Dang! I wanted the 1000th! haha
I've been reading and I also want to rant a little.
I'm single single single, as I always have been--nothing even so daring as holding hands, other than in a platonic way. I've liked people, and never had the nerve to confess, cause I have no confidence and I know that I'm really...odd, and thus undesirable. That, and I'm only attracted to asian guys...do you know how rare it is to see an asian guy with an american girl?
Anyway, there's this (asian) guy I like now, at the same college as me. He's amazing; he speaks three or so languages fluently, he likes cats, he plays guitar, and he is as attractive as someone could be to me. The best part is his personality: he is also odd (in different ways), somewhat antisocial, and puts off this air of confidence despite it (yes, I find all this attractive).
The first problem is that I don't have the nerve to talk to him when he is alone, only when he's with someone I know, and then it's just something like "hi". Whenever I see him in the library or whatever, I get this intimidating feeling of "He's really cool...I'm really...not. I don't deserve to speak to him." It's probably stupid to think now, when I just want to know him better so I can test what he thinks of me, but I'm dumb like that.
The second problem is that he may still have a girlfriend back in france. I was kind of shocked for a while when I found out, and then I realized that his girlfriend who may or may not currently exist is in france....I am not. And I genuinely do not believe that type of thinking is wrong. If I discovered from him that he really liked her, then I would give up. But right now, I can't stand to sit back and watch some girl halfway across the world fail to like him as much as I do.
And at the same time as I'm thinking such strong thoughts, my lack of confidence is keeping me from even being friends with him, and makes me feel more like never leaving my room. The end.
Well at least you're able to talk to him, if even just a bit. Try talking more when he's around one of your friends, since you find it hard to talk to him alone. After a bit, you should be able to feel more confident and not have it be strange that you're talking to him privately. Don't worry that he may have a girlfriend. No point worrying about it if it may not even be true. Don't bring it up right away. Bring it up when the the time is right. Overall, just be confident and don't worry if you're not cool, though you don't sound like an uncool person.
P.S. The first paragraph is really cute. Rare to see girls like that nowadays.
Can I rant too please? I'm in a mad situation, with prospective ladies everywhere, and going nowhere.
Theres one girl, who is my best friend's housemate. He's all for it but she is /s/ material and KVizzle doesn't really stand a chance. She's really nice though, sweet girl. The next girl is cute and I met her at, er, an anime thing. Not quite sure if she likes me, but signs are good. She's cute, and girls who like anime + games is always good.
Met a girl on the interwebs recently, that went horribly and was made of fail. Who doesn't know what a fucking Jetski is? Lastly, Ex girlfriend from three years ago (we split up because she moved far away) may be coming back, and be interested. Help with advice ladies of the thread!
Some man advice for the shy girls though - Unless the guy you like is a really outgoing person, he's going to really like it if you ask him out for a drink, or a movie or something. Specify just the two of you, he'll like that! If he says no, then you know he's not interested, without the months of awkwardness!
A Jetski is a type of Russian aircraft isn't it?
Officially single now. Fuck yeah. I'm thinking about going after this guy who works at a coffee shop I go to a lot... probably won't get anywhere, because I think he's a lot older than me, but it's still worth a try. Mostly I just want someone to hang out with.
Single now too... Trying to enjoy it.
I used to be fine with it and not care too much, but now I really miss being in a relationship. I mean, I'm getting over him (he's not the same guy I fell for now anyway), but I miss being loved, you know? Annoying as hell.
Doesn't help that he said it was because he couldn't handle a relationship and still loved me, but then got together with a new girl 3 days later.
Sorry, I ranted too...
There's maybe five or six years difference between us, and I don't know him well at all.
Mostly I'm just really happy to have the stress of dating someone gone.
For me, five or six years is the grey zone. Not young enough to be a turn-on in that way and not close enough to my own age for me to identify with.
...diverts...
Still I feel at the moment I would take almost any offer thrown at me, and the thought of this makes me feel a little sad. Whoever did the asking would be playing the part of temporary relief though, so I would feel sorry for them too. But ultimately the guilt of this will cause me to emit an aura that will prevent anyone offering in the first place. orz
Why is it like this, I was happy being single until that one spark had the nerve to flash for a while. WHY.
