[BEYOND DQN] Someone else's comment from some site nobody knows [PASTE] [PART 8] (799)

1 Name: (´<_`  ) : 1993-09-10822 17:25

im drunk off my mind off of some fuking dorm room 1 dollar 15 cent fanta and half a fucling hanbdle of smiroff of vodka but banki is apretty cool characeter, aslong with allo fth the characthers from toughoug i mean a fucking girl thats hot athntthat can remove her head HOW WOWO! i mean thats cool and what about Alice thast can make doolls or rumia that can contrla darkness or marissa that can do mahiic i meka n i can even fin igh the games I fucking suck btu teh lore sand characters ofh the gamne are really cool%%%& I love ///jb/becausie of that you hustys are cringe fometimes but i love yoall i alseo lov ehowu orginall the artowkr for touhou is so so cool im ean im really fruknl buty man I love 4chan im in college but i juist hide and really nowone reall y nknows that i ike this stuff i mean how the fuck dopo i explain this shit, oh yeah i really likle artwrk from this frinkg ing bullent hell shootesrs and this websiut s

HOEVER ill post a pictires that i love of some charachtersfrom touhoi I think my cavorite caharavterfrom touthou is Yachi evnt thoiuisgh this isnt a yachi thread i dont care

750 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11383 13:54

i've been in japan for over a year now but every time i hold a kitchen knife i'm still like. hehe just like the yanderes

751 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11383 16:25

im jealous of the brits only having to put absolute infront of a word to make it an insult
imagine calling somebody an absolute helmet

752 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11383 17:02

>>751 You're acting like a couple of absolute Jeffries.

oh god it works so good

753 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11384 10:14

Say what you like about Rush Limbaugh but his journey to sobriety is admirable. 4 years sober this upcoming February. An inspiration, if you ask me. 

754 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11384 12:49

>>751 Helmet can mean the end of the penis as well

755 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11384 18:07

>>754 is an absolute penis

756 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11385 01:19

Wait, that's not even true, you can say other things that aren't insults with gabsoluteh at the start. The bouncer at the club last night was an absolute unit. Pretty much the same as gsuch ah, you are acting like such a Jeffry right now.

757 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11385 12:30

Overall, this film is a vile stain on cinematic history that should be watched by all genre fans. I highly recommend this piece of trash!

758 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11387 10:44

I donft think geese are stupid at all. I used to bartend, and would get off after 4:30am on Friday and Saturday nights. My boss would have me bring the bank bag to his house afterwards and drop it through a mail slot in his front door. The very first night he had me do this, it was real dark and difficult to see his front door, so I had my phone flashlight on, money bag in one hand, walking up the sidewalk, when I heard what sounded like a very large snake, hissing. I stopped dead, and listened and heard it again, literally hissing right behind me. I didnft know what it was for sure, but it was getting louder and angrier by the second and it was scaring me, so I turned around and ran for my car, and as I did the noise turned into a shrieking scream and something started chasing me. I ran like lightning, and almost made it to my car, when something like a bear trap clamped onto my left butt cheek. The pain was indescribable, like a dog bite that was also pinching like a clamp, I started screaming and running in circles, but whatever it was would not let go, it literally hung on as I ran screaming around the yard, smacking whatever was biting me with the money bag, trying to get it to let go. Every once in a while it would spread its wings for leverage, and lift me off the ground a little bit, hissing ferociously. I have a bite mark on my ass from that goose 30 years later, my boss had to hold me down and pry that bastard off of my ass cheek, it would not let go. So FYI, geese have large teeth and are very good watchdogs.

759 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11387 13:47

I almost got caught up in a three-way with two cows. When cows are in heat, they'll hump each other. I'm not sure why, since they're both females. Maybe the behavior is a signal to bulls that there's some hot bovine action up in the pasture.

Anyway, I was out in the field bringing in the milking herd when a couple of the cows start going at it. We're talking several hundred pounds of beef, hoofs, and horns flying around. I tried breaking them up... dumb idea.... and almost got knocked to the ground.

I swear one of the cows gave me a look that said, "you're next loverboy." I quit that scene, cause that's not how I roll.

760 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11387 15:28

Turkey toms are notoriously unpicky, and some have speculated that this is because of their anatomy -- they are physically unable to see most of the female while mating, and consequently most of her body is thus useless as a sexual signal. Some researchers trying to come up with a better way of extracting semen for the purpose of artificial insemination experimented to see just how accurate a fake female would have to be in order to get the male to perform. Turns out . . . not very. In fact, they were just as happy with a hen's severed head on a stick as they were with an entire hen.

