enormous distance with the speed I was travelling, I noticed the road repeating itself, the same sets of shopping centers and street signs looping on either side of the pavement. I wrap my fingers around the brake and clutch it tight, and the moment that I do, the bike disappears entirely, leaving me flying through the air and gliding over the ground. I stick my arms out and flail in the air as I sail towards the tarmac, panicking as I fall. When I made contact, I woke up.

I had 2 cause I slept for like 14 hours:

I was in my hometown, walking to a drugstore that I often visited to buy soda and sweets at as a kid. A guy with a shaved head and a blond goatee came up and asked if I had any spare change. I fished around in my pockets, didn't find anything, so I told him sorry I don't have anything. Then he reached in his jacket pocket, pulled out a knife, and threw it right at my FUCKING COCK and it missed by like a quarter inch and lodged in my pelvic bone, the shock woke me up and I ran to the bathroom to pee.

2.
I finally fell back asleep after the first one:

I was on some hookup app looking for men but every time I'd arrange something with someone they'd flake at the last second, saying something like "sry my gf found out lol" "I just fapped and now I'm straight again""I forgot I have to go to church that day". I went for a walk in the snow to relieve some of the frustration and then the guy with the blond goatee and the shaved head jumped out from behind a tree and stabbed me in the dick.

I was in my hometown (a theme appears) with my mother on some business of some kind. I left her and wandered off to go see the apartments where we used to live. My key still worked (in reality we lived there like 15 years ago and I don't even have my key anymore) and no one seemed to be at home so I just let myself in, thinking to have a look around and see how the new tenants had changed the place. I was inspecting some knickknack off a shelf when the "new tenant" appeared behind me, a rather pretty young woman, slender with dark hair and dark eyes and clad in an ankle length black dress that at once seemed old-fashioned and very stylish. She was naturally a bit concerned at there being a strange man in her apartment so I set down the object I was looking at and put both my hands up to show that I was unarmed, then began to speak(I remember the conversation clearly):

-"Please don't be alarmed, miss, I don't mean any harm to you or your possessions."
-"Then what do you want?"
At this point I returned my hands to my sides.
-"You see, this was my boyhood home. I was in the area on some other business and thought I'd visit the complex here and see the little wooded area where I used to play as a kid. Out of curiosity I thought I'd see if my old key worked, and that if it did I'd of course return it to whoever was living here. The landlords here really are quite lazy you know, to not even change the locks after 15 years."

I produced the key from a pocket and handed it to her, to prove both my intentions and my story as to why I was in her apartment. To prove it even further, I intended to open the door and lock the handle and show her how the key worked in the lock, but when I opened the door it was actually the window. I fiddled with it for a second anyway, trying to find the keyhole, but she told me to please shut the window, it's cold outside and I'm letting out all the heat.

She invited me to sit down and made coffee for us both. I told her about my childhood, this part I don't remember the dialogue as clearly, and about how we had our television in such and such corner just like she does, only up here were some shelves, over there were some different decorations, we had pictures on this wall instead of that one, and so on. I was collecting my things, getting ready to leave, thanking her for the coffee and for indulging me in my childhood nostalgia, when I got a phonecall from my mother, frantically wanting to know where I'd gone off to.

I dreamt that half of the dirty dishes in my sink had been washed, which was mysterious because I always wash them completely.

I dreamt that someone made a typo on IRC and highlighted me unintentionally, then apologized for it.

I dreamt that I was an orphan in an ever-shifting dockside city, where the streets were formed out of spare shipping containers and crates, tens of stories high (the ships were several times larger than even the largest we have). We climbed onto a pile of convenience store crackers and watched some vagrants put on a circus, although instead of a circus it was a lecture series on Algebraic Geometry.

The owner of the crackers chased us away, suspecting us of stealing, and we found ourselves in The Place Where You Look For A Job, a massive wall with dozens of small, circular doorways, each belonging to a company looking for dock workers, or sailors, or something. There were thousands of vagrants in line, and only a fraction of them were accepted before the doors shut. Those who were taken in were never seen again, and I vaguely knew that it meant death to try to sneak through, or look beyond that wall. The sky darkened, which I knew meant a ship was coming in.

Then I woke up. I'll leave the analysis to you.

Start of Family Guy episode:

Peter Griffin is unsure of an obscure pop culture thing at the Drunken Clam, the answer to which could only be known past the end of his natural lifespan (dunno what, let's say it may have been the fate of a child actor or whether there would be a ridiculously high-numbered movie sequel).

The rest of the episode he dedicates his life to scientific discovery when tragedy takes away the rest of his family. His obsession makes it difficult to maintain human relationships, but his advances in robotics, time travel, and biology make society better as Quahog citizens use his inventions and they become agents of good, long-lived, good-looking. There are no cutaway gags or drama, this is kind of a biopic that lacks a conflict other than Peter's isolation due to his grief and actually being above it all.

After following the citizens' sort of time-cop problem solving for a while, Agent Joe walks in to the bar that day and gives the answer to the original question: "Yes." and immediately collapses as the chip in his spine shorts while he pops out of existence in about .2 seconds as the buzzed crew watches without reacting. CREDIT ROLL

I dreampted that my romantic interest told me they wanted to do the sex, so we both went to a bathroom to prepare, but as I presumably actually needed a pee in real life my dream self was completely unable to pee. I sat in a car trying to make the urine when I spotted someone I knew walking down the street towards me, so I ducked down.
Then my cat woke me up trying to dig a tunnel inside my legs for warmth.

My mom and I were looking for a cottage, and we found one that was being sold by a bunch of homosexuals in their "gay colony". It turns out they also kept corrupt politicians there, and would regularly sodomize their anuses. And whenever an anus was getting too dry, they had a sort of dildo on a hand drill, where the first couple inches was just caked in blood and shit, and the final 2/3rds were just barbs that tore up the flesh. When applied to a politician's anus this would effectively result in lubricating it, at the cost of excruciating pain to the anus owner.

I was in the passenger seat of a car and we were being chased by the police driving really fast down a small two lane road with trees on either side. The guy driving was firing a gun out the window at the police and I decided I didn't want any more to do with this, so I pulled out my own gun and shot him in the head and steered the car til it came to a stop. I got out of the car with my hands up to surrender to the police and tell them I wasn't involved when I hear "LET'S SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT MOTHERFUCKER!" from behind me and the driver wakes up and shoots me in the back of the head. I fall over and the dream ends, I wake up.

It was the 60s, and I went to go see Martin Luther King jr give a speech. Before it started he noticed me and took me aside and used magic to make me black so I wouldn't stand out in the crowd. He told me to come see him afterward and he'd reverse the spell but I woke up first.

>>413
Are you black now?

>>414 yeah, even got my N-word pass straight from Michelle Obama my nigga

I also dreamed tonight that a longtime net friend from Europe(I'm American, won't go more specific for either of us) came to visit me and we went to a baseball game. He kept asking me in his adorable accent to explain what was happening so I'd tell him about the rules or the finer points of the game strategy while we were watching. We got some hotdogs and beers, snuck down into better seats, all that classic ballpark stuff. It was the nicest dream I've had in a long time, I woke up in a really good mood even though I didn't get much sleep.

I was on an island of pure white sand, with shining white stone buildings in an achingly beautiful blue sea with blue cloudless skies overhead. Perfect place to have some profound experience, right? Nope. A bunch of drunken idiots came out of nowhere and trashed the whole place.

I made a very nice racing road winding downhill. Didn't get to try it though.

I keep having dreams where my dick is big enough or I'm flexible enough that I can suck it quite comfortably. So I spend most of my dream time with my dick in my mouth. Half the time I don't cum, but when I do it's stringy and weird.

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Hi! Yes. That's good. I also have many dreams. The biggest dream is to have a big house where my whole family lives. I'm working on it now. I have two jobs. I work at an official job and here remotely https://mr.bet/casino/new. I think that soon I will be able to fulfill my dream, because with the advent of remote work, I began to earn more money. I like that!

I didn't write my dream down because it's been a while since I last did so, but here is what I remember:
I was doing something work related for my company, and it comes to my attention that a different bigshot company needs one of our applications. Not too different from my actual work. The difference starts when they say they need a paper application (instead of a PDF) so that was a big "what the fuck". So I print it because it's my job, but I've never mailed anything at work before so I didn't know how to print labels (labels for their address) or even where the envelopes were so I end up going outside into a forest (I live in the desert). My boss was also in the forest, but that's about it.

Dreams about work are the most common dreams that I have... Kinda of sad.

I dreamed that I finally joined my friends for a D&D session like they've been trying to get me to do for a while. I rolled up a character and joined in and the very first thing I did was crit fail a melee attack and hit the wrong target and accidentally kill the group's high level fighter.

I had another dream where me and a partner had to raid a yacht like some drug bust. The targets were of Hispanic descent. I had a double barreled shotgun and my partner had some sort of pistol. We enter, and I shoot my 2 shots and I miss, and I yell "I'm out!" I couldn't find where my shells were and my partner couldn't take them on by himself. I got captured, and bound. They are holding a poisonous snack right up to my face while laughing at me, brush some sort of liquid on my wrist that makes the snake think there is food on that spot, and it bites me.