I'm in love with one of my best friends, and she's dating another best friend. I've already confessed my feelings to her, but she says she can't feel the same way about me. DAMMIT!
Can I be your hazubando and you be mai waifu?
hi
sigh
Maybe im too young to be saying this.... maybe ?
15 years old and i've yet to have a girlfriend.
yet to kiss a girl...
I don't know, something tells me that it isn't that big of a deal, that im still young and that i have alot more to experience... that a relationship right now would not be as great as i think it would.
But the other side of my mind tells me that im growing up without experience ... and that later on i will find it hard to get a girlfriend and have something special.
I seem to have alot of friends who are girls ... but none seem to have any interest in me and to say the truth ... i seem to have no interest in them either.
I don't know...
Maybe i feel like im missing out?
I really want to be with someone, but i find it hard.
At the same time, i havn't really tried.
Whenever i meet a girl, i usually place her in the friend section or whatever.
I never try to go out with them.
I guess i have something on my side then huh?
Girlfriends so far = 0
Rejections = 0
dude you are 15 years old, you have nothing to worry about. there are guys here are much, much older and are in the same situation, you have plenty of time to figure this shit out.
try asking a girl out, within a few days of meeting her. this way you avoid putting her into the "friend section." if you get rejected, the friend option is still there but if you dont want the hassle, then you can easily let her go since you hardly had anything going in the first place.
point is, take some chances and ask some girls out, trust me after a while rejection is nothing. you will always miss the shots the you dont take.
Bleh, I just transferred into a university as a 3rd year a few months ago, and I haven't went out (or made any friends) yet.
I joined the anime club (lol) but of the only two decent women there one rarely comes and seems taken anyway, and the other stopped coming near the start (I guess she had sense).
I still continue to attend as a feeble attempt at being social, though I think most of the people there are weeaboos and/or gam3rs, and I could download and watch at my pace any anime they show.
Also, I'm way too shy to say anything to anyone, anyway.
>>575
Also, hello female me!
Though, you've done more than I have. :(
>>615
don't rely on an anime club to gain a social life - surrounding yourself by people with no social skills (this applies to 90% members of most anime clubs anywhere) is not a good way to meet interesting people.
that said, i'm sure it can be hard to make friends or meet women when you join a university in the third year - i'm quite a shy person myself, but i've been at the same university for two and a half years, so i still have the friends i made in the first few weeks of the first year when everyone was actually open to meeting new people.
although considering my last post in the context of the thread... i may have a few friends but my love life is certainly going nowhere. it doesn't help much that i'm gay but i don't know a single other gay person. maybe i should make a trip to this town's (one and only) gay bar more often.
>>617
Well, I wasn't really hoping to gain "a social life." Just maybe some friends.
Pretty much everyone there has social skills... though, maybe their skills are different from the normal kind. :p But that's still more than I have.
Besides, there's not much else I'm interested in. My school does have a computer club, but the times conflict with one of my classes and I'll probably be even worse there.
>>613
you oughta be concerned though, get your act together and find chicks... you don't want to become old like us with no girls. time may be long (for you) but it ain't gonna wait for anyone.
I'm 22, and age = time without a girlfriend. I went to tech school, so the only women that were around me were in their 40's and trying to jumpstart their careers. Now I'm a working stiff doing 8 - 5 in a cubicle for an IT company. And the female populationn here is even worse than it was in school. Of the 1% of the building that is female, 100% of them are either married with kids, or have boyfriends. So yeah, conditions would have to improve quite a bit for the pickens to even be slim.
And that leaves me with bars as the only source of potential mates. And I'm not too fond of bars (although I do enjoy drinking) as they require I strike up conversation with total strangers with whom I have nothing in common, and I'll probably end up embarassing myself. Plus I'm not really interested in the one night stands that that sort of environment fosters. Not that I would turn one down though...
So yeah, I've come to accept that I'll probably be single forever. The more I try to convince myself that I'm okay with that, the more I realize that if have to try to convince myself of it, it means I'm lying to myself. Man, I wish I didn't have to have a job. I wish I could go back to school, meet people my own age with similar interests, and have fun again. Not to go off on a tangent, but being an adult sucks. When you're young, and your parents say "These are the best years of your life" they know what they're talking about. For the love of God/Buddha/Flying spaghetti monster/Hare Krishna/whatever, listen to them.