761 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11387 18:52

Hello this is dieter meier i make music and art and im rich and own chocolate factory in aliexress

762 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11388 01:46

My novel, "Wet Goddess: Recollections of a Dolphin Lover," is a fictitious recounting of an all-out, nine-month-long sexual, emotional and psychological assault launched on me by a female bottlenose dolphin who apparently wanted to have sex with a human being out of curiosity. That we came to love each other says a lot about what our species share in common.

763 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11388 02:16

Tfw your murder machine doesnft work so you take matters into your own hands

764 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11388 11:36

I left the Christopher Nolan sub because, you know what fan boys can be like? Imagine Insterstellar remade on a corn whiskey distillery bias? NASA has gone bye bye, enormous pot stills are the answer! I want to see that movie!

765 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11388 14:35

The two brothers parents were just those kind of weird but down to earth parents? Kind of like Anime watching parents today? They had gokarts, every snack variety known to man, toys galore... BUT the family wasn't extremely well off. They just shared the money.

I kind of do that now for my kids. When we go to a store I tend to buy everyone with us something they need or want, within reason. I think it stems from my childhood where my mom would buy a jetski, but struggle to give us the 2 dollars a week for our reduced lunch. I am not extremely well off, but my kid got a 500$ electric quad for his 5th birthday because I know he will enjoy countless hours on it and thats what makes me happy.

Sorry for the random rant, I feel like I had to say all that to the universe.

766 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11388 16:43

The non human animals have the spirit of God in them doing this. That means God himself is in the innocent animals asking to have sex with us. God is not divided against himself. God is therefore not against the zoo no matter what humans would otherwise say. The non human animal does not know what bad is anymore than God knows what bad is. This is showing us we should give the zoosexual peace. Devils don't like peace. Lets push the devils away, and embrace peace.

767 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11389 00:57

Jason Vorhees vs Michael Meyers : they just stand there on opposite sides of the street staring at each other for two hours.

768 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11389 06:57

Scholars have tried to reconstruct the mechanics of some medieval automata, although most attention goes to the crazy Byzantine throne that rose and lowered and caused lions to roar and birds to sing. There's also a rich tradition of medieval Muslim authors in Spain discovering that Christian miracles and fancy show devices are powered by secret magnets in the walls. In this case, though, all we have are descriptions of the "perpetual wine fountain" itself. Which was shaped like a naked woman, of course.

769 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11389 16:25

Excuse me, I'm sorry, hey, buddy, listen, hey buddy, hey, excuse me, hey. Buddy; you can't withdraw from plent

770 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11391 09:52

You got yourself a hobo sexual. Its usually a girl that gets saddled with one of these useless pieces of crap but you got yourself a real winner there.

771 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11392 11:43

can't wait to be 30 so i can be like reimu

772 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11393 06:30

Realistically, we can look at the Nazis and their meth habit as an example. It helped them at first march very quickly, but the downsides were no joke. The hangovers after the high meant that the meth was a net lose except in short, critically important situations. With continued use, troops started to get addicted, and meth heads donft make for good soldiers. Eventually, the Nazis mostly rolled back their meth program because it just wasnft a great idea.

Now, cocaine is even more problematic in war than meth. Snorting a line will give a shorter-lived high, followed by a crash. Even if the Legions snort up right before battle, that high will last an hour tops and then they will crash hard in the middle of hand-to-hand combat. They could strategize so troops rotate out every half hour or so and rear troops do rails while the coked out frontmen hold the battle line.

Finally, Roman Legions lived and died by their level of discipline. They had to not break rank and work as a unit to be successful. If every Legionnaire is coked out of their guord, that makes for a poor formation. Even as fierce energetic troops, theyfd get slaughtered by a proper army that can decently keep an orderly line.

So to conclude, I donft think that the Romans benefit from cocaine, and probably would be worse off with it.

773 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11394 00:34

spunk cost falllacy

774 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11396 00:42

you would really have to be here to appreciate the horrific foul stench that my dog can produce. She is an English mastiff and is getting close to topping the 200 pound mark. She passes gas like a human, full on auditory and olfactory assult on the senses. To top it off her new favoret place is under the bed, which she doesn't exactly fit well. Or at all. So I can FEEL when she lets one rip too. I won't complain about the eathquake when she tries to exit her stink cave quickly becuase she finally stopped going under the kitchen table and getting it stuck on her back this running through the house with it to get it off. I have to banish her from the room tonight.