I wake up with some sort of disease, and I realize that I am "now" Hispanic (I'm Hispanic in real life). I get a bearing on my surroundings, and my initial thought is that it's Africa due to the rundown nature of the scenery but everyone was still Hispanic (so, out of dream, maybe it could be like a bad area of South America I guess). I get friendly with the locals, and things head in a direction where I have to leave, and everyone gets sad sending me farewell gifts and medicine that I had a hunch would not work.

>>421
How old are you? I should kill myself before I reach that age so my dreams don't meet the same fate.

>>423

> poisonous snack

wwwww

>>424
Both of those dreams were mine. I'm about to be 27 but I've had work dreams since I was 22. My other common dreams include me driving my car recklessly and totaling it. I wake up in a panic almost every time. And yeah, for some reason I always write "snack" instead of snake. I'm just glad I corrected it once at least.

I would post another dream but my roommate was whistling loudly when he got home from work (night shift), which woke me up. I drifted off back to sleep and forgot the dream. Maybe I'll locate my dream journal from a few years ago and post any interesting ones at some point.

>>424
>>425
Also about the work dreams thing, I doubt you have very much to worry about. I live a very simple life of working and playing video games every single day (days off are only video games), so I really don't have anything else that goes on in my brain. I'm sure that you are more functional than I am, so you'll have more than work happening in your life. Anyway, thank you for showing interest and sorry for the long and double posts.

>>426
It's all good, hombre. I felt a little mean after posting that. FWIW we're the same age, and most of my dreams are apparently about sucking my own dick, so... We're all mad here.

I think I'm just going to make this thread into a continuation my dream journal. By the way, if you take a daily multi-vitamin right before bed, you will have a greater chance of remembering your dreams!! I never go to sleep without taking one.

This dream seemed quite choppy. There were multiple parts that all seemed unrelated. The first part was a sort of school trip to a very large police station. Oddly enough, I do not believe I recognized anyone, which is rare for me. Also, I'm way out of school. Anyway, we went up these stairs, and there were glass sliding doors to the left and right of us but the right side appeared like it was not open to the public. It had chairs and potted plants lined up across the pathway to block entry. However there was a space so I walked through, and the rest of my group followed. There wasn't much going on, just a lot of closed doors that were larger than normal and one of those meetings rooms than you can see from the outside that was empty.

Next, I was in a building that is most easily described as a mall, but there were no open stores. It had been turned into a pokemon battle arena. I was Slowking (I don't even like that pokemon), and the bottom floor had been flooded with water. The water level was right up to the walkway of the second floor. Wobbuffet camped in the water and kept using Water Gun at me but kept missing because I kept running away. Eventually he ran out of uses so I chased him and kept using tackle until it fainted. It disappeared. I go to the second floor where the final opponent is, and he is trapped between me, and the edge of the battlefield which was a very high drop into the city street, much higher than a regular second floor. I say "Nothin personnel, kid..." and push him off.

At this point, I find myself on some sort of coast, walking deeper onto the water (not into). I guess it takes a lot of energy because I faint and I can see the side of myself. I dream-wake up and a group of scientists surgically installed gills on me and everyone else that was now with me. We were still under water. End.

I dreamed that I had woken up in January of 2021 from a dream that it was 2018. I was trying to remember what happened during 2020, because it had been a very boring year.

I was in jail in China. The "cell" was only about as big as one of those capsule hotel pods, with a tiny screen with state-sponsored entertainment at the head end and a control panel with a button to call the warden, a ventilation port for fresh air and a timer showing the remainder of my sentence (1260 or so days for me).

Later, I was walking around the streets, still in China. I went into a department store, first to look at the lingerie section, then I came across a whole ton of different knockoff legos, which freaked me out enough to suddenly reappear in a local supermarket instead.

>>430
Did you ever figure out why you were in jail?

I finally had another dream worth writing about that I remembered. It's one of those nonsensical ones though.

This guy was giving a seminar on something to a bunch of people, myself included. My dream self was having a MASSIVE feeling a dejavu, feeling like I had already dreamed about this seminar, but my real self has never been to a seminar at the location before (closest description is an elementary school cafeteria, which the folding tables and benches). I remember walking to the bathroom and looking at a mirror and seeing nothing out of the ordinary.

Next thing I know, I'm sitting in the bad of a pickup truck, looking up at all of the passing trees. Quite relaxing. I stop a pinata of a Brazilian flag, but as we pass it, it seems to completely disappear using camouflage (green and black against the shades of trees). We stop, and I appear in the tree tops, playing video games with some gray tigers above the TV.

Last thing I remember was having to take a test that was in Japanese and I (real self) haven't studied it in a really long time so I failed.

I was in a ruined city, surrounded by bodies and rubble. There were a few living people, but we didn't acknowledge each other. I was foraging for supplies, but I knew that I had to leave, soon, because it was about to get worse. I heard a noise, and saw the body of a woman, encased in some sort of viscous substance, which was bending her body. I saw several of her bones snap, and I wondered whether either she or the substance were alive. At that moment, I knew that it had become worse, and that I needed to leave immediately.

The city had clearly defined walls, and once I passed them I was in some sort of grassy plain. Even here, there was rubble, but this was a different sort. I passed the broken pieces of huge stone maces and swords, each of which must have been thirty feet long. Where the pieces had fallen, the grass itself had turned to stone. I made sure to give a wide margin to those places. There were no signs of what things had wielded the weapons.

As I continued, the sky began to darken, not from the sunset, but as if the city behind me were sending out dark clouds. I began to panic, worried that I wouldn't be able to outrun the darkness even in the short term. Gradually, I started hearing voices from around me (above?). They sounded like proud, evil children, and they were making bets with each other on how long I would last. I tried very hard to listen, hoping they would let slip some useful information about what was ahead of me. Some of them started cackling, and as I tried harder and harder to listen, I woke up.

I'm hanging out at a house in the country with some older people I know. I see a big, strange plane with a flat front flying low. There's a similar one behind it. Suddenly both planes crash into the ground, one in front of the house and one behind it. There's a huge sound and I know everyone on board is dead. Three or four more planes crash, I lie on the ground with my head covered, and then I wake up.

I dreamed that I was playing a hunting video game for the PC. The graphics looked like they were from the late 1990s. I had spent a great deal of time trying to beat the game on medium difficulty. Eventually I did beat the game even though it was miserable to play. I was then reminded that I hadn't beat the game on hard mode.

>>428
you ever take melatonin before sleep
>>420
www nice 420 get tilda

>>436
I'm >>428. I haven't taken melatonin specifically, but I know that it's one of the vitamins included with the one I consume.

I was hired to implement some kind of message bus for showing real-time diagnostics. When I looked at the requirements manual and saw the front-end prototype I was supporting (which was directly LCARS), I realized we were building some kind of spaceship. Everyone in the dream was someone I'd worked with in real life, except for the girl who was supposed to be my partner (I think she was responsible for the medium/long-term diagnostic system, and I for the real-time portion). She laughed at my dumb jokes about the various C standards, referred to C++ as ‘sepples’, and kept smiling at me in a way that was far beyond professional. I didn't recognize her from any of my waking memories, but she seemed to know who I was.

---

I don't think I've ever had a more pleasant dream. It makes the real world seem that much more grey and uninteresting.

Miles Davis was giving me shit about my solos while I was giving him a ride home from the gig, so I left him at a train stop surrounded by cornfields.

Sounds like a nice dream >>438-san

>>439 warota

but don't play the butter notes next time

>>441 Can't help it. I used to play 4th Tenor sax in big bands a lot. In those five part harmonic sax solis, my part got all the flavor notes. Practicing alone, the lines made no sense. I stand up to blow a solo, same thing happens.

Anyway, just had one of those mornings where I kept dropping in and out of sleep for a few seconds at a time, and in one of those dream shorts, I was looking out my apartment window and saw a kinda mousey girl in another apartment spot me looking. She mushed her tits up against the window and then ran back out of view.

So yesterday I had a dream with my family. I don't think I ever had a dream with my entire family in it before. And it's not even a big family, just my sister and my parents.

Anyway, we were home, preparing some food. Then we were getting out of our car, and old red Toyota, on what looked like a leafy avenue with rows of plane trees on both sides. My dad was pushing a cart full of baguettes (not the food we were making earlier, but whatever). And we were going to the park to have a picnic. But after crossing the road, my mom lost sight of us and started walking in the wrong direction.

My dad tried shouting her name, several times, but to no avail. I decided to go after her because I was worried she would get lost. My dad seemed to have given up and headed to the park with my sister.

I quickly caught up with my mom and we turned into a street with run-down brick apartment blocks. We didn't say a word as there was a loud group of local teenagers on the street just having a jolly time. Then something very strange happened. I dreamt that this dream makes me, the adult who is dreaming it, long for those careless teenage days of the past like those teens were having. Ones I never really had, myself.

Anyway, we continued walking, and my mother, a teacher, said something to the effect of how wholesome that group was. I tried to explain that we are going the wrong way, she insisted we aren't, but we looked at iMaps and there was a railway line separating us from the park. We just decided to turn back, and walked past the rowdy group once more. Our eyes met with one of them, a blonde girl who I think in real life I have seen in the music video of Skepta's song, Shutdown. She smiled at me, at which point my mom bumped me with her elbow and said "Son" in a patronising tone.