>>621
Once you get past the age of 21 and you cannot find people your own age to date anymore, it's time to go for the 18 year old high school girls because they love older men who can get them drunk. Also, you have a car right? They love that. Just don't be fucking creepy.
> your parents say "These are the best years of your life" they know what they're talking about.
I'd say: No, no they don't. Not my life anyway.
I'd like to go back ten years and smack anyone who ever said that to me across the face.
>>622
WTF, is the car the only thing I need? I'm filthy rich but most 18 year olds won't go for me even if I propose an arrangement (some do, but I haven't found any really nice ones yet. My standards are a little high too.) But because I live in a city where public transport is more than adequate and taxis are cheap, I don't bother buying a car.
>>624
Well, are there any other hobbies you like to do other than watching Anime? Do you play any instruments? Are you a good artist? Try and pick up on any of your talents and see if there's a group or any like-minded people in your area you can meet up with. Chances are at least one of them's gonna be a single woman.
As for me, I'm single but not looking to be in a relationship at the moment. I seemed to attract all the psychos back in 2007, one of which is still giving me nightmares now. I've also got a fun (not) evening with one of my ex's tomorrow night. There are times when Women are not worth it, and you just want to stick with your friends instead...
>>622
How is it possible to do that without being creepy? "Nice cheerleader outfit. Wanna get drunk and fuck?" is one small step away from "Nice teddy bear. Want some candy from my non-descript white van?" And I say that as a self-described lolicon.
>>626 It isn't. Even if you do it without being creepy, you're still a creep.
>>625
If it's about single women my own age, I run into quite a few thanks to going to language school. I just haven't run into any I like, with the obvious exception of one.
Well, if she's single and you like her, then go for it. You don't have to have a whole range of options there, if you see one chance then go for it and don't regret it.
Single , 26 . I GAVE UP. Jeezes my life has become a hell..if i could go back and tell my teenage self one thing it would be: kill yourself so i wouldn't be here. kill yourself JAMIE! When you were 18 DONT fall in love with her cuz she will push you away when you will give YOUR first FAILED kiss. After it, you WILL FAIL COLLEGE and run out of "friends" leaving you more broken. Kill yourself because the diagnosis told you that you have AVPD, that's like wanting something but in truth you will never get it. Kill yourself jamie because that is my only hope.
I have never really bothered looking for a girlfriend. After high school ended two years ago, I have spent most of my time at work or night classes. I suppose I should look for one now.
I love too many things by nature. I love fire, I love my friends, I love to eat chocolate. I really mean 'love' and not 'like'. As such, even if I longed for tenderness from times to times, I never really 'needed' a girlfriend. I loved a girl in highschool, though. Spoke to her once or twice. I valued her a lot, but heck, now I realize a good part of it would've been idealization.
So I decided to wait and not chase. I tried, once, as I was feeling down - didn't work, I dropped the case before we even could do anything, could've been a one-night-stand or a relationship, I didn't care. I didn't love her. I didn't care. I still had the other one somewhere on my mind, though.
Something like six years later, I realized that I didn't really love the first one. It wasn't true, it was just an excuse for the fact no-one around me felt worth of more than the love I give to everything I do.
And I met this girl. I found her cute and charming and intelligent. She was great. I met her at parties, with friends. Every time we would chat a little bit. And I would discover a part of her universe. Never in my life did I feel that connected to someone. She has everything I could dream of in a human being. When I'm around her, I don't feel alone (not alone as in "no friends and stuff", but alone as "no one on this goddamn earth is like me"). I think I discovered what alter-ego means.
And I think we'll never be in a relationship. Impossible. She didn't want to get closer before I moved out (some 250km farther, not that far, though), so I suppose she's already been disappointed by a distanced relationship. And I strongly suppose she likes a very charismatic friend of mine, and I suppose he likes her too.
I talked with him about it, and strangely he told me he'd support and help me, and never try anything with her. I trust him. But still, I don't think it will work.
I'm so mindfucked that I have a hard time even following a casual conversation with people around me.
Damn.