775 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11396 01:53

He gonf luv her

776 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11396 01:53

Real happiness has never been tried

777 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11396 14:41

Move fast and get a new job before anyone realizes the trail of catastrophe youfve left behind.

778 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11396 19:11

A boy raised by a lesbian couple discovers internet pr0n and discovers the joy of fapping, at which point one of his mothers introduces him to the violin to keep him occupied, the other mother however cannot stand the young violinist in the making, taking away the violin and to cope he joins forums and escapes with dank memes. The situation quickly spirals out of control with one mother assaulting the other and traumatizing the poor kid so much he now spends his time in a mental institution repeating the same phrase over and over again.

779 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11397 10:05

Science has failed time and time again to create a protein bar that tastes better than an unseasoned hardboiled egg

780 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11397 10:45

Not relevant but I was scrolling through this comment section half paying attention and somehow read "Jews" instead of "Juche". I was really excited to learn about the Jewish North Korean population.

781 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11397 14:38

>>780
A conspiracy theory that exists in basically every country maybe except NK is a perceived nonzero chance of being one the lost tribes. Pretty popular one in SK due to all the recent-ish conversions tho.

782 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11398 11:11

I thought to myself tonight while cleaning out the lint trap in my dryer, "if only this could be compressed and turned into vegan pizza crust". Looks like it's already been done

783 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11399 14:38

I stopped being surprised ages ago at all these supposedly enlightened shroomers being such superficial assholes when push comes to shove. I myself don't pretend to be enlightened at all, and get very annoyed with fat chicks. May I suggest locking her up in a bomb shelter for 2 weeks with no food just water? This will solve all your problems. When she is released she'll be skinny, and have a very light complexion, which in victorian times was considered quite erotic.

784 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11400 05:00

All he sees is PENIS, as his eyes are two ANUSholes. Yet, he his heart is strong with VAGINA!

785 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11401 14:44

That country is full of natural born killers fully longhoused
It's going to go poorly

786 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11401 20:08

And I guess Shadowfire was well-respected on the Spectrum scene. As someone who's familiar with a country in the grip of madness, and also as someone who's spent fifteen minutes trying to play one of those Dizzy games that Speccy enthusiasts seem to love, I think Thatcher-era Britons must just have been willing to put up with choices in games that offend our modern sensibilities. It does seem to have led to a lot of games that were, well, different.

787 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11402 10:53

ME: Hello computer! Please show me what I was doing recently

COMPUTER IN THE 1980's: l cease to exist when I am powered off. Please start whatever you were doing from scratch

COMPUTER IN THE 2000's: Yep here you go champ

COMPUTER IN THE 2020's: I stored 10,000 identical copies of what you were doing in 500 different global datacentres at a carbon footprint equivalent to leaving a semi-trailer idling 24/7 and also sent a copy to the FBI just to be safe. Let me know which one you want and I'll do my best to figure it out. By the way here are 10 things which are similar to what you were doing and 9 of them are ads. Do you like this? Please select "I love this very much" or "I'll be in love with this later" to continue

788 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11402 10:59

Anime girls are so beautiful. Meanwhile in the real world we have liberals...

789 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11402 12:51

In any case I stand by my claim that lover for the Dizzy games is a sign of some deep trauma in the UK gaming scene. Zero tolerance for Dizzy.

790 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11402 13:12

Yeah I'd be much more likely to play a game called "Slug" than one called "Dragon." Suggests the designers are thinking outside the box a little bit.

I don't know about Dungeons and Slugs, but Slug Age, Slug Ball Z, Slug Slayer, even Bob's Slug Hunt... these sound intriguing.

791 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11403 03:02

want to see RPGs in more settings and genres. We've got more fantasy RPPs and a good number of science fiction RPGs.

What about a sports RPG, where you get special moves with refresh and whatnot. Heck, there are a ton of sports manga about this already.

A combat racing game that uses RPG attacks and spell-type effects.

A professional wrestling RPG that well, same thing as a normal RPG but with more sweaty half-naked men and smacktalk.

792 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11403 11:28

yup and sin is ontologically good too

they don't tell you but god is just wrong

793 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11405 03:40

I talk a lot of shit, but sometimes you gotta give credit where's credit is due: Shout out to Marxist-Leninists for Successfully developing Capitalism in Russia and China. 👍

Sometimes the Domestic Bourgeoisie, content with their small fortunes and lives of relative comfort and leisure, are unwilling or unable to do what's historically necessary to transition from Feudalism to Capitalism. Under such conditions of economic stagnation, only a Centralized State controlled by a Socialist Party armed with Marxist Theory, unhindered by bourgeois morality and so undismayed by the deaths of millions of people, are able to take on the historic task of developing the material conditions necessary to bring Capitalist Modernity into existence.