We walked back, towards the park, but found it completely empty. There was lush green grass and trees as far as we could see, but no people. We walked for a while but as it started to get dark, we turned back, only to find that the park extended endlessly in the direction we came from, too. Only vegetation, no people or buildings could be seen.

Then I woke up.

Have a nice day,
-gv4ullctdor

Had a dream that the whole drama around it was orchestrated, and that Barkley 2 was actually almost finished and ready to be released. Somehow, in my dream, I realized that this was a dream and got disappointed, but then I managed to convince myself that it was actually real, in the form of all the ToG people convening on a large stage and performing some elaborate ceremony. At some point they started playing a video (apparently from 2015, reminiscent of a low-budged school play) of a confrontation between several knockoff Star Wars characters.
This was interspersed with a different scenario on a city on an island, where I first was a bus driver on the first day of my job and had to figure out my route. Later on, I was in a fighter jet, trying to intercept a nuclear missile that had apparently been launched as a test. I was unable to stop it, and accepted that it was going to hit the ocean. I flew back to the island, landed near my secret hideout bunker, and started preparing for the blast. Mostly by telling all friends, which were in there for some reason, to unplug their electronics and by closing the blinds.

I live in the USA, and I dreamed that I was at one of the greatest events for fans for rally car enthusiasts. There were Subarus and Mitsubishis for miles. There were a few of the less common rally cars sold in the USA. I then saw someone arrive in a Lancia and I was really excited to see it. A few other people at the show noticed it. I woke up was I was approaching the driver. I wanted to ask him how it drove when compared to other rally cars.

I was on a mission to sabotage some piece of hospital equipment but the best I could do was to break a little adjustment handle on its stand. Then I tried to get out, but every time I thought I'd found an exit, it led to another huge open room with people milling around and gigantic devices suspended under the 20 story high ceiling, or a huge combination restroom and swimming pool, or this big conical tower of glass and catwalks with a giant antenna assembly in the middle that would pulse hard enough to feel in my guts. Through the windows, there was nothing but grassy hills all the way to the horizon.
In one room, a little girl in a hospital gown asked me if she was pretty. Her nose was malformed and had little zits on it, so I said no.

This was a pretty long dream. I remember bits and pieces of some sort of post-disaster world, with ruined cities and various other things.

The bit I remember was at the end. I was investigating something or other, and I ended up at a technical trade show. A company was advertising their system for performing rapid chemical analysis of something-or-other in an unmanned environment (I think it was somewhere on the moon). They showed a demo of an existing space shuttle-like vehicle, and how their system allowed transport of samples without modifying the shuttle design. There was a CGI simulation of the process. As the simulated shuttle landed and the machinery went into operation, there was an explosion on-screen and the demo went dead.

I had managed to get into the good graces of one of the technical people (call them N), so I was able to watch while the various executives and directors frantically tried to figure out what had happened. It turned out that the CGI simulation had ended, the explosion had come from the next thing that was supposed to be shown in the video: an interview with the genius who developed some of the compounds needed in the process. I think they were called the HCL2020Z series, and they were very, very tightly kept secrets.

There was more confusing investigation, and I ended up inside the house/office of some executive, whose family ran the whole department (one of those cackling old women who issued orders from her bed). It turned out that their development process involved binding some kind of demon onto one of the employees. The HCL2020Z series was too complicated to be understood by a mere mortal. The current host was the "genius" who was to have been interviewed: his human part had regained enough control to attempt suicide just as the video feed switched.

At all times, there was a current host of the demon, and another technical worker selected as "acolyte": one named by the host at the instant of possession, who was next in line and was granted some knowledge of the technicalities. Control of both host and acolyte would allow one family branch to oust the others, and completely control the chemical department. I forget all the character names, but at this point, with the current host dying in a hospital, there were all sorts of Mexican stand-offs and double-crosses to choose the next host/acolyte pair.

After a shoot-out, my friend N ended up as host. As the last double-cross, I was named the acolyte without anyone but me and N knowing. In the resulting confusion, I tried to escape.

The last thing I remember was trying to board a moving freight plane that was leaving the research lab/mansion/factory/whatever. I pleaded with the pilot, who laughed and asked for some kind of bribe. I looked around for something, anything, and by the power of the acolyte, I scrawled the structural diagrams of the first dozen compounds in the HCL2020Z series, somehow in a Fraktur script, on the side of his plane, where his observation cameras could see them. Astonished, he let me on, and that's when I woke up.

I was looking up an Internet meme in Japanese based off a Korean tourist getting food poisoning from tainted seafood but not stopping eating it. ムカムカ something or other.

My brother became a VIP and I kept trying not to embarrass myself in front of his handler, a really hot blonde named Buttons, except she was dropping huge hints like leaving a magazine with a cover story about "people who want to become living pillows (no really)" (no, really) and not leaving when I couldn't stop myself from opening two tabs of hentai, and also brought her friend along later

anyway basically the only reason we didn't bang is probably because i have no experience and my family was there

Someone named "Antoine Internet" was leaving hang-up messages on my old Casio wristphone/calculator watch while I was involved with a Space Diversity Action Team(tm) adventure which fizzled out half way through, even though I got to bone the shy little Arabian girl on the team while we were alone on the bridge.

Actually, I think she was Japanese and just dressed like an Arab girl.

I dreamt that Chinese agents had released a horrible disease into the entire west coast of America, north and south, and I was hiding from it in a sealed room with a few friends, who changed into different friends every time I looked around. I opened a door into a huge underground arcology like a 30 story shopping mall or hotel with this giant open space. Chinese spies came in from another door and I flew into the arcology to escape them, zipping around giant columns and escalators while they shot at me with some kind of energy weapons.

I had that dream a couple of weeks ago, and now I see this in the news: https://people.com/health/cases-pneumonic-plague-found-in-china/

holyfuck

>>451

>I dreamt that Chinese agents had released a horrible disease into the entire west coast of America

That wasn't a dream

I had a dream I dug a hole to my uncle's house and I was playing some obscure shmups with his twelve yr old daughter. She's really weird and she loves seeing me when I come over during family holidays.

I dreamed I went to the store and bought a box of Mentos and when I opened the box it was full of gummy lifesavers (which I despise). I went to the cashier and demanded a refund, but he refused to give me a refund and said he would give me a coupon for some donuts and 6% off a box of Mentos. I got angry and I started making a scene and some 12 year old girl was watching and laughing. I attempted to choke the cashier with a soft prezel and got thrown out. The End.

Wasted a lot of time reading an old, long-winded site I made (with terribl teenage-quality jokes, although one innuendo I can't remember was particularly good in its audacity). Tried to recover an old game I made that was on it that was a parody "sequel" (The Queen of Sheba 3) of a game with infamous Engrish. Although I had bragged about it being only 25kB, archive.org didn't go that far. I felt "Wow, I forgot I made all this. I have lost touch with the creative energy I used to have."

There was a lot more to it, but I only remember these details because of how detailed it was.

Also neither that site nor that game was a thing I did, of course. They merely sounded like things I plausibly would have done if my life weren't so fucked up.

Last night I had a dream that my reality-crazy mother took an 18-wheeler and drove through as many mansions as possible. When I exited the truck, I was looking for my computer in order to tell my two reality-important online friends that I was going to kill myself shortly due to being unable to afford the damages. However, I couldn't find a keyboard and there is no way that I would kill myself without saying my goodbyes to them (in reality), so I never got to the suicide part in the dream either. I found a whole bunch of N64's though instead of keyboards. Apparently I was somehow in my childhood home because I recognized the TV that I used to have and my computer desk was where it belonged just without the PC. Also we did not live in a mansion so the transition between the mansions to my room is a mystery.

I had a dream where I saw western otaku women showing off the gifts they got from their Japanese boyfriends. I then started to wonder who is better off, western otaku women with Japanese boyfriends or western otaku men with Japanese boyfriends.

My beloved dream-uncle who owned (and apparently lived in) a pizzeria died in a fire that destroyed the whole building.

Read a medium-decent doujin

Wish I could remember enough details to bring it into existence.

Kissed a ginger girl in secret

I dreamed that I was in a huge investment firm, and somehow the mainframe took data from my computer and revealed my embarrassing fetishes to all kinds of people at the firm. They were all mad as hell.

I had a dream I returned to a former job, and everyone I knew was still there, but the whole company had pivoted to making apps and infosites about frogs and toads. Everyone had a frog or a toad on their lap, the whole floor was crawling with frogs and toads, the whole office was decorated to look like a rainforest and also this guy came over and started showing off his toad expertise and explained to me how to recognize a frog from a toad in the wild, and then asked me to pet his toad because he thought it was very cute. It wasn't, it was a very disgusting toad.

Was in some series of tunnels where people lived.

While we were traveling (kind of a paranoid voyeuristic atmosphere, think of Indiana Jones in "Temple of Doom" watching the human sacrifice), one of the mercenaries (female) lagged behind and did a sort of horror-movie "don't do this thing that's very easy to not do" and used a moment of privacy to masturbate, which turned out to activate a large statue nearby (that wasn't apparent before) and then the raider faction (they had a name, don't remember what) yeeted in from a side path. Not sure if the two were related, the timing was too sudden.