I knew I'd destroy myself the day I'd really fall in love.
The girls I like keep dating my friends instead. Or in one case, marrying one. It's not like I can just turn off the physical attraction and forget all the times I fapped to them. Or in at least one case actually fucked them before they started dating my friend. It's frustrating.
And all the girls I do end up dating turn out to be batshit insane. Sure, the sex is good for awhile but then I just can't put up with the craziness.
And then one of my friends girlfriends gets drunk and tells me, "I made a mistake, YOU would have been a better boyfriend" and then tries to get me to fuck her behind my friends back!
Fuck all of that. Women are crazy. My right hand never tried to kill me/itself, stole shit from me, went nuts and had to be committed, cheated on me, or any of the other bullshit that women have done to me.
bump
>My right hand never tried to kill me/itself, stole shit from me, went nuts and had to be committed, cheated on me, or any of the other bullshit that women have done to me.
Yeah, that's part of the reason why I stopped actively pursuing relationships/sex and just bought a fleshlight. My only regret is that I didn't do it sooner.
>>634 here.
I made up my mind. After some days of slowly falling into a mild depression, I shook myself up and set things straight in my head.
I will carry on as I did before. I'll set my goals for the future as to work, get money, and then travel all over the place to see my friends, wherever they may hide in the future. Especially her.
I'm going to love everything just a bit more. After all, it's all in my mind so no one but me can do anything to it. If I want it, they can't shield themselves from love. They can't prevent me. They can do things like not answering, be harsh, whatever, I don't care. I'm stronger than they are.
And I'll tell her that. I'm going to tell her exactly how I feel. How much I love everything in this godforsaken world, every instant, everything really. And that amongst all those things, she managed to get a special place. That it's not a problem if she doesn't love me. I'm above that, I'll just keep it in my head, and we'll carry on. At least I'll do.
Fuck it all. Fuck all of your fears, all of your regrets, all of your remorse, all of your anguish, all of your sadness, all of your distress, keep your passions, value them, love them, fling them as high as you can.
I feel that's the best you can do - I feel that's the best I can do.
I live in a small town, and all the guys around here are fucking hicks and wiggers, or gay, or ugly........fucking hell!
I talked to her about the situation I was in. As I thought, she liked my friend. I told her I loved her. A lot. She said sorry. We're okay with that. Neither of us made a choice, so there's no point in thinking the thing over and over again.
We're not children anymore, even if the situation will be a little awkward at first, we'll make it through. Friends is what matters most, anyway.
I just hope that my friend won't put her down not to hurt me; she'd be the one to be hurt, and in the end it's not what I want, heh. Having two friends happy together is great, too.
Well, looks like I'm off for some more years of loneliness on the romantic point of view.
Let's just hope there are some more like her out there. Even if I'll probably need some time to love again, of course.
My stomach hurts a bit, but I got my resolve, I manage to be kind of happy.
>>634
>>638
>>640
Continued. Again.
Looks like I overestimated myself. I'm trying to keep my head out of the water, but I'm slightly losing control. It took some time, but I'm slowly realizing that she'll never be 'mine' (by reflex, I added 'probably' in the last sentence... obviously, it didn't deserve to be there). We'll never bind at the deepest level, and I'll never get to explore her soul as far as I'd want to.
That really leaves me with few things to look at in the future.
I'll still try to kind of stick to my resolve, and do everything I do with as much heart as I can, but... damn, it's going to be hard.
The holidays are over and the traditional weekly meets will resume. I have resolved to continue going to the same place to see the same person knowing that she isn't available because she's great to be around. It's torture in a way, but I have weighed up the torture against the benefit and I'm finding the benefit to be worth the pain.
In doing this I feel a little like a certain character in a certain manga, but that's okay, because my resolution for 2008 is not to fall in love, and I feel that this might help me achieve that.
ITT: pathos, and a fuck ton of it
I have fallen for her already which is why I feel it can't get any worse. I already went through the whole shock phase on finding out she wasn't available. Now my feelings remain but I am grounded in knowing that I have no chance.
In this situation there's not a lot I can do because I know the only way for me to lose an obsession about one person is to start an obsession about another one. This is the danger though, I'll probably end up breaking my resolution by meeting someone else. Maybe that won't be all bad, but given my track record it will be another case of the same.