On behalf of the Billionaires in Russia and China, I thank you. 🙏

794 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11405 16:56

A few years ago when I was 26 years old ,I went into an antique shop to buy something on the way home after my jogging session . The man that owned the shop must have been 80 years old . He said I have more antiques in the back room . As he was about to close he said I could stay and browse . He then put the closed sign up on door and locked it . I admit I was a little nervous, but went through anyway . It was dingy low lighting ,but something came over me and I just felt horny I canft explain it . He sat in an old chair behind this massive victorian desk . I asked him if there was a toilet I could use . He directed me through this old curtain to the toilet . When I got back he was masterbating behind this desk . He said he was lonely and please not to tell anyone . I said no problem carry on . He said in return I could have anything I wanted free . I wanted to go to the toilet again .But this time he asked me to urinate into his mouth . My husband never ask me to do that and here this old guy is asking . Ok I agreed so he laid on his back I removed my pants and I sat on his face . As I stared pissing he was gulping it down like a dry dog . He thanked me and I collected a couple of items and left . I never told hubby or anyone . I never returned to the shop after that . I did think at the time poor old guy it wonft hurt me to assist him in his wanting this . So I did . Please donft judge me a bad person ,I honestly donft know why i did it .

795 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11405 23:23

> Feel free to correct me in the comments, or I am bound to make a fool of myself in every game about Japan that I will cover.

well, my only exposition to the Sengoku period is Sengoku Rance, so I canft say Ifll be of much help there

796 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11406 10:40

THEORY: Yotsuba's Biological Parents Were Killed by the Irish Republican Army

DISCLAIMER: I know that theorizing about Yotsuba's origin is kind of pointless because (a) Azuma will probably never make it explicit and (b) it doesn't really matter to the story. But it can still be fun to speculate.

Now on to the theory:

Yotsuba is almost certainly a white European because people can tell that she is a foreigner on sight (Chapters 1 & 40). Koiwai presumably encountered her while traveling for his translation work and given Japan's massive commercial relationship with the Anglosphere ([Japan Exports By Country](https://tradingeconomics.com/japan/exports-by-country)), I think it's statistically likely that Koiwai is an English translator and encountered Yotsuba in an English-speaking country. We also know that Yotsuba is from an island (Chapter 14) and that her country of origin was apparently war-torn. Upon the manga's premier in 2003, Yotsuba is five years old so was presumably born around 1998.

Northern Ireland fits the bill perfectly: an English-speaking European island that was fraught with political violence until the Good Friday Accord in, wait for it...1998 ([Good Friday Agreement - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_Friday_Agreement)).

[Edit: Itfs been pointed out that there is no actual evidence that a war was on in Yotsubafs homeland; the idea arose from fan speculation. I think Azuma might have had this in mind in the early chapters, but therefs no way to know. I think the overall theory still works, but the alignment of the story with the end of The Troubles isnft a strong datapoint.]

As a kicker, this also makes sense of Yotsuba's name and the four-leaf clover motif. After all, the shamrock is a symbol of Ireland.

I think this theory is superior to an old speculation by u/harms_away that Yotsuba is from Crimea because it accommodates the "Island" datapoint better. The only issue I see here is the floating timeline, which could mean that the manga is set whenever the run stops, but that depends on how you interpret it. Also, I don't think Yotsuba being unfamiliar with swings (Chapter 1) is relevant because she lived with Koiwai since before she could walk and talk (Chapter 107), so presumably she was raised in Japan

797 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11407 05:49

fun game but SCUMBAG developers who lied about the road map and are always on vacation. they also have a horse locked up in their office... who was taking care of the horse when they were on vacation all summer?

798 Name: vc: naw : 1993-09-11407 10:29

believe in the trump that picked her. we don't know if he knows something we don't. trump works in mysterious ways. we must believe. we must believe in him. that is how he won. now we must believe in his healthcare and medicare. believe. believe

799 Name: ((●)トェェェイ(●)) : 1993-09-11407 21:17

i'm going to guess that i am missing light overdramatic bickering from some old people in computer rooms and smelly little girls discussing the power of friendship and some girl being like "I can t be friends with you all cause of my dark past where i lied about having rice for breakfast cause i thought youd look down on me if i told the truth that i had a burger"

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