I dreamed that I won a limited edition Sig Sauer handgun, but I immediately had to hide it from my roommates. I didn't have time to find something lockable, so I buried it under some clothes. I can't remember exactly what kind of Sig Sauer it was, but it was 2 tone with wooden grips. I'm guessing it was a P226.

I and an old friend were going to a new high-tech amusement park and I was really looking forward to it. We got there, my friend ditched me, and I found myself wandering around an abandoned luxury resort in some abandoned part of a city that a bunch of families made their ratty little homes in. While looking for him and the park, I found a speedboat then woke up before I could drive it around.

I got into a fist fight with a girl, then had to run away in a cargo ship.

I don't recall exactly what was I dreaming, but I distinctly remember Fortunate Son blaring literally fucking everywhere, really weird shit.

For some reason I had to drink two beers at once. I don't drink often or much (and accordingly have next to no alcohol tolerance), and I don't like the taste of beer.

(It was Valentine's, though...)

Grandma wanted to post here

I dreamed I got a job and had to show up for a 10 AM shift tomorrow.

In retrospect, it was more of a nightmare.

I dreamed a country singer and I bombed a truck together.

I remember going on a Green Lantern amusement park ride. The ride was similar to an airplane motion simulator, and it followed Hal Jordan and other lantern ring wearers to battle some badguys. I don't remember the ride being any better than similar amusement park rides. I just didn't expect one to be based on Green Lantern.

I had a dream where I had an Ipad freeze up. It was stuck on a page full of Cardcaptor Sakura lewds. Someone else wanted to use it, and was getting impaitient. I was doing every trick I could think of to hide the lewds, but I didn't know much about how to work with Apple products.

I was looking up a wiki article and it was remarkably detailed. What I can recall of it reads as follows:

"Cocainius" is a surgical procedure performed only at Sacred Heart. It consists of ... "up the tonsil's nose." In the final episode, the procedure, and the hospital's financial future, came under doubt when ... discovered that its results came about because ... into the spine.....

I had a dream where I woke up and went to the kitchen. While preparing breakfast I dropped a bread slice on the floor, which scared me and made me actually wake up, confused as to what had happened.

I was looking at dailies for a new cartoon that was supposedly based on Twin Peaks, but the only thing it had in common was the theme music. The cartoon itself involved a giant harp seal and a tiny walrus doing old Tom & Jerry routines at sea, as interpreted by John K.

It wasn't cute or funny, so it got cancelled before the first toon was finished.

I dreamed that I got a Steyr AUG that shot 12 gauge shotgun shells.

I was working with an old coworker on hunting down the source code for Atari's Star Raiders so we could modernize it a bit. The disassembler we were using for some reason also rendered a pleasingly 8-bit summer day in the background with little 8x8 pixel sprite kids flying kites and running around aimlessly, as simulated kids often do.

When I woke up, I googled for the source code and found someone had done it about five years ago, with much useful commenting.

I had a nightmare my toenails were being forcibly clipped and the person doing it was complimenting me on how nice they looked and how well cared for they were

I was cuddling a cute girl I know, but she kept periodically slipping her hand between my legs and trying to finger me, and it really spoiled the mood.

I had something like sleep paralysis, and most of my body seemed dead weight. I was also extremely tired, so much so that it was an effort not to fall asleep (asleep within the dream, that is). I was lying at an angle that made it difficult to see the corner of the room in the direction of my feet. When I did twist myself to look, that corner was hidden in unnatural shadow. There was a sound coming from within the shadow.

After several attempts, I shook off some of the paralysis, crawled onto the floor, and pulled myself (my legs did not work) towards that corner, hoping to confront the thing making the noise. I then noticed one of my spare coax cables discarded on the floor. The connector had been neatly disassembled. I knew then that whatever was hidden in the shadow was carefully preparing to cut off all my means of communication with the outside world, and in such a way that repairs could be made later.

As I realized this, I fell asleep. My last thought was that this was certainly a dream, because I had never felt this tired before.

Running on foot at highway speeds (on a highway) with rent-a-friends trying to get home from my high school (IRL it's a drive along one road that takes about an hour due to rush hour traffic) as soon as possible.

Somehow this led directly to abandoned construction that was falling apart and we were climbing up in it. Good times.

I was going to make an X-Men movie where superpowers were going to be an allegory for disability and by the end there shouldn't be any superpowers featured in the movie at all (focusing entirely on the human aspect), and it was going to be the best superhero movie ever made.

I advised my father--who has had more and better booze in a 1960s frat than I will in my entire life--that it's recommended to put a couple drops of water in neat whiskey (okay, that's just an opinion albeit a popular one that many producers of fine whisky endorse or approve) but/so if you mix whiskey and vodka (wtf?) don't bother.

Dream-me also gives bad life advice sometimes too!

I had a dream that I met an old man with a 1971 Nissan GT-R. He bought it when he was new. He needed some repair help and I gave it to him.

I dreamed that the Disgaea 1 crew were besieging a McDonald's restaurant and (as usual) Etna had a plan to betray Laharl at the last second and usurp his title. This time she planned to have the support monsters she hired hold him down and give him brain surgery to alter his brain and make him think he was her vassal, but when they opened up his head there wasn't actually a brain in there, just a bunch of little plastic balls with personality traits and motivations and what not written on them. The only relevant alteration she was able to make was to throw away one of the little balls that had "hates McDonalds" written on it.

All I remember is that there was a pig involved. It looked like Waddles from Gravity Falls, not like a real one. Someone picked it up even though a big hawg should be too heavy for that.

(Then I woke up and rolled Circe in FGO. Pathetic, I know.)

(Bonus: the other day I had a dream about trying not to get into Internet arguments after a day of trying not to get into Internet arguments)

It was all so clear to me. In order to create the perfect set theory, I just needed one extra symbol. It would mean “Not Balder than Gödel”. But what would I call it...

Soldier 76 is juking around in that goofy Overwatch way that makes the head hitbox spaz out. But this is indoors. Hanzo asks why he's doing that and Soldier just says "You will." as a bullet trail misses.

This comeback seemed a lot more clever while I was asleep.

i tried to scream but my head was underwater

Nuclear air raid sirens, and I had to run into the basement to hide. But it ended up being a false alarm somehow.

Later on, a GTA-like dream. My father was killed after his plane got shot down, and to pay off a debt collector, I went into a building and started killing Asian college students.

I dreamed that I created a fake computer review channel. However, all it reviewed was shovelware and abandonware demo discs from the 1990s.

>>491
Please follow your dreams

I had a hand crank gattling gun that I was shooting off in a local grocery store to show off.

Two incidents of being filmed against my will and having my clothes stolen by hooligans...

>>496
It's been added to the "Text Art" formatting option, so as not to break AA in narrow windows.

had a dream that a friend and I were watching a v

Went lucid in my last dream and told some punk who'd been hassling me throughout the dream that when I wake up, he's going to cease to exist.

Punk said "yeah, right." then I woke up.

OWNED!

>>499
Cease to exist? No, the punk is alive and well in the dream world. In fact, from his perspective, you're the one who randomly fell over and died! I bet he's laughing at you right now, thinking "What a chump, I bet he didn't realize he's the one who was going to disappear!"

I had a dream Richard Spencer was making a video on how to make a grilled cheese sandwich in a toaster where he was squatting and looking down at the camera set on the floor. Also his physical form was Louis Theroux, and he said something about how a pickle slice is X mm thick which means you can get Y slices of pickles out of 1 whole pickle.

I went on a walk at midnight then realized I needed to be somewhere, so I started running and there was fat guy walking in a dark alley. He noticed I was running toward him so he tried to jog away afraid I might be trying to mug him or something. He gave up due to being fat and I just ran past him anyway.

And then I was at a bar playing with a Sprite can while waiting for someone and thinking about how if you shook it up and poked 2 diagonal holes on opposite sides it'd spin. I later applied that principle to shooting some sort of zombie creature so it'd spin around from the blood.

There was a massive fire pit dug in someone's yard. Around 8'x20'x15' (WxLxD) and made of brick. It had 3 big bundles of wood in it with some space in between them. We set the fires and kept throwing in dried plant matter to keep it going. I almost fell in after stumbling on the corner of one of the bricks when bringing more plant matter from a nearby hill.

Also at some point between all this there was a modern made map like you'd find on Wikipedia of Khwarazm. It was colored in a medium blue with some surrounding regions in a lighter blue. This was right before the Mongol invasion. This image was "fullscreen"

My bed was seriously overheating and I had to resolve the fact that a 4 ft tall heater was directly beneath it.

(My body temperature is running a little hot IRL after switching to a more meat-based diet)

I ate a head-sized portion out of a torso-sized loaf of bread in a few bites, but I was still hungry....

I left my siblings at a cafe to do some business, but when I returned I found that they were on their way out and had thrown away my giant salty licorice rat. This angered me, and my brother went to buy me a new one, but when I offered to pay because I saw how upset he got, the staff got really pissed off at me...