>>645
I share your pain. And I'm thinking next time won't be before my thirties, given how it went this far, and how good (read: bad) it was this time.
I liked a girl once. Everybody knew it. She started dating someone else. Everyone was afraid to tell me, so much to the point that I was hitting on her one night in front of her boyfriend. So later on they decide to tell me, and it's like, "we didn't know how you'd feel, if you'd be mad or anything". I think the guy was afraid I might want to fight him or something. My friends have weird ideas about me sometimes... But anyway, I just laughed and said, "why would I be mad? I'm a completely shallow individual and am already over it, LOL" Didn't bother me a bit and I stopped pursuing her.
Fast forward. Those two break up. I'm still KINDA interested in this girl, but not really anymore. My friend starts dating her. Again, I'm the last person to find out. Why? My friend says sort of the same thing, like he thought I would be really upset or something. What? What have I done to make my friends think I will turn into a homicidal maniac if I can't date the girl I want (and in this case, didn't even really want anymore)?
What the fuck?
Anyway, being single isn't so bad. At this point in my life having a girlfriend would mean being serious past what I am ready for. Like marriage and kids and shit. Which is why I broke up with my last girlfriend: things were moving too fast, and I wasn't ready to go there again (I'm divorced, and happily so).
I'm over the mixed signals thing. I wish everyone had a luminescent sign over their heads with their relationship status, so that when a woman acts single, never mentions a SO, and doesn't wear a wedding ring, the big-ass orange sign can say NO, DO NOT FALL FOR THIS ONE, BAAAAKA.
>>647
My marriage ended for fundamentally the same reason. Although she went about it the wrong way ("he won't let me have a kid, so let's find someone to fuck who will let me have a kid") instead of speaking out about it and ending things gracefully and sooner. From my side it only looked like the withholding of sex for no reason at all, which should be a crime punishable by death. ;-)
I've got to rant. Any advice might help too...
19, never been on a date with a girl, never held hands, etc. I haven't had any female friends either (unless it's through another one of my male friends). According to some of them though, I'm very attractive (which I still can't bring myself to attribute that to myself) and really shouldn't have any trouble meeting someone.
I'm at a big University and involved in a club (fencing) so there should be plenty of opportunities to at least meet someone. However I'm cursed with being the quiet type of person in lectures and class.
Really though I don't even think I'm that quiet. I'm just bad at starting conversations/meeting people. Particularly with girls. However, of the girls I have gotten to know somewhat, they are not one's I'd be interested in.
So pretty much I'm lonely, I can't start conversations with strangers, and I'm starting to feel like I'll never meet someone.
Fuck you, feelings. Fuck you.
It's horrible when you manage to put them aside, given the girl you love somehow ended up with one of your best friends whom you happen to work with, and they come to slap you right in the face when another friend (the third coworker) tells you he was trying to call him but he hung up and turned his cell off. And he tells you jokingly "He's probably makin' love, lol", because he doesn't even know how deep you have been affected by that girl.
And there you feel a deep physical pain in the chest, a chill, and your mind suddenly blanks up. And when it comes back it's a total mess, and you know you're back down in it, and you have to sort your thoughts once again. It also reminds you that no matter what you might think, hope, pray for, resolve yourself to - there are things about yourself you'll never be able to control. And you imagine them both, and you chase the thought, but it's still there somewhere.
Only time will help.
Fucking time.
And tonight, when you'll finally give up to sleep because you're too tired, at the break of day, you'll dream of them. Once again.
will she pick up? will she see the voice mail? does she know what we are going to talk about? does she have the courage to call back?
Just broke up with my girlfriend...welcome back single rants thread, I surely missed you.
Not that I don't love you guys, I cannot accept the fact that I am coming back here. I hoped this would just be a temporary venue and one day I will be free of its bondage. And I think for that I thought like that, God decided to spite my arrogance and ended it with her. Man this is rough, but I will live. Usually when I have a problem I would go to her, she would listen, but now I really don't have one, except my best friend who is also suffering a similar heartbreak.