A bunch of really primitive 3D character models were bopping to music. The only one I remember distinctly is Cloud from FF7 because he was the most complex model there. Some were SNES sprites that had been voxelized.

(This is the third night in a row involving tunes that came from my head but that I don't remember. A pity, I have trouble inventing those.)

Im tired and kinda stressed and im going to sleep soon.

I was living with my uncle, Erwin Rommel from the Wehrmacht, who had a bizarre thing for collecting abortions and miscarriages (not sure if he was eating them or feeding them to his cat). I found one on the pavement, in some weird format that was a mix of an MTG card and a wojak spinoff variant (e.g. "aborted cool wine aunt") (but still representing a physical fetus somehow); the only flavor text I remember is:

>glad that it's dead
>has no nutritional value
>(something about being in a catastrophic state (I think the words "biblical mess" were used))

People determined social status by comparing wrist-worn water filters by their design, extra features and build quality. The world was all in dark greys and apart from the filters, everyone wore dull black outfits. My filter was functional, quick, but old and most people shunned me.

In the dream the catgut frets on my instrument were actually made of some sort of plant fiber instead. It had been sitting around in its case for months and I guess the humidity brought some of the plant matter in the frets back to life and they had grown thick roots that looked like bean sprouts with conical subroots growing from them. 2 of the had grown long enough to penetrate the skin membrane on the body of the instrument which made me mad because it's a pain to replace. It was quite disgusting.

Nuclear war was announced, but apparently only a single bomb was dropped (I was told on either Australia or Denmark, but later it turned out to be a piece of land in Egypt with some ethnic disputes). In preparation for the upcoming evacuation (?), the government started setting up food carts at the nearby gas station, and even airlifted in a weird garbage bin (for whatever reason) using a helicopter.

I had a nightmare that while vacationing in a foreign vaguely Nordic country a crazy many was stalking me and my friends and family and killing every one of them in front of me just to taunt me. He left me alone though.

There was some sort of work being done on our front lawn by a man in a hard hat. It seemed to be some electrical work. A large ditch had been dug up that was filled about 3/4 of the way with water on the front of the lawn. The water was presumably from rain. I was talking to the man in the hard hat when I noticed a catfish in the ditch. We decided it must have blown over from a lake by the wind during the rain storm which supposedly happened on some previous day. He told me about how Shad Gaspard was in some Fassbinder movies. A clip played over the dream of an adult Shad Gaspard with a shaved head and some strange goatee on a set that looked similar to Kamikaze 1989. When the dream went back to the front lawn, instead of a catfish it was 3 spiders swimming in the water but this wasn't abnormal or a transformation. It had always been spiders. We were worried since there were multiple spiders they would breed in the water. I harassed one with some sort of object that looked like a really wide, short, slotted bar spoon. Then the man in the hard hat looked at a buried wire and told me that our house was subscribed to Tim and Eric. I didn't want a Tim and Eric subscription and asked if I could get a refund since we didn't actually subscribe. The man in the hard hat said I had to call Tim Heidecker directly and (I think) gave me the phone number. My wife placed the call but couldn't explain the situation properly so Tim thought it was a prank call and treated it like a bad comedy bit. I took the phone and explained the situation clearly, but he kept acting like it was a prank. At that point I knew he was pretending to think it was a comedy bit and just didn't want to cancel the subscription. I think it got cancelled, but I don't recall much after that point.

I found myself treading water well away from shore. To one side, there was a city block-wide pier of streets and skyscrapers stretching out to the far horizon. No boats though. When I woke up, my legs were out from under the covers.

Working on cleaning up the grade crossing for the heritage railroad near my grandparents' house, when suddenly three cars (without any locomotive) rushed over the crossing, stopped and went back across it the other way, and then went over it again, over to the other grade crossing which is located in the busiest part of town. A crashing sound and a bunch of honking ensued.

I wanted to buy candy, but my card got declined and I got a phone call from the NEETbux authority saying that they had been monitoring my spending and had locked my account due to excess candy purchases.

Also later on, somebody created a weird cannon that used ambient air pressure (???) to shoot an inflatable space capsule at the moon. The concept attracted all the tw*tter schizophrenics, who wanted to try it out.

I got kidnapped by a clown that kept his robotic son alive through the suffering of dying conservatives, being forced to participate in his plans. Other children were with me, resigned to the same fate. I eventually found a bed-vehicle and drove back home, getting to a mattress store on the way and doing drifts in it.

based clown

My dream was inappropriate.
I cannot share my dream with DQN, for it would reveal too much of my character to the scrutiny of the Elitist Superstructure.

I dreamt that channel4 added a special board that was an in-browser 3D world. First thing I tried to do was to figure out how to download and archive the world, but it turned out to be impossible as the world was rendered on the server, with only frames being sent to the browser. So then I just explored for a bit; the world was a weird mix of the internet and the high school I used to go to.

A red haired woman who identified herself as Brigid, angrily shouted at me. That turned me on. She forced me to trim her bushy red pubic hair, but didn't mind me licking her a little. Then I was looking for mineral water in the corner store, and realized, in long additions errors accumulate in proportion to the square root of the number of terms, not linearly.

I was eating an incredibly tasty cake, kinda like cheesecake (the non-baked variety) but really it wast just a bunch of fluffy vanilla cream on pie crust.
At the same time, I was listening to a very cool music track, supposedly modified from one of the stock mp3 files bundled with Kareha.
These two events were somehow one and the same thing.

>>521 That's a cream pie

Had a dream the gas station I buy cigarettes from hooked up an n64 to their security TV and they were playing Pokémon stadium and I won one of the cups but then the people in line told me that they need to buy gas and I was hogging the line because for some reason you needed to stand in the line at the cash register to play.

Aside from family drama that was happening, AC Milan opened a university in my small seaside Texan town and they were giving red and black checkered gear and I was considering transferring there.

Alice from Touhou being really excited for an easter egg hunt

I forgot what led up to this, but I perceived as fact that a chimpanzee communicated "I AM BURGER HOLE" and that shit was too silly for me to stay asleep

Usada Pekora invited me to her boudoir after I won some sort of contest, but insisted I put on makeup first. The part I remember is thick white foundation and blue-green eyeshadow, though there was more to it than that. She also gave me a pair of tighty whities to wear.

Putting on makeup is hard, and the dream ended while she was looking at me in disappointment following my earnest attempt.

Note: When conscious, I have never thought of Pekora as particularly desirable. If I could fuck a hololive it would be Lamy.

Living with my family and various pets in an apartment complex that disallowed them. Our dog escaped, and I went to our ground-floor neighbor to look for it. Even though he seemed very friendly (and almost sad over not being able to help me, seeing as I had been "so nice"), it was heavily implied that he had actually beaten our dog to death with his cane because it had been annoying him, and he knew that we'd be fucked if we went to the custodian for help.

i and another guy were playing with our dicks in the shower
he managed to jerk me off, but i was not able to figure out the right motions to get him off

i swear i'm not gay...

I got arrested for hanging around with high school kids, I was a high school kid, until I was getting arrested.

Due to strict noise ordinances in our area, some guy remote-teaching a class and talking too loudly (or using a buzzer/bell, can't remember) was technically committing a grave felony, and some of my neighbors went outside in the middle of the night to go looking for him. I tagged along, but while trying to find him I accidentally ran too loudly, and was admonished for it. I decided to go back to my house first (and maybe bring along a sibling or two), but as I touched the front door it opened and there was no one inside it.

The only thing I remember is walking outdoors with my new birketstocks.

Dreamt about buying jeans again.

Had a dream that I was looking for a youtube channel that had a small video series about exploring bike paths in my old hometown, but I couldn't find it. Woke up to discover that I couldn't find it in real life either (probably didn't exist in the first place).

I was playing a PC strategy space sim from the DOS days where you spent years going from star to star trying to find a new home planet. The actual trip spiraled through a real star map and gave me the uncomfortable feeling of flushing the human race down a toilet.
I limped into the farthest star system on the map on fumes, found a perfect new earth, and the endgame was so unsatisfying that I felt like my crew and colonists were the loneliest bastards in the whole universe.

I kinda want to make that game now, except not so depressing.

I have started taking sleeping medication and I have been having extremely vivid dreams except instead of the extreme nightmares most people have they have been extremely mundane.

For example, last night my dream was about having a cigarette and enjoying it.

>>536
What a coincidence. Last night I dreamt about smoking a paper cigarette and feeling some guilt for doing it in a non-smoking area even though everyone around insisted there was no tobacco so it's fine.
(I have never smoked in my life and likely never will. Can't, lungs too shitty which is probably why I dreamt this. This only added to the discomfort and absolutely unrealistic experience of taking huge drags for practically no burn.)

I was in three different SOL comedy animes.
In the first I was working at Mc○nald's and it was unsanitary and disorganized. My co-workers mocked me for starting my acting career as an extra in 2002, which they claimed was "the same year as Fatal Attraction 2" (wut?), so I got to wear "Fatal Attraction 2 2.0" on my name tag. I failed to organize files for the assistant manager. I wanted to quit on the second day, meeting the owner at a fancy skyscraper party and realizing it was never going to get better. Oddly enough, I don't remember any food or kitchen equipment.
I forgot the second as soon as I woke up. I was sure it had good bits, and that's why I remember there were three.
The third was school themed and the best of the bunch. Everything from senpai criticizing my font selection (on hilariously politically incorrect pun signs to put on classrooms, which I wish I could remember) by printing it the wrong color to my elementary school best friend improvising a 5-minute EDM piece with a massive drop in the middle of a lunch conversation about arthritis ("Pianist's -ts -ts -ts -ts -ts ... [...] ... FINGER").

In a game exactly like Overwatch but with different characters there was a stage magician guy/gal whose ult killed you by psychically reminding your character of its most embarrassing academic performance.
One unexplained transition later, I'm back in high school getting back homework at the end of the year, and cookies.
Another unexplained transition and we're at a black market of sorts where you have to buy your embarrassing homework back.
And finally I'm walking about in college and we're having a laugh discussing the magician character because some of the characters are dumb as fuck and wouldn't be affected by something like that.
(I have regrets about 22 years of schooling, yes)

Me and a friend were on a day trip to Scotland.
I lied to a friend in uni about playing youth football for Celtic and he demanded me to eventually produce proof which made me wonder if I should have lied about playing for a smaller club like Partick Thistle or Falkirk. then on the bus transfer to London there was a really creepy guy at the stop so we just stayed on the bus until we couldn't anymore and then we were eventually stranded in Edinburgh trying not to get killed and looking for people who were awake but not dangerous.

>>540 Sounds like Gordon Ramsay

I had two dreams that I feel were worth cataloguing lately. You guys should try glycine + l-theanine before bed for dreammaxxing.

1. I remember this because before bed I said a quick prayer, which I hadn't done in a long time, especially not a Christian prayer: "Jesus Christ, son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner. Amen." and was asleep immediately.

I was walking in the woods and had been lost for days, when I stumbled into a clearing and came upon a small village and fell over on the outskirts. An Orthodox priest with a long gray beard found me, noted the state I was in, and invited me to eat and rest with him. He took me to the local village tavern, we sat down and were about to order when I realized I didn't have my wallet or any money with me, and excused myself from the table and snuck off. After doing that I woke up immediately and couldn't get back to sleep even though I had only slept for like 3 hours at that point. I actually believe this was real and that he could have shared some kind of wisdom with me if only I had been humble enough to accept a free meal from someone of a different faith, or to let him "save" me, so to speak. Since then I've been afraid that this was God sending me a test and I failed it.

2. A friend got me a job on a fishing boat. The captain was an austere early 50s no-nonsense type woman with a secret soft side and the entire dream was in kind of a Japanese-Portuguese pidgin which for some reason was the commonly accepted jargon of sailors and fishermen in this world. There were a lot of distinct adventures: we docked in an indistinctly oriental/chinese-y trading port to offload fish, which was then locked down due to the murder of a high ranking official which we had to solve to be able to leave, we braved a sea storm, I discovered the captain's "secret soft side" by giving her a pair of earrings for her birthday when she normally didn't wear any jewelry or makeup. I woke up a couple times over the course of the night to pee and then got back into bed and fell right back asleep and continued the dream from where it left off.

I had a dream. I'm watching a late night tv, without ads and a slightly boring yet interesting movie is playing. Something about a male and a female in a big city setting, and they look like they are good with guns or something, even if they never used them on screen. I fall asleep, sleep for 5-10 min or so, wake up again, and turn tv on. Then there is something about a nude dancer with very energetic moves, and another woman who is less insane. Fall asleep, wake up. Those two finally meet, everything looks like it's the end of the world or it's all in her mind, because sky is very weird, purple and alien. Fall asleep, wake up, apparently this was some kind of trial for those two gun people, I see them with some kind of tubes near them freshly removed, probably from gas masks or something. Next those two are in a snowy park, and I'm the girl one of those two. We see a plastic "cone", white with red top, that holds another slightly bigger cone on top / inside of itself, and that one holds yet another, this whole construction kind of reminds me of icecream. We are a bit sad. He takes one red top and goes ahead, I decide to not give up and hold the whole structure. It is twice my height, but it's mostly hollow, so it's not that heavy, just very uncomfortable to hold. Also it is made from plastic, it gleams a bit. People around me look slightly amused at the sight of me holding it, which kind of amuses me. We move out of the park, one of the roads out of it is only wide enough for one person and is simply walked-on-snow. It is also L shaped for some reason. I try to cut courner by walking on snow instead of that road, I kind of fall a bit more than knee deep into it near the end, but get to the road just fine. I don't think I hold that cone anymore. I sit on the edge of that road, trying to wash dirt away from my clothes with snow. I stand in the snow, but fall deeper than I expected, now only my hand is visible outside, and only a bit of it. I start screaming for help, and afraid to move at all to not sink even deeper. Some old lady grabs my hand and starts to pull. But she slips or something, and we both fall, this time there is twice my height of snow above us. I can hear the guy and a few other people starting to dig, but they aren't sure where we are. We can breathe, but it's cold, and for some reason we think cold causes cancer. I wake up. I'm walking on the street, making my way through busy street traffic. I think "what a cool dream, I need to write it down". Then I think "Am I really awake? Could I still see a dream on the go? I probably could." I try to wake up, and I do, this time I'm sleeping in my bed. I turn on my computer and start typing this.

i had a dream of a dream that i once had whilst dreaming however in my dream i was dreaming of thigs one could only dream of doing in dreams to awake from my slumber into a dream about dreaming duplicated dreams which made me doze off into another dream o a dream that i once had

Marching through somewhere under a bizarre bridge, where some Imperial soldiers are freefiring on us, hopelessly outnumbered but untouchable and under the direct command of the Emperor (whom I believed to be the same as the one from Skyrim's Dark Brotherhood quest). I fired a bit to the side of him and it gets him in the fucking eye, killing him instantly. Takes a minute for the Imperials to realize the improbable has happened, but they stop shooting once they realize.

Years later, his replacement is some glutton named Crassus who looks like Vizzini and nowhere near as chill as the previous guy. The DB sends two of us and Mei to navigate his trap-filled dungeon of a house (in that cheesy Roman architecture that's more Hollywood than reality). It's not my mission, actually it's the other DB's. We other two are there to hold switches down and wall off his servants. It goes down without a hitch; he was caught by surprise in his bath, which was attached to a spinning secret wall. Given that some servant-lady delivered it just as we got there, he was expecting a snack, not a daedric dagger in the chest.

Dreamed of, and please don't laugh, "Harry Potter and the Nuclear Holocaust". Which was some plotline about wizards inadvertently causing the global financial communications network (???) to shut down and not restoring it in time, leading to the bombs dropping and all the 1st world nations being at each others' throats.

dreamed my father was angrily accusing me of smoking weed, which I was guilty of but trying to hide it. I’m an adult, and I’ve never smoked weed.

Was in a weird cross between my life and VtM:B which meant I was trying to hide my fangs while trying to escape some lame concert from when I played in an orchestra while exactly-my-type girls were getting in the way by flirting with me and I accidentally hit enough smooth lines that I had to explicitly self-sabotage with "girls don't usually like me" before disappearing.

Dream with a few segments Dec. 7th 2021
1: home Depot parking lot had some kind of deal outside for their canopies. Got dropped off and used a wheelchair. Two random people approached me out of the crowd, woman and a man, who tagged along for some reason.
2. Instead of going inside it transitions to me as a small sail ship, woman remains the same and dude is a kid. I had some kind work deal set up with her but apparently I was always cheating her out of chicken strips at dinner as the kid pointed out to her she for a little mad before scene change.
3: I get back into the wheelchair but it's electric. The ship stops on an island, I do some kind of race in the wheelchair that ends with me parachuting into some party on the island.
4. The descent seems to slow down and I land in front of these two underage looking girls in skimpy party clothes. The redhead said "Oh my God that's how we met?" While smiling at me before looking somewhere else into the party. Nobody else seems to be looking in my direction. I felt a bit disappointed because they clearly look underage and I don't want to be seen giving my contact information to them. I turn to talk to the blond but she doesn't seem to say anything. I somehow get a website url (forgot the name but one popped into my head) that has a dirt bike island theme. The blond is posting there and three of them are pictures of her pussy with a soda can up there, one with a clit close-up. One of them was titled "My Pit". Then look away from the site and I was talking to the blonde and I woke up.

This was a really bad one.

I met a dog with crust and slime in his eyes. I found a garden hose and washed off the slime. I think it was an English bulldog. The dog's face peeled off. I euthanized him with my gun. I felt bad. I really love dogs and don't want to see bad things happen to them.

>>549

>I had some kind work deal set up with her but apparently I was always cheating her out of chicken strips at dinner as the kid pointed out to her she for a little mad before scene change.

I had some kind of work deal set up with her but apparently I was always cheating her out of chicken strips at dinner as the kid pointed out to her. She was a little mad before scene change.

FTFY

>somehow get a website url (forgot the name but one popped into my head) that has a dirt bike island theme
>The blond is posting there and three of them are pictures of her pussy with a soda can up there, one with a clit close-up. One of them was titled "My Pit".

Fuken saved. Reminds me of that "Rick and Morty" episode where Rick made an entity from a dream a real-life entity or object.