I really don't want to come back home, I have been to the top of the mountain and quite frankly I loved it; I loved her. I never told her that...Right now I am holding myself back from finding her and shouting at the top of my lungs 'I LOVE YOU' Won't do me any good. I know she loves me but due to circumstances, due to social context, due to religious beliefs she does not want any of it. I say FUCK IT, but it will not do me any good. The problems she has will never leave and thus we can never be together. To all you guys out there looking for love, I wish you the best on your journeys, for this old sailor will be taking a break from the sea. Any advice I can give you, ask but looking at my recent success, don't count on it being good.
I wonder sometimes if maybe the person that's my soulmate got into some accident and has been dead this whole time
>>654
I undersand exactly what you mean. And quite frankly, I totally understand you don't want to be 'here'. Because, well, we know what that means. I thought I would be able to break away from here too, without spite or anything, but just because it's obviously better out there. But things don't turn out that way, and I still hang around.
To follow up your metaphor, this thread is kind of the harbor you don't necessarily want to go to, but still know it'll always be there when you've nowhere else to go. It's not the best place in the world, but still it's better than nothing.
Best luck on your 'recovery'...
I feel sick. I cannot sleep, I cannot relax. It is 2am in the morning all I want to do is sleep or throw up. I feel like if I throw up all of this pain I feel will be flushed out of my system. But I know that the awfulness will build up again in me. I just want to fast forward in time so I can put all of this behind me and forget.
Stupid me, to think I can love a girl and have her reciprocate the feelings. Well I can promise you this /love/, never again will I allow myself to be fooled by a girl or be fooled by this silly idea called love.
Hi, I like to share with everyone a single piece of tool that would help change and mold your life.
www.askmen.com
The site istotally free.... and I just realize how much of a spam bot I sound >.> but serious o.o the stuff is like total gold :O
haha, anyways, I really do hope the site will help change your life as it is slowly changing mine.
>>657
Saying it will never happen is the best way to bring it on. I don't know if it's Murphy's Law, or some other law.
Well I am wiser and I will not let my guard down so easily for another woman.
And this feeling of hope is the worst ever. I have some delusion that she will call me and tell me we made a mistake.
Fuck my life
What I want
is a girl
with whom to walk
down a bright city street
on a warm summer's night.
>>661
Aw.
As for me, I'm a 19 yr old girl who is feeling very conflicted. Despite being confessed to quite a few times, I've always been single, and never been kissed. At the moment there are numerous issues I have to deal with before pursuing a relationship. Some of these are; religious family (who believes in abstinence till marriage), finding the right guy, self confidence and my studies.
I've never been particularly desperate to find a boyfriend. I'm the sort of person that goes with the flow. And considering that life is good, I'm happy to keep things like this for a while. However, I do worry about my lack of relationship experience. My friends always come to me for advice, which is rather ironic. But I'm scared that at my age, if I don't start working on my non-existent love life soon, it will be too late. Basically, I'm starting to see myself as a 40 year old virgin. Yet I can't do anything about it because of my circumstances. Meanwhile my social circle is getting the impression that I am frigid, because I've rejected anyone who confesses to me (I just wasn't interested in any of them). I know this is a silly question, but should I start to care? Am I really missing out on the prime of youth?
>>662
If you are not ready, then for the love of God, don't do it. That is what happened to me, I went with a girl who thought she was ready, but wasn't. So not only she hurt herself but hurt me as well. Just enjoy your life and just be who you are, one day you will find a guy who will be the answer to your prayers.
As for me
I feeling much better now. The first night, I was literally sick. But the next day I felt so much better. While we were dating, she made me join her dance team because they needed guys and we have a show coming up next week. I easily could have not gone and quit, but I am being a gentleman about it and going to perform in the show, but I have no more obligation to be there, so after I am done with it.
Last night, she wanted to talk to my friend about us. My friend probably took the break up harder than we did, since he recently broke up with his girlfriend and literally told me that we were the only sign that love still existed. I demanded that I listen to it so I could get some closure, hoping that there some other reason for the break up. But turns out it was the same reasons, basically she got scared and wasn't ready for a relationship. But since I was there, and my friend can get angry easily, we started to ask her hard questions and basically made her feel guilty. At that point she got upset and ended the conversation. My friend got upset that he may have ruined his friendship with her, so I called her up and told her I was there and you shouldn't be mad at him, you should be mad at me.
So tonight we are going to meet and tie up any loose ends. The thought that we can still be friends are gone and any hope that we can get back together is over, even though there is a ember of that hope in pit of my soul but I will stamp it out as soon as I can find it. I really don't want it to end, but the truth is, it is over. My mind has accepted that fact, it takes a little longer for my heart to do the same. Am I crazy to think that there is hope? Please tell me yes, please tell me that it is over, because honestly I cannot fully accept it and I don't know if I fully will.
>>663
There shouldn't be hope. Drop the case. If something happens in the future, well, then be it, but don't hope for something to happen.
Do not ruin your health, your sanity and whatever, thinking about it over and over again. Seriously, it'll do more damage than good.
Once more to the number of the Beast.
I'll take the so-called evil post number, I'm already cursed so another can't hurt. My curse is my initials; SWM, which also stands for Single White Male. Just my luck, eh? Been single for almost 29 years now despite all my efforts. Maybe girls just aren't into skinny self-sufficient gamers who won't put out and don't drink? Who knows.
>>667
now ITT: we guess what your name is
Stephen William Madison
obviously, Super W. Mario
James T. Quirk
Irving Theodore Teatime
Lex Oswald Samson
Ezra Renault Schmidt
Final update:
I am fine now, a week later my life is getting back into order. I am moving on, meeting new girls and already have a date next week. The ex has been trying to talk to me one-on-one for a while, but I have been taking my time to schedule something. I really don't want to, I want to put all behind me. Eventually we will talk, about what I dunno, I don't care, but honestly I just want to move on.
So everyone that has fallen off the horse, it really isn't that hard to get back on. Just have a positive outlook, good friends and be ready to take risk and life will work out.
651 signing out.
>>651, thanks. I think I knew the "right" answer, but wanted some confirmation. It didn't used to worry me as much when I was younger, but lately with all these newfound responsibilities, I'm really starting to feel my age.
Anyway, good to hear that things are looking good for you.
so it turns out this girl i had a huge crush on is... wait for it... gay.
FUCK
which is surprising as hell, because NOBODY knew she was gay. one of my friends made a joke about her being a lesbian (which seemed ridiculous at the time, she doesn't act like it at all, just shy), and i brought it up around her in a teasing way. then, a week later, she tells us.
so now, on one hand, i don't care about anything. one the other hand, i feel sort of relieved, because she never knew, and i think i can keep it from getting awkward, and keep her as a friend. and it's better than blissful ignorance.
and she seemed so perfect, too (don't they all?). except that she's into objectivism right now, a phase i'm hoping will pass.
>>677 Looks like the popular saying among females, "all the good men are either taken or gay" applies to both genders as well!
>>677
Maybe she's bi?
>>679
fucking wish. we had a discussion a couple of weeks ago about how she thinks there are no such thing as bisexuals, just gay/straight people who are confused. aoeugghcrudaour.bsog
So the girl I liked who turned out to be married but I found out just in time before I went ahead and confessed... some other guy gave her valentines day chocolate and she let him down. The guy was depressed as hell, but the important thing is it made me feel a whole lot better because it could well have been me in that position and I escaped from it.
Okay, so... I kind of progressed since the last update. I've been through some hard nights, but now it's mostly okay. I have a few physical issues (ie sudden cough & suffocation) that probably are due to too many interiorized feelings and stress, but in my head it is almost fine. I'm doing stuff to keep myself occupied and fixed myself some mid-term objectives, to be sure I'm not drifting away.
There's just one main thing that is bothering me right now. I feel like an ass for how things went when I kind of "confessed" to her. Seriously, that wasn't right at all, I should either have done that with more tact, or more likely not said anything at all. It was, I guess, kind of bluntly... I really do want to apologize for that. It's been some time now, but I don't know if it's enough.
Also I learnt that she and my other friend kind of broke up something like two weeks ago... something not really right about him not returning her calls, I don't really know (and don't want to know, that's not my story). This gives me a weird aftertaste, a mix of relief as things won't be so awkward and tense between us three, and of disappointment in my friend, and of sadness because, well, I always feel like that when a couple in my friends doesn't work out well.