Also I had this dream where I was trying to do some calculation via a calculator and I knew which numbers I wanted to enter, but every time but the last time I pressed the correct buttons the wrong numbers showed up. Specific numbers, letters, and words really don't show up well in dreams. Maybe me thinking of that fact caused the sorta meta dream experience with the calculator.

vc: teatch

I don't remember any details, but the gist of it was that Breaking Bad and Higurashi took place in the same universe.

I was reading a book about WWII from the German perspective. I only got as far as the introductory chapter, which consisted of several timelines of concurrent events, and a series of maps showing territorial gains/losses over the course of the war. The only big difference was that there were somehow major German insurrections in America, which were slowly being curtailed into major strongholds (in the Midwest and in New Jersey and Oregon for some reason).

I dreamt that someone answered my questions. The answers implied that "LazyTown" originally aired in the 1980s (or maybe, but less likely, the early 1990s). He described it as a musical "drepanation" [with a girl who has pink hair]. "Drepanation" is not a word, yet?

https://vid.puffyan.us/watch?v=g8iZ0HlzgUc [LazyTown BING BANG multilingual Lazy Town TV series - HD (1280x720)] - my favorite version is the English version (for obvious reasons) and the German version. How about you? Maybe if there was a Japanese version I would like it, but maybe I wouldn't.

Bing bang digabriga dong.

>>554
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dubbing_(filmmaking)
"LazyTown, an Icelandic TV show originally broadcast in English, was dubbed into Icelandic, amongst thirty-two other languages." [citation needed]

I dreamed that Byakuren Hijiri served me and my internet friends "kuso miso soup"

I was driving around a rural town in flyover country and learning all about the local population's disdain for the healthcare system due to 2-3 cases of newborn children with severe birth defects being experimented on and handed back to their parents in small pieces.

I found out some sort of "zen hockey" was a non-athletic sport played indoors in a tatami room. Players wore aikido uniforms and made all moves sitting in seiza. The puck was a flat piece of iron and pushed around as not to damage the floor.

A lot of this didn't make sense but anyways I was a referee.

Bonus moment earlier that night: some nerd was complaining about new models in games having good posture. As a line of video game soldiers went single-file through a side gate, a guy clearly from WoW three times taller than the rest came in at the end, and he was obviously the general officer of that column. Probably next the nerd would've gushed about it but I woke up and it was too early so I went back to sleep.

I was a centaur and I met a centauress with greasy blonde hair and sagging breasts. We didn't talk, just rubbed our faces together and ran together.

I dreamt of the funniest internet post I've ever read, and I laughed so hard I woke up

I gave a part of my soul to a crocodile goddess, so she would purify it. She gave me a ring in return.

The gist of it was that our solar systems was merged with another one, and the extra sun immediately raised global temperatures and flipped the climate change debate on its head. There was at least one new habitable planet, and its potential colonization kickstarted a new space race between USA and Russia/China.

I was on a cruise with my parents, and there was some kind of spooky incident. Some government CIA-like guys in suits and sunglasses were there talking to people about it, when I realized they were using some kind of device to erase people's memories of the event and I hid. After a series of chases and misdirections I managed to escape again, and I was back on land. I met a Buddhist nun, she claimed to be privy to the same secret knowledge and wanted me to go public about it with her. It was definitely something world-shattering that would have upended society as we know it. She wore no makeup, had a shaved head, and wore a modest bhikkuni's robe that concealed her figure; even so she was clearly beautiful, not in an erotic way, but with the same Madonna-like glow as a mother holding her newborn for the first time. I felt compelled to trust her and to ascribe saintlike qualities to her....

We arrived at a place she said was safe. We would hide here for now, we had been having run-ins with government agents all the while. I sat down on a conveniently placed bed. "You must be exhausted, here: hold out your hands,"she said with a warm smile, while extending her own hands towards me, palm-up. I did as she said and she took each of my hands in one of her own and started doing some sort of Reiki hand massage. I felt my whole body relax and get warm and heavy, and my eyes start to close. Suddenly, the sound of a by now familiar device... I opened my eyes and looked into hers. For just a moment, she clamped down on my hands painfully, with a strength that seemed inhuman for such a tiny woman, a member of a pacifist sect. But she saw that I still didn't tense up, and had no intention of trying to fight. She relaxed her grip, but didn't let go of my hands. I looked into her eyes once more.

"Miss <?>. Do it. I"m tired of running. Let me forget what I need to forget, just don't let me forget you."

She smiled, full of unfeigned warmth. It was as if I was looking into the shining, ever-benevolent visage of the World-Honored One himself.

"Don't worry. In a few moments you'll wake up warm in your bed. This will all have been nothing but a curious dream.... but you'll remember everything, except for my name, and the <?>".

A final flash of light, and I was in my bed...

vc: to

I caught the rona and had a fever dream about vegeta fighting various people in a big ass shopping mall in an epic battle, the dream lasted several hours in real time because the fever was keeping me in a nauseated and utterly exhausted half-awake state and i felt like absolute shit the next morning, 10/10 would never do again.

I was at a hotel because my car ran out of gas on the highway and I had to walk to the nearest town and it was already dark by the time I got there. When I was about to go to sleep, Aunn Komano called my cell phone in a tizzy to try and tell me that there was some kind of problem, but she was trying to speak English and kept stumbling over the words so I told her to just speak Japanese, we didn't have time and my phone battery was dying. Then she told me that Reimu was missing and the shrine was mecchakucha da.

I had a dream but most of it was unremarkable. Most interesting part was that this forest/swamp area was home to an outpost branch of a superhero type organization. Some stuff happened where there was a flooded spot that caused some people to be marooned while surrounded by crocodiles which wouldn't leave the water. Somehow there was a portal on the island that connected to a regular city. One of the people marooned found a purple leather hat, flat topped, wider at the top than the brim at the bottom with some fancy art on the sides -- additionally it had a sword hilt through the top and was called the hat of life. For some reason the dream had a third party faction of pirates or something? Anyhow the sword was removed and the hat was given to Bill Murray through the portal -- but he was just a regular dude and I guess nobody thought to leave the flooded island? Anyways he came back after discovering that the Hat of Life could produce an infinite length of sausage/baloney roll through the slit where the sword was in the hat.

Mom bought useless/sketchy supplements for me (as she does) and I notice the jar on the bottom of the stack is labeled "onion des onions", which is a condiment specifically meant to make your breath smell bad.

I had a dream that I had friends and that girls liked me.

Dreamt that so much trash had piled up in my room that I had to use three whole bags to get it out.

I had a dream about >>572

My dream came true!!!!!

I had a dream where I drifted a US specification Toyota AE86 across Wall Street NYC. I made sure that everybody photographed the parts that are found on the US version.

I've been having recurring dreams about being involved with my university's fission reactor program, and accidentally having one of the two cores melt down on me (followed by various activities, usually cleaning up radiation and covering up the incident). Last night was the first time the supervisors authorized me to access the control system, allowing me to finally shut down the reactor.

dreamt, among other things, that I had a detachable double ended penis that still worked that was longer than my forearm + hand.

I flew into a self harm/murderous rage because I returned to the grocer without my pie ingredients!

My Euclidean-geometrically-challenged dream brain hallucinated that the "C" in "Cola" in the "Coca-Cola" logo was topologically a hammer and sickle.

(Hate that most of my visual thoughts are warped half-impressions that can't be illustrated... but at least most of them aren't worth a goddamn.)

Dreamt that I started a document about (retarded e-drama) e-celebrities on my computer, and then a DQN hacked into it and started adding entries on his own, and we flirted using the document.

Ganondorf, Link, and Zelda are in an office in an ad for TotK. They are having an archery contest and Ganondorf has already gone. Link shoots with perfect form but it's some clunky wooden monstrosity like you can construct in TotK. Zelda is up next and after doing a graceful only-in-fiction spin, does this goof-ass awkward underhand draw at the extent of her arms' range of motion and the video slows down as she makes a retard face.

Ad #2, same setting. Ganondorf uses some magic to duplicate a brown parchment pattern for the background of a full-color strategy guide (for some reason I can tell that the large medieval-style initials in sequence spell out BLOSSOM OF JERUSALEM). Cut to a public park where there are many copies of the guide scattered about as people drop them in disgust, as it appears a raunchy image of Ganondorf is printed on every spread. But the source photo that got mistakenly watermarked on the back side of the magical photocopies was a more innocent one of him displaying plumber's crack while playing sports in the very same park, and I hear him say "oh no!" in embarrassment.

Had an odd dream recently. A very odd one, normally dreams have some sort of "narrative" to them, some amount of first-person perspective, but this dream was entirely of me "remembering" some facts and seeing visions related to them.

Facts about cucumbers.

Entirely false facts about cucumbers.