And now with the knowledge of this fact, and the surroundings of Valentine's Day, I think it would really be innappropriate to apologize now.
But is it appropriate at all?
hai
First thing first, what your heart told you to do?
Peace
>>684
What do you mean? What did my heart tell me to do at which point?
im in love with a girl and i know she loves me. yet we cannot be together. i know in time our love for each other will fade away and i will find someone new who will love me more than she has and the same for her.
yet i dont want that to happen, i want her, i need her. she is the only one for me. but she is not mine, i am not holding her in my arms, i am not staring into her beautiful eyes telling her that she is my happiness. no. there is nothing between us but an illusion of a feeling called love.
Bump. I'd still like some input for >>682 ...
>>686 Grow up already. "I need __" is a useless phrase.
>>682 What's there to apologize for? You were basically just freaking out, right? it happens to everyone. Just keep moving on and acting normal.
If it stays in your head, then just mention that you wish you'd have had more control and didn't want her to be put into an uncomfortable situation.
Or am I missing something here?
>>688
Nope, it's kinda what happened. And I think I'm going to put it sort of the way you said it to her.
Getting quite lonely, yet only because of my insecurities. I wouldn't subject someone to my selfish dependence... Though I'm becoming increasingly tempted to. Every time I walk to the bus I catch for school, I almost just walk past it, out of the city. I just want to die in the desert, reading my books.
Daamn, reading through large chunks of this thread makes me go "and I though I had it bad."
But.. ranting, right? Might as well throw out a life story while I'm at, and get it off my chest.
Highschool relationships didn't go to well for me. Or rather, the only one that I had didn't really go anywhere. But for all my loneliness by the end of my two years there, it wasn't so bad. That being said, I went to college two years early, and not the 'regular' sort either. Evening School (at a good university, batchelors degree and all, but those who've taken evening classes know that socializing isn't something that one does very much there.) Work kicked in around the time I was 17... And on the relationship front I went through one long-distance e-lationship.
Then shit happens, and I when I finally get the opportunity to lose my virginity, I fail. Yeah. Nervousness can be a bonerkiller.
Perhaps I should explain something. The girl I was in a long-distance relationship with, well, it was a turbulent relationship to be sure. We'd split, come back, like two uncertain pendulums. At the time of my fail, we were not together... but hey, she still flips. (Not that that matters, girl had a quick temper but a quick cooldown time and a surprising ability to think rationally.)
The problem I'm having... well, I can't pinpoint the exact time that it started is the fragmentation of feelings. Most girls I fall for, the feelings are not reciprocated , and I think this leads me to have several "backup crushes" so to speak. Combine this with my desire to get married and have kids(!?) at some point in the (preferably near) future, and you have a recipe for emotional disaster.
tl;dr - Liking a lot of girls at the same time = massive fail.
I fall for girls, never get enough confidence to talk to them, then they get boyfriends ._.
This has happend too many times.
I just have to post it somewhere. I need it off my chest.
There's this girl I was really into, for about 3, 4 years. I never told her though. Then, I asked her at a supermarked where she works parttime if she would want to go to the movies, but I messed up real, REAL bad. Of course, she shyly rejected.
She probably was a bit into me but that was the end of it. Though she didn't have a boyfriend for 4 years, 3 months later she had one. That relation failed, and one month later she had another one.
I feel like I spoiled it for the both of us. Though I am over her, I'll probably never be over this memory.
I find myself liking this guy who has absolutely none of the characteristics that I'm into. He's not asian, he's not skinny (at all), not that tall, curlyish brown hair, and even though he's a gamer, he's all for the first-person shooters. But he's really nice and accepts me for who I am and I can't help but like that part. A lot.
But he likes another girl. Not like he knows that I know, but that part doesn't really matter. I really don't stand a chance.
One time I poked his side and realized that he had a big tummy. Normally that grosses me out. I giggled. Wtf is wrong with me?
I met so many girls, got on well so much with them, slept with so much of them at parties, even at home, and nothing ever happened... ever.
>>695
I'll trade your confidence for my sister.
>>696
Do you do home delivery?
>>697
Sure. First we must find out a way to transfer personalities ._.
Just tell how you get all the confidence! It might radiate a bit onto me.
700GET