I remembered about a process called "jupering," wherein a cucumber is boiled in order to turn the pulp on the inside into a clear jelly. Then, I saw a vision of a cucumber still on a vine being pricked at the bottom, clear jelly pouring out of the puncture and forming into a transparent, jewel-like, shining, dew-like, jelly mini-cucumber hanging off of the base of the original cucumber. This is the goal of jupering, to make it so that your punctured cucumbers can produce miniature jelly cucumbers from their now-jelly-like insides. These jelly cucumbers are fragile and almost liquid, any disturbance makes them fall apart into many shining drops of cucumber fluid. Then I was remembering myself boiling a cucumber and poking it with a knife. A small jelly cucumber reforms from the jelly that leaks out of the now-drained and flabby real cucumber and collapses into clear, slightly greenish fluid. I then saw a vision of a sort of trellis corridor, with walls of cucumber vines growing like grape vines, and a man was steaming the two trellis walls with some sort of steam gun. Thousands of little drops of jelly began to pool out of the surfaces of the cucumbers, forming into little jelly cucumbers that hung off of their now-drained source cucumbers, and they began to fall to the ground, breaking apart as they fell into a rain of thousands of beautifully shining cucumber fluid droplets, scattering on the ground like jewels and quickly dissipating. This is the desired end goal, and I understood then that there is a whole industry of cucumber jupering existing for this one purpose.

Quite possibly the most beautiful dream I've had in recent memory, as odd as that is to say about a nonsense dream about cucumbers.

I'm wandering through an apartment building that didn't have walls between the apartments, so I keep straying into other people's homes while trying to find my own home I was just in.

I was a gifted an old computer. It had a cube-like white case with many ports, and the boot splash screen said "Windows 68030".

I made a post in the cute girls thread. It had something to do with Donald Trump being extremely old, and also Alaskan? I wish I could remember the exact wording so I could make this dream come true.

"Rapeman" appeared in my dream and announced that he was going to molest me. He took off his clothes, and his skin started glowing alternatingly blue/yellow. I easily thwarted his plan by waking up (ca. 2 am).

I heard a voice saying "who soils the earth has to lie under it."

Dreamt that some new card game and/or video game had become popular worldwide and that the main in-game currency was some sort of African berry.
I then went outside to find thousands of pitch-black giganigger sub-Saharan blackest-possible African laborers lining every single street, picking berries off of African berry trees that had now replaced every single normal tree. The berry industry was so lucrative that every tree by the street and in public parks had been replaced with berry trees so that the Africans could make money by selling the berries to people playing the game, as well as use them in the game themselves (the card/video game was just as popular with primitive African tribes), a sort of insane bleeding-into-real-life version of the Runescape economy.
One of the pitch-black African laborers started giving me a lecture on how the trees are a symbol of colonialism because this distinctly African tree had been brought to the West to make hw*te pipo money because of a card game. A white supervisor monitoring the laborers told me that the berries are completely inedible and useless. This was all happening right on the side of a road, these trees had formerly been ornamental trees. I then noticed that one of the berry trees had a different fruit tree branch grafted on. The African berries sort of looked like deep reddish-purple cranberries, this other fruit was bright magenta, the size of a horse chestnut, and covered in long, thick, soft spikes sort of visually resembling durian spikes (but longer and very soft). The white supervisor told me that the fruit was edible and eaten in Spain, while the pitch-black Africans insisted that it's inedible and that they have plenty in Africa and that they never eat it. Dream me was somehow already aware of its edibility, so I took a bite and it was good, but unfortunately filled with worms so I threw it on the ground.
Then I woke up.

>>588
Forgot to mention - all the African laborers were naked.

I saw the trailer of a musical called "Dies Irae". It was some kind of revenge story. It had metal songs, and all the characters were dressed in black. A woman character started a monologue with "You men are so rotten..." I also checked a paperback book about it, which described the characters, scenes, and themes. I would've watched it.

I hallucinated an entire alternate history where my website (now more than 20 years old) actually had been a successful hobbyist project for a time with contributing writers and a forum with occasional posts from all the intervening years that I hadn't even seen somehow. But it was woefully out of date and mediocre now. And yet the people who volunteered content over the years (who seemed to be Internet friends that I no longer remember) wanted to get paid and unionize((?) against me even though I made absolutely nothing from it work and they already had the rights to their stuff.
But mostly, it was not the betrayal that bothered me. It was not being caught up on the forum and responding to legitimate questions people had about the site dying. How had this been going on for years without my notice? My own site's forum, without my participation? Why was this entire new history I hadn't seen conflicting so much with what I knew to be true real life, that my site has never been and will never be what I dreamed of when I started it?
Somewhere in the middle of this, I even noticed all the dreamlike qualities like how all the answers to my inquiries were incomplete, shallow, and absurd with made-up words I can't recall. But I didn't wake up so it kept going.

Boarded a ferry on my motorcycle, accidentally dropped it and it started making weird noises. I started disassembling the engine and found that the outer rims of all the valves had seized to the valve seats, and only the inner parts were still attached to the stems. Then I woke up.

I had an otherwise unremarkable dream where I was wandering around an office building trying to find my office because that's where my custom homemade Atari 800xl workstation was and I didn't want anyone to take it since the parts are impossible to find these days and I thought "Not this dream again,"as I hooked up an ottoman with an embedded display in it.

When I woke up, I realized I'd never had that dream before.

in which Air France has a tradition of landing on a random spot in the countryside, that the passengers may loot the nearby village's bread

the people at my booth table (don't know who) in a restaurant took my steak, threw it on the floor, and insulted the cooks with a string of bizarre reasons
it turns out they had been doing an activism and inserted a spider into the meat because they were trying to poison Joe Rogan. while i consider the best hangry way to punch them in their stupid face-saving faces, I see my brother's shoelace has caught fire (because I can see under the table, as if my head was positioned at table level this entire time) and as it spreads to his sleeve he asks why it is hotter than the sun. he tries shaking it violently, which makes it worse, and I tell him "stop. drop, and roll, idiot" since I can see there's way more space under the table than in real life

There was an extremely long, thin cave. Near the beginning there was a belly crawl and then a short sump, but after that it was just like one of those perfectly straight 1m x 2m Minecraft tunnels, with some speleothems on the walls and that was it. A guy was telling me about the time he tried just walking as far along the tunnel as possible to see how far it went, and his light broke/ran out of power/something like that when he was hours in, so he had to walk all the way back in complete darkness. He kind of started to lose his mind, especially when he got too tired and had to lie down to sleep, and woke up again completely disoriented still in this pitch black claustrophobic space. He made it out okay in the end though!

Dreamed about being an anime girl getting spitroasted.

Dreamed I was playing a Contra game, but not any of the specific real ones. The colors/details were more arcade or SNES level rather than NES. At one point there was an organic/body horror sort of level that seemed to dial up the grossness compared to the usual Contra presentation of those types of themes, and in general it seemed a little bloodier and gorier than the series usually is. One of the bosses was some sort of cyborg triceratops thing. Later there was more of a slick tech lab sort of level which I lost to the boss of, a blatant Terminator knockoff (huge buff Schwarzenegger-looking dude who showed more and more of a robotic endoskeleton as he took battle damage). He kind of would charge and bodyslam you and presumably you were meant to run under him and attack from the other side when he would jump but it seemed kind of unpredictable when he'd jump. The game over screen also dialed up the horror element with an implication that rather than just being killed outright the hero was captured and implanted with an alien parasite.

I was one of those 19th century doctors who'd treat puritanical Victorian women for "hysteria" by giving them an orgasm with one of those giant steam powered vibrators except I'd just eat them out instead

Pulled a random book of a shelf at a library. The title was "THE SEARCH FOR SEXUAL INTERCOURSE" written in one of those faux-Asian Roman letter fonts, and the cover illustration was in a traditional Japanese painting style, with a wandering ronin type figure on the right while on the left a Chinese dragon and an oni were blocking his path.

I dreamed of a silly anime fight between dave strider and caliborn from homestuck, beating the shit out of eachother as walking fortresses and attack drones fell out of the sky all to the sync of an epic dubstep score.
I was enlightened with the knowledge that even in dreams dubstep sucks ass.

I've been paranoid of computer viruses for quite some time, becoming constantly nervous at the possibility of a dastardly malware slowing down my puter, having me check task manager and running virus scans.

I had a dream that I sat at my computer, browsing the net and listening to music, my desk and screen looked authentic enough plus the lack of lucidity in a dream made it so that at the time it seemed real.

Then tabs started slowing and closing, my video player crashed then attempting to open it again yielded an error message regarding missing files, my desktop refreshed and icons were messed up, everythings continuously grinded to a halt followed by a window opening for "Windows Recovery Process", but then even at that point my cursor also slowed down, all text on the window got messed up, the picture on my screen started to look as if it was melting and melting and melting... and then I woke up.

It was easily one of the worst dreams I've had made worse by and possibly emanating from my intense need to piss (no more late night over-hydration, keep yourself safe from piss nightmares people), but it also scared the fear of viruses out of me because no matter what kind of bitcoin miner or whatever I put on my PC from browsing random sites or pirating games it was never going to be as fucking bad as this.

My dreams are significantly better than waking life.
I chronically oversleep to stretch out the dreams as long as possible and struggle to wake up knowing that nothing in my day will compare to dreaming.
Then when I finally get up, I spend days not sleeping to avoid getting crushed by glimpses of a happy life again.

Dreamed that my penis fell off and then a bunch of people broke into my house and I had to leave. I was upset because my penis was still in there, on the floor, and I needed it back so doctors could sew it back